The New Kid
by Cress
Summary: Joey:Chandler slash. An AU fic about the two boys meeting in high school. None of the other main Friends will appear until college. Not dark, but has a couple of sex scenes.
1. First Impressions

**For British and other non-U.S. readers, American high school consists of the last four years (grades 9-12) of schooling before students go on to either jobs or university education. A high school sophomore is generally 15-16 years old. Also, the terms "prep school", "private school" and "boarding school" all have connotations of being snobby schools intended for privileged children. "Public school" on the other hand is for everyone.**

**The details about Chandler's camp girlfriend come from episode 706, TOW The Nap Partners. The (sketchy) details about Angela Delvecchio come from the episodes 105, 112, and 406.**

* * *

During his sophomore year, Chandler Bing got transferred to a new high school. It wasn't that his mom had finally listened to his pleas to get him out of that all-boys prep school in upstate New York. No, he was moving back in with his mom in New York City because she couldn't afford to send him to that boarding school anymore. Nora Tyler Bing was going through a second divorce, and had to cut back on expenses.

"I swear," Nora said to herself, "next time I'm gonna save money ahead of time and make the guy sign a prenuptial agreement."

Nora even sublet their spacious condo in uptown Manhattan and moved with Chandler across the river to a smaller apartment in Queens, because she found out that there was a more affordable boarding/day school in Queens that she could send Chandler to, but it had a long wait list for admission. So for the remainder of his sophomore year, Chandler would have to attend a public school instead.

Chandler was happy, both to be rid of his disturbingly young stepfather at last, and to once again attend a regular school filled with girls.

Chandler had hit puberty during middle school, but had little luck with girls at the time. He only got a girlfriend when he went to camp that summer and met Julie, who thought he was cute and funny. Whenever they could sneak off for a while from the camp counselors and the other kids, Chandler and Julie would hold hands and kiss and mess around like curious thirteen year olds will do. She even promised that she would be his girlfriend next summer too, if he came back to the same camp. Chandler made sure of that by whining to his mom, "You owe me, for sending me to that boys' school upstate! If I can't see girls during the year, at least let me see them during the summer!"

So Chandler and Julie reunited the next summer, and had a great time again, despite the lack of privacy. However, the third summer was different; Chandler rather ungraciously broke things off as soon as he saw that she had gained over a hundred pounds. Julie furiously avoided him for the rest of that awkward time at the camp, but often muttered to the other girls about what a jerk and a "skidmark" he was; apparently, he couldn't even take three years of a somewhat casual commitment to a summer romance.

After Julie, Chandler had to return to the prep school, where he had even less chance of getting any action with girls, but now things seemed to be turning around, and he wanted to make the most of it.

"You sure you're gonna be all right, kiddo?" Chandler's mom kissed his cheek as he started to leave for his first day at his new school. Nora Tyler Bing genuinely loved her son, though she did tend to be neglectful sometimes, as well as oblivious to how her sex life, book writing, and constant drinking embarrassed Chandler.

The problem was that Nora was still bitter about her first husband Charles coming out and leaving his family for a new, gay life in Las Vegas. Nora would never admit it to herself, let alone anyone else, but she felt somewhat insecure and wondered if somehow it was her fault that Charles had turned gay. Thus Nora needed to constantly reaffirm her sexiness by dating younger guys and jet-setting around the world to promote her romance novels. She even married that last guy because he got along reasonably well with Chandler, and she thought they could maybe have a family again. Boy, was that a mistake.

"I'll be fine, Mom!" Chandler answered. "This is what I've been asking you for, for months." Ever since he dumped Julie and missed how it felt to kiss and touch a girl.

Nora sighed. "It's just that you always hear on the news how bad the public schools are. The violence, the poor education... all the stuff that I thought a private school would protect you from."

"It can't be that bad. Look, Mom, if you can find a private school that's coed, I'd go there." He certainly would love seeing girls dressed in cute little uniforms. "But for now, a regular school is just fine with me."

Nora shrugged and gave in. "All right, we'll see how this goes. But if you meet some girl and start dating, just let me know so that I can buy you some condoms."

"Mom!" God, why did she always have to find some way to bring up sex, or other embarrassing stuff?

Nora laughed and kissed him again. "Get going before you're late for school! Bye, kiddo!"

"Bye, Mom!"

* * *

Girls, girls everywhere! Chandler was in heaven at this new high school. Best of all, probably none of these girls had met Julie or heard her badmouth him, so he had a fair shot at making them think that he was cute and funny too. Not that Chandler consciously intended to dump any of these girls like he had Julie, but he didn't see what was wrong with moving on and finding a new, petite girlfriend. Chandler had never taken the camp fling seriously anyway; to him, it was just a chance for mutual fun and exploration. He no more thought about Julie's hurt feelings than he had thought about Susie Moss's humiliation when he lifted her skirt in that school play in the fourth grade.

Chandler was fifteen and more concerned with trying to lose his virginity, than with learning life lessons. Even just glimpsing a naked breast would be nice, for Julie had only let him grope her with clothes on.

So Chandler went through his first few classes in a daze, smiling dumbly at all the girls and trying to decide on a good joke to charm them with. Then he saw a really pretty girl named Chelsea in History class, so Chandler decided that he would strike up a conversation with her and ask her to sit with him at lunch. Unfortunately, Chelsea was sitting across the room, very close to the door, and she left class too quickly for Chandler to catch up to her.

So he went out into the hallway and looked all around for her. Then he spotted her heading toward her locker with some friends, so he rushed after her, hoping to get a moment alone with her before the next class began. But in his haste to reach the lovely Chelsea, Chandler collided with some jocks who were hanging out by their lockers.

"Hey, you klutz! What's wrong with you?"

Chandler turned and saw their angry faces. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you guys."

"How the hell do you miss all three of us?"

"And Jason's the quarterback of the football team. You could have banged up his knee!"

"I'm really sorry. I just wasn't looking."

"You bet you're sorry, you little geek!" Jason looked at Chandler appraisingly. "Hey, I don't know you. Are you that new kid with the weird name?"

Jason's friend Tony nodded. "Yeah, I saw him in English today. Chester Bing." The jocks all laughed at the name.

Chandler frowned. "It's Chandler Bing."

"Do I look like I care? New kid, you gotta learn to watch where you're going."

"Yeah, and who taught you how to dress? You look like a fag."

"Or a rich boy. We hate both."

Chandler looked down at his somewhat preppy clothes and frowned. Then he looked up again. "Look, I said I was sorry! Will you just let it go?" He started to turn and leave, hoping that Chelsea hadn't already gone away.

Tony grabbed Chandler's arm, though, and wouldn't let go. "Hey, we're not done with you."

Jason's other friend Nick knocked Chandler's books to the ground.

Chandler couldn't believe their immaturity and how easily they were amused, but he bit his lip against making some smart-aleck remark, because it wouldn't help.

"Oh you can't think of anything else to say?" Jason mocked him. "Did we hurt your feelings, wimp?"

Suddenly, some Italian-looking guy stepped forward and looked irritated. "Will you quit it? He apologized three times already! Stop being such assholes."

"Mind your own business, Tribbiani!"

"What, all three of you are gonna beat up one pale, scrawny kid? Way to prove you're tough, guys!" He rolled his eyes and gave them a sarcastic thumbs up.

Stung, and noticing how a lot of students in the halls were staring at the scene, Jason got red in the face. He was one second away from deciding to punch Tribbiani out.

"And he wouldn't even have bumped into you if you guys didn't take up half the hallway like you always do."

Scowling and slamming their lockers shut, Jason and his buddies reluctantly stormed off, muttering about how they were late for practice.

Chandler sighed and said, "Thanks, man."

"No problem." And with that, the Italian walked off, losing himself in the crowd of students again.

Chandler picked up his books and noticed that Chelsea was long gone. He sighed and hurried to his next class just as the tardy bell rang.


	2. A Close Encounter

Chandler got detention for being late to class, and worse yet, he failed to see Chelsea again, so he wound up eating lunch alone. Then Chandler decided to look around the school and find the best places to sneak a cigarette. He had been trying to cut down on smoking lately, but maybe an occasional cigarette would help him to look less preppy and more cool to his peers.

Chandler had wandered outside to the parking lot, so he leaned against a nice-looking car and lit a cigarette. He wondered if his mom's recent money troubles would interfere with her buying him a car once he got his driver's license. Having a car would definitely make him cool, and he'd love to drive a hot car just like this one. Maybe Chandler should quit smoking and see how much money he could save by himself.

While he was brooding and smoking, Chandler noticed that nearby, a parked car was rocking back and forth, and distinct moans were coming from the back seat. Oops! He had obviously stumbled upon an intimate coupling. Chandler started to move away, but then curiosity got the better of him. If he couldn't be having sex, he'd very much like to see it, as long as it didn't involve either of his parents with some young twenty-something guy.

So Chandler crept up slowly to the car and tried not to let its occupants know that they were being watched. He just hoped that the guy in the car wasn't one of those arrogant jocks that he'd bumped into earlier.

"Joey, oh Joey!" the girl moaned.

Chandler moved nearer, listening to the grunts and groans flowing out of the open window. From where he stood he could now see the teenaged couple rocking together in the back seat, and they looked so erotic. Both their eyes were shut tight and they were still partly clothed. The girl's blouse was open and her skirt was pushed up high as the dark-haired guy thrust into her. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and scraped her fingernails down his back.

"Hurry," she said breathlessly, "Before lunch ends."

Joey obediently picked up the pace and finally brought them both off with shuddering orgasms. Then he pulled out of her and collapsed back against the seat, exhausted.

Chandler was so caught up in wanting to peek at the girl before she could straighten her clothes, that he didn't notice it when Joey turned and saw him.

"Hey!" Joey frowned and rolled down the window some more.

The girl looked up and yelled too, blushing and covering herself quickly.

Startled, Chandler blinked and began backing away nervously. "I-I'm sorry, I--" But then he recognized Joey as the same Italian guy that had helped him out that morning.

Joey furrowed his eyebrows in recognition as well and leaned out of the car window, staring at him.

"Um, you, uh, you want a cigarette?" Chandler offered his pack to him.

Joey shook his head and warned, "Don't sneak up on people."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll--I'll go now. Bye." He turned and ran back to the school building.

"How come you didn't punch that pervert?" the girl asked as she finished dressing and got out of the car.

Joey discarded his condom and started to zip up his jeans. "I wasn't dressed yet," he answered her. "I didn't want him to see me."

She folded her arms angrily. "Well he saw plenty of both of us, if you ask me!"

"I don't think he was looking at you, Angela." Joey got out of the car and shut the door.

"Why not?"

"'Cause I saw that guy already today. He's a new kid, and he seemed kind of gay or something. I wonder if he followed me out here."

Angela gasped. "Really? You think he has the hots for you?"

Joey shrugged and frowned. "I hope not. At least he saw that I definitely like girls."

She giggled and took his arm. "Yeah, you sure do."

Locking up her car before they left, Joey Tribbiani and Angela Delvecchio went back inside the school together.

* * *

Chandler was so turned on by the sex he had witnessed in the parking lot that he went into the boys' bathroom to jerk himself off in a stall. That made him late for another class, so he was slapped with another detention slip. It looked like he was on his way to earning a reputation as a bad student. He wondered if that would be cooler than his old reputation as the class clown at the prep school.

Girls liked bad boys, didn't they? He had read some books and seen some movies that suggested that. Maybe he should cut class altogether. But then Chandler realized that he couldn't go that far, because his mom would probably get mad at him and try pulling more strings to get him admitted faster into that Queens private school.

So Chandler continued through the rest of his classes that day, and was bored silly. His classes at the prep school were very advanced compared to this public school's curriculum. Well, at least that meant he'd have no trouble doing homework, which left plenty of time for him to go out socializing and try to get dates with girls.

Whenever the teacher wasn't paying attention, Chandler told some jokes to his classmates. A few responded with stifled laughter, but many simply ignored him, or were sleeping, or were gossiping with their friends. Apparently Chandler still needed to overcome the stigma of being a new kid with a weird name.

After the school-day ended, Chandler had to stay for detention, which was boring too, as none of the students being punished were allowed to speak.

So Chandler thought about his lack of success with girls today. He'd tried to get their attention several times, and so far no one thought he was cute and funny yet. Maybe it was his hair, or his preppy clothes, or his ending every joke with the sound effect "ba dum bum chessh."

Chandler wondered what that Italian guy Joey had done to win over that girl in the car. Maybe she was Joey's girlfriend, and they had sex all the time.

Finally, when he had served his allotted time, Chandler was dismissed, so he grabbed his books and left.

* * *

At home, Chandler was surprised to find his mom impatiently waiting for him. She usually was always busy writing a new novel in her office or having drunken fun with her boyfriend of the moment.

However, the meetings with her lawyers had made her unusually serious, and she also didn't feel ready yet to start a new fling now that her trust had been betrayed by another husband. So she felt like enjoying the company of her son.

"There you are, kiddo! What kept you?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just got detention because I was late for a couple of classes."

"Did you get lost? I thought they gave you a tour of the place already."

"Yeah, but there were complications. There was this girl I wanted to meet--"

"Oh really?" she smiled with delight. "My son's first crush! Tell me all about her!"

Chandler could tell that his mom was probably going to start discussing girls and sex with him. He'd never told her about Julie for that very reason. So he steered her off that embarrassing subject by telling her about the incident with the jocks.

Nora gasped. "See! What did I tell you about the violence?"

"Relax, mom! It wasn't like gang warfare with knives and stuff. It was the kind of thing that could have happened at my old school. Guys picking on the new kid. That's all it was. I'll try to be more careful from now on. Oh, by the way, I need some new clothes."

"Why?"

"Because I want to look cool and stylish."

"Oh no! Don't tell me you're gonna be wearing ripped jeans and getting your ears pierced. You should just be yourself."

"I know that. This stuff is just what I got into the habit of wearing at the boarding school. I want something new. Don't we have enough money for that?"

"I suppose so." So they agreed to go shopping.


	3. Word Gets Around

"Hey, did you hear that the new kid has a third nipple?"

Joey blinked and turned to his friend Vinnie.

"Yeah, the boys who have gym class with him say that they saw it yesterday. Nobody really looked at him in the changing room, but when Coach had everybody run laps and get sweaty, the kid's shirt started sticking to him, and that's when the guys saw his nubbin."

"Nubbin?"

"That's what the kid called it. He tried to joke that it was no big deal. At least he didn't have extra fingers or anything."

Joey shrugged. "So what are you telling me this for?"

"I don't know. I thought you'd think it was weird. Even the coach was grossed out by it."

"Really? It's gross-looking?"

Vinnie shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't see it myself. Hey, what do you think a girl would look like with three nipples? Three breasts?"

Joey tried to picture that and decide whether that image was extra erotic or just gross.

Suddenly, Vinnie tapped Joey's shoulder and pointed, "Hey, look, there's the kid now! He's not dressed preppy anymore. Do you think he's trying to be cool?"

"Who cares?" Joey dismissed it. "Why are we standing around gossiping like girls?"

Vinnie looked offended. "Hey! It's just that everybody's trying to figure out why his last name's Bing, when he doesn't look Chinese at all, and why he got transferred here in the middle of the school year."

Joey shrugged. "I don't know. Come on, let's go get something from the snack machine."

"You're always hungry!" Vinnie teased. "Doesn't your mom feed you enough?"

"Leave my mom out of this. Besides, I'm always getting a workout on the side, if you know what I mean."

Vinnie nodded and grinned at the reference to Joey's sexual escapades. But then, he suddenly saw something shocking and pointed again, "Hey, isn't that your sister over there?"

"What?" Joey turned and saw Mary Angela talking to the new kid by his locker. She was leaning very close and twirling her dark hair flirtatiously. Joey rushed over to them in horror.

"So they say you've got a third nipple," Mary Angela purred and ran a finger down his shirt. "You wanna go somewhere and show it to me?"

Chandler smiled and felt that his cute and funny routine was working at last. "Sure, um, you wanna go outside? Smoke a cigarette?"

She smiled and nodded, almost pinching his bottom before they were interrupted.

"Mary Angela!" Joey spoke sharply and scowled.

They both turned around, and Chandler was startled to see Joey yet again.

"Get off him!" Joey warned his sister.

She pouted, "Oh, you never let me have any fun!"

"I have to protect you. You're my sister!"

"I don't wanna be protected! I wanna do stuff." She hated the double standard that said that guys who slept around were macho studs, but girls who did so were easy sluts.

"No, it's not right! Come on!" he grabbed her arm and dragged her away.

Chandler wanted to protest and follow, but then he realized that he shouldn't provoke Joey's anger again, especially after that parking lot incident. Besides, Joey had saved him from the jocks on the first day, and it would seem ungrateful to not respect Joey's limits regarding his sister. Chandler vaguely wondered what it was like to have siblings.

Just then, another boy came over and remarked to Chandler, "You've got balls! All the guys around here know not to come near any of the Tribbiani sisters."

Chandler shrugged. He hadn't actually known that Mary Angela was Joey's sister, and therefore off limits; she was just an attractive Italian girl who was flirting with him. "See, I'm more than just a preppie from upstate!" Chandler spoke with bravado.

"I guess so." The other boy chuckled and introduced himself. "I'm Jack."

"Chandler."

"Hey, Chandler. Can you bum me a cigarette?"

"Sure." At last, Chandler had made a friend.

* * *

"How many times have I told you not to do that, Mary Angela?" Joey lectured her outside the school. "You're setting a bad example for our younger sisters, like Dina."

"What about your bad example! You're not a virgin."

"That's different. I'm a guy. You're supposed to be a good Catholic girl."

"And I suppose you're a good Catholic boy?" She scoffed and pointed to the cross that Joey always wore on a chain around his neck. "Don't you think it's a sin for you to sleep with all those girls?"

"We're not talking about me. We're talking about you."

"It's not fair! You know, I might not even go all the way if I just had a boyfriend around, but you always scare everybody off."

"That's not true. I let you date that one guy."

"That's cause Mom and Dad picked him out as a 'nice' boy. He bored me to death and wasn't half as cute as the guy I really wanted."

"Hey, cute isn't everything! I gotta look out for you."

"I can take care of myself!"

"What if you get into trouble?"

"I won't get into trouble. I'll use protection like you do."

"No! No fooling around! Wait until you're older!"

"You mean when I'm married?"

"Sure."

"Ohhh!" She folded her arms stubbornly. "Just leave me alone, Joey! If I wanna date that new kid, then I'll date him, and you can't--" She stopped when she noticed that Joey was laughing at her smugly. "What?"

Joey looked around for a moment, then whispered into her ear, "I think he's gay."

"What?"

"Come on, you didn't get that impression from the way he talks and acts?"

Mary Angela rolled her eyes, "Oh and you've talked to him for more than two minutes? I know you kept Jason and them from beating him up yesterday, but it's not like they don't try to bully everybody."

Joey shrugged and decided not to tell her of his encounter with Chandler in the parking lot. "I bet he's gay."

"Then why did he let me flirt with him?"

"I don't know. Most likely you scared him, or he didn't want to insult you."

Mary Angela didn't buy that. She'd seen the look in Chandler's green eyes, the smile on his face, and the way he responded to her teasing caress. But maybe it was a good thing that Joey thought Chandler was gay; then he'd have no brotherly excuse to be overprotective of her.

Joey looked smug and happy. "I'm sorry I had tell you, Mary Angela, but you always pick the wrong guy, you know. How about we go get a snack?"

"No!" she said. "I'm--I'm gonna go find out if he's gay." She turned and went back inside the school.

Joey let her go and shook his head with a sigh. His sister would never learn, it seemed.

* * *

Mary Angela found Chandler hanging out with Jack and a couple of other guys. They were discussing various hot girls at the high school and boasting of their own personal experience with girls.

Mary Angela knew enough to be skeptical of how many details were being exaggerated or fabricated, but she still thought that Chandler was straight.

As the group of guys broke up to go to their next class, Mary Angela caught Chandler by the arm and dragged him into the nearest girls' bathroom. Chandler gave a sort of girlish shriek, which amused her, and she pushed him into a stall, then shut the door.

He finally turned around and saw her. "Mary Angela?"

"Shh! Wait here and I'll check if the bathroom's empty." Once she assured that they were quite alone, she returned to the stall. "Okay, we need to talk."

"But--" Then the tardy bell rang, indicating that they were already late for class. "I'm gonna get detention again."

"So what?" She threw her arms around him and kissed him.

Chandler enjoyed it, but then he pulled back. "No, no! I can't. Your brother will kill me."

"Joey thinks you're gay."

"What?"

She shrugged. "I don't know why. But don't you see what this means? If he thinks you're gay, then we can be together, and he'll never suspect that we're fooling around."

"But that's lying--"

She kissed him harder and grabbed his butt, startling another squeal out of him. But then Chandler started groping her in return, and he was clearly getting excited. She smiled wickedly. "So if you want some more of this, Chandler, you just have to pretend you're gay to everybody that Joey knows, and then I'll tell Joey that you and me are just friends. We can get together whenever we want to!"

"Wait! I have to pretend I'm gay? I don't wanna do that."

"Relax, it's not like you have to work that hard to convince people. You somehow convinced Joey without meaning to. Besides, if we break up later, I'll tell all the girls that you were only pretending to be gay so that you could get closer to me."

"But then they'll all hate me. And your brother will kill me."

"No, see, the girls will think that you're dangerous, smart, and sexy. A real bad boy who'd dare to defy Joey, when no other guy would."

"But what about Joey?"

"I'll tell him it's his own fault for thinking he knows better than me. Don't worry, I'll find some way to blackmail him into leaving you alone. I'm his sister, after all."

"I still don't know about this..."

She pinched his butt and said seductively, "Maybe I'll let you go as far as Julie did. Maybe farther."

He blushed, realizing that she'd overheard his boasts to the other guys. He wasn't sure if Mary Angela knew how much he'd exaggerated or not. "Really?"

"You'll have to wait and see, won't you?" She kissed him and kept caressing the bulge in his jeans until he gave in and moaned "okay" to her plan. After messing around for a while, she let go and said that she better get to class. "I'll see you in detention."

Chandler stayed behind to get rid of his erection and straighten his clothes before he also left for class. Part of him wondered what he had got himself into, but part of him said that anything was worth having a girlfriend again.


	4. A Tangled Web

The next time that Mary Angela ran into Joey, she feigned disappointment and said, "You were right, Joey. He's gay."

"I told you so."

"But I made him late for class, so I'm gonna see him during detention and apologize for scaring him and everything."

"You are?"

"Yeah. What, you don't trust me to be alone with a gay boy?"

"It's just--force of habit, I guess. I worry about you whenever you're with a guy."

"Well you don't have to worry about this guy. I think I might even walk home with him, in fact. He said his mom's gonna be upset about him getting detention so much, so I'll just tell her that it's my fault."

"Wait, how are you gonna get home?"

"I don't know, maybe they have a chauffeur that can drive me home. Or I'll call you to come get me on the bus. It can't be that far, if he goes to school here."

"I guess."

"So anyway, just tell Mom and Dad not to worry about me being late. Say that I'm with one of my girlfriends or something."

"Girlfriend," Joey laughed a little. "I guess that's what he is, all right."

Mary Angela simply smiled and walked away.

* * *

In detention, Chandler saw Mary Angela deliberately take a seat nearby him, and when the teacher wasn't looking, she passed him a note saying, "Joey bought it. He even agreed to let me walk home with you."

Chandler raised his eyebrows and wondered if it wasn't too late to back out of this deal. He still had misgivings.

Mary Angela was released from detention earlier than Chandler, so she waited around for him to be dismissed as well. "Hi," she greeted him cheerfully, and took his arm. "So let's get out of here."

"Wait a minute," Chandler pointed out the note, "What did you mean by walking home together? Whose home?"

"Yours. I told Joey that I was gonna apologize to you and tell your mom it was my fault you got into trouble. Which it is."

Chandler frowned. "Hey, I don't think you should be meeting my mom this soon."

"It was just an excuse. I thought we could walk around the neighborhood, and I could show you the sights, and maybe we could have a cigarette like you talked about before."

"I guess so," he said.

"Yeah, and then I'll go home and tell Joey tonight that we agreed to be friends. So from now on, we can see each other all the time, and he won't care."

She seemed to have it all worked out. "But what am I gonna tell my friends? I just made those friends today, and now they're gonna think I was lying about Julie at camp."

"All those guys were lying too, or at least stretching the truth! Just say that you wanted to fit in with them, so you made stuff up. Don't worry. I know Jack and his pals; they won't stop being friends with you if they think you're gay."

"You sure?"

"Have I been wrong yet?"

"No."

She changed the subject by pointing to the black case in his hand, which obviously contained an instrument. "What's that? A flute?"

"No, it's a clarinet." He had played clarinet in band since middle school.

"Oh. Play something for me, please. Something pretty."

He thought about it, then put his books down and took out his clarinet from its case. He played a short tune for her to see if she recognized it.

Grinning, she leaned nearer and confided with a chuckle, "Oh, that's Joey's favorite song too! 'Buffalo gals won't you come out tonight, and dance by the light of the moon?' I swear, he loves that movie and always cries at the end, even if he denies it. Hey, that's what I'll blackmail him with, I bet!"

They then got into a discussion of their favorite moments from the movie _It's a Wonderful Life_, and soon they were holding hands.

Chandler really liked her. She was a lot of fun, and pretty, and a great kisser. So why not take the risk and have Mary Angela as his girlfriend? "So you wanna go have that smoke we talked about?"

"Sure." She waited as he put away his clarinet and picked up his books again. Then they left the school together.

They walked to the neighborhood park and found a fairly private bench to sit on. They chatted and smoked and even kissed for a bit. It was a great first date, then Mary Angela said she had to get home for dinner. "You want me to show you how to get to your place first?"

"No, me and my mom live just a few blocks down that way."

"Good! Maybe we can meet here a lot when we're not in school. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Okay. I'll call you." They kissed goodnight, then hurried off to their respective homes.

* * *

When Nora asked why Chandler was late again, he told the truth. "I got detention again, and then I went down to park to cheer myself up."

"You did? But for over an hour?"

"Well, I was also hanging out with... my girlfriend." Mary Angela had said she didn't mind his mother knowing about them, but Chandler still hesitated for the same reasons that he hadn't told his mom about Julie.

Nora's eyes widened and she looked proud. "Girlfriend? Oh, you're growing up so fast!"

"Yeah, well anyway, please don't talk about sex yet. I'd rather talk to the school nurse about that, if anyone."

"Oh! You little kidder!" she hugged him. "So tell me all about her! What's her name? When do I get to meet her?"

"One thing at a time, Mom! We just started going out, okay? I haven't even told her why Dad left, you know, or that you're Nora Tyler Bing, famous author of romance novels."

"Well you'll have to tell her eventually. But come on, what's her name?"

"Oh, her name is Mary Angela Tribbiani, and she's from a big Italian family. Oh, and she doesn't like being called just Mary, because she's got a sister named Mary Therese. I tried to call her just Angie or Angela, but she didn't like that either, so we're sticking with Mary Angela."

Nora was amused. "All this talk about names! Did you tell her your full name?"

"No! No way does she need to know that my middle name is Muriel! Mom, if you tell her that, I swear I will never, ever, ever forgive you!"

"So I will be meeting her someday then?" she smiled. "Don't worry, honey. I'll stick to just showing her naked baby pictures of you!"

"Mom!"

* * *

After dinner at the Tribbiani house, the kids went upstairs to do their homework, but Joey took Mary Angela aside and asked to speak with her in his room. Being the only son, Joey got a bedroom all to himself while his seven sisters had to share three bedrooms. Good thing that Joey's eldest sisters were moving out soon.

"So how'd it go with that Bing kid?"

"His name is Chandler, and it went fine. We're friends now."

"Friends?"

"Yeah, he's really nice and funny and smart. Did you know he plays the clarinet?"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, Mary Angela. He's gay, so stop thinking you're gonna convert him or something. It's not like religion."

"I know that! But like I said before, he's sort of like a girlfriend that I can talk to about stuff. Very... sensitive, you know. Besides, he's new to the school, and to Queens, and I think it'll be fun to show him around and hang out."

Joey frowned suspiciously. "You mean, hanging out around here?"

"Why? Do you think Mom and Dad won't approve of me bringing a gay friend here? Or do you mean our Grandmothers maybe?"

"I wasn't thinking about that. I was, um... Look, don't you think that maybe, just maybe, he's finding an excuse to be around me?"

"What! What does this have to do with you?"

"It's just--maybe he got a crush on me after I helped him that first day. Maybe he's using you to get to me."

"Joey, you're crazy! He doesn't like you that way."

"How do you know? Did you ask him?"

Mary Angela thought about it, then nodded firmly. "Yeah, and he said it's dumb how straight people always assume that gays want them, when they don't. It's not like Chandler's been following you around, or that he came onto me at his locker. I did that. No, Chandler wants to be friends with me, and it's got nothing to do with me being your sister. If it bothers you so much, we'll just hang out by ourselves and never come near you!"

"Mary Angela, I'm sorry! It's just--" He really didn't want to tell her about the parking lot incident, since it involved his sex life.

"What, Joey?" She folded her arms skeptically. "You're just so irresistible to guys and girls? Chandler's been making puppy-eyes at you behind my back?" She scoffed at his silence. "I didn't think so!" Then she turned and left, slamming the door behind her.

Joey tried to believe Mary Angela's interpretation of events, but there was a nagging doubt in his mind. He decided that he would have a talk with Chandler tomorrow at school.

* * *

**An explanation for the Buffalo Gals reference: In episode 213, when Joey entered the restaurant's bathroom, he was whistling a tune, and then Chandler whistled back from the bathroom stall. That tune was the Buffalo gals tune that was featured in _It's a Wonderful Life_.**


	5. Misunderstanding

When Chandler called her that night, Mary Angela melted at the sound of his voice, but she couldn't talk freely because she shared a bedroom with her younger sisters. "Oh, I'm so glad you called! You would not believe what a jerk my brother was being! Well, I'll tell you about that tomorrow, okay, because I don't want to keep my sisters up past their bedtime. Do you want to meet at your locker or something? Oh, sure I'll eat lunch with you! Okay. See you."

Dina was curious. "Who was that? Have you got a boyfriend?"

"How could I possibly get a boyfriend with Joey breathing down my neck all the time? That's my friend. Now go get ready for bed."

* * *

At school the next day, Mary Angela constantly daydreamed about her new boyfriend Chandler. The secrecy of their relationship made it seem very naughty and thrilling, but it was also frustrating. She would often pass by Chandler in the hallways and exchange shy smiles with him, but since they weren't in any of the same classes, they couldn't really stop and talk without risking that they'd make each other late again. Neither of them wanted more detentions cutting into their time together this afternoon, but it was still hard to wait for lunch.

Before lunch, however, Joey went to confront Chandler. He had no qualms about making Chandler late, so he grabbed Chandler from his locker and urged him toward an unlocked storage closet that he knew about. He kept glancing back to make sure that Mary Angela wasn't following them, then he shut the door and switched on the light.

Blinking, Chandler stood there bewildered and a little afraid. Maybe Joey had found out about the deception after all and was mad at him.

Joey glanced at Chandler and frowned. "Look, I need you to tell me something, and I want you to be honest with me. Completely honest, okay?"

Chandler gulped and backed away with dread as Joey stepped closer to him. He cowered against the wall and wondered if there was anything in this closet that he could use as a shield if Joey hit him.

Joey hesitated, staring at his feet and fumbling with his words. "Do you, um, do you... What I mean is, do you, like, want to hook up with me?"

Chandler blinked and caught his breath, feeling deeply confused. "I-I thought you were straight."

"What? I am str--" Then Joey gasped with realization and backed away. "Oh no! No, I-I-I wasn't coming onto you. I wasn't--God, I didn't mean it like that."

Chandler sighed with relief. "What did you mean then?"

Joey stammered, "Uh, I just--I was worried that you," he coughed uncomfortably, "you wanted me and was using my sister to get to me."

Chandler shook his head. "It's, it's not like that. I don't... want you."

Joey blushed and felt awkward now. "Okay, I'm sorry about this. It's just--she's my sister, and I don't want her to get hurt. I think maybe she has a crush on you, and you've got to make it clear to her that you're just friends, okay? That there's no chance at all."

"Uh, okay." Chandler felt a pang of guilt at lying to Joey, who obviously cared about his sister, even if he was rather too overprotective.

"Good. Um, that's all I had to say, so uh, sorry again." He reached for the doorknob and quickly led Chandler out, turning off the light after them.

* * *

Taking their lunch trays with them, Chandler and Mary Angela sat on the steps just outside the cafeteria so that they could talk in relative privacy.

"I just feel like I'm in a episode of _Three's Company_, and I'm Jack Tripper, pretending to be gay so that the landlord won't throw me out of the girls' apartment. Maybe it's not worth it."

"Oh, don't say that! Don't let my brother scare you. He's really a sweetheart once you get to know him."

"No, it's not fear; it's guilt. He's all trusting me to do the right thing, and I'm going behind his back and sneaking around with his sister."

"What do you mean, do the right thing?"

"This morning, he had a talk with me, and he said that he thinks you've got a crush on me and I should discourage you and say that you don't have a chance of making me switch teams."

"Oh, I can't believe him! Joey still thinks I can't take care of myself."

"I think he's just worried. Your mom and dad can't watch over all eight of you at the same time, and he's trying to help out."

"But I don't need his help. I'm not a little girl!"

Chandler felt caught in the middle and didn't know how to make the stubborn siblings see eye to eye. "Maybe if you guys tried talking things out, being honest..."

"I've tried that, Chandler! I can never get through to him. I mean, do you know what kind of stupid stuff he said to me last night? He said that maybe you were after _him_, and you wanted an excuse to see him all the time! Where does he come up with these things?"

Chandler shrugged and pensively picked at his food, still not sure why Joey believed that he was gay in the first place. Chandler had never come onto him, after all. If anyone had made a move, or seemed to, it was Joey, standing there so close and whispering a question that made Chandler tremble all over. If Joey had really been trying to seduce him, Chandler probably would have panicked and spilled the whole secret, just because he had no idea how to delicately reject Joey's advances.

Mary Angela changed the subject, "Never mind Joey! Come on, let's enjoy our lunch." She scooted nearer and playfully tried to feed Chandler little bites of food.

Chandler cleared his throat and made her behave, quite aware that students inside the cafeteria were able to see them, if they bothered to pay attention. He wondered if Joey was anywhere within sight of them, but didn't see him at the moment.

Mary Angela just smiled and discussed the details of when and where they would meet this afternoon for another date.

* * *

In the parking lot, Joey was in Angela Delvecchio's car again. He usually didn't repeat dates with girls once he'd had sex with them, but Angela had the advantage of having her own vehicle with a roomy backseat.

Besides, after the conversation with Chandler in the closet, Joey felt in need of a quickie to get his mind off the fact that Chandler had actually thought Joey was hitting on him for a second. Joey's experience with gays and lesbians was limited, but he'd generally never felt apprehensive nor homophobic around them before. Joey was not the insecure type, and he had better things to do with his time than to be critical of strangers' sex lives. In fact, like most guys, he was turned on by the thought of lesbians having sex.

But no one had ever accused Joey of being gay before. No one. How could Chandler, a guy with an obvious gay quality, misunderstand Joey like that, especially after he already saw Joey having sex with Angela?

So Joey wanted to assert his manliness with a good hard fuck. Maybe he'd even take Angela out tonight and give it to her as many times as he could. Maybe he'd do a bunch of different girls over the next few days, just to show Chandler how wrong he was.

While they were kissing and groping in the car, Angela started having second thoughts, though. "Hey, wait," she stopped Joey from pulling off her panties. "Are you sure that guy's not gonna come watch us again when we're not looking?"

"No, Vinnie saw him and my sister having lunch on the steps. If I know Mary Angela, there's gonna be a big fight to keep them busy."

"Fight? About what?"

"She has a crush on him, and he's gonna have to let her down."

"Really? Boy, your sister's really gotta be desperate to fall for a gay guy! You've gotta let her date if she's that lonely."

Joey thought about it and frowned. Maybe he really had been unreasonable. "I guess so."

"Yeah, at some point you've gotta trust her and let her grow up."

He sighed, and didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about his sister, or Chandler. He just wanted the oblivion of the sex, and he urged Angela, "Come on, we've got ten minutes left for lunch."

He kissed her hard, and Angela didn't interrupt again as they resumed having sex.


	6. Complications

That afternoon at school, Joey ran into Mary Angela and was surprised to find her looking happy and cheerful. She didn't seem heartbroken at all.

"Mary Angela?" Joey was relieved but confused.

She turned to him and scowled angrily. "Joey! I can't believe you!" She hit his arm.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You having a talk with Chandler this morning! He told me how you tried to get him to let me down easy or something!" She hit him again.

Joey backed away from her and decided to take the conversation outside, where their classmates couldn't hear them. "I was just trying to protect you, Mary Angela. You shouldn't have a crush on him if he's gay."

"How many times do I have to tell you? I don't need you to protect me. I can take care of myself."

"It doesn't look like it, when you're falling for a gay kid."

"I'm not falling for him!" she denied. "I told you, we're just friends, Joey."

"Then what are you doing touching him all over, huh?"

"What?" She blinked and worried that Joey had somehow discovered their secret relationship.

"Vinnie saw you two having lunch on the steps today. He told me that you kept hugging Chandler and whispering in his ear, even when he tried to push you off of him."

She folded her arms scornfully. "Oh! Why does Vinnie have to be such a gossip?"

"Hey, Vinnie is just being a good friend, telling me what's going on with my sister. So, what are you doing pawing that kid, if you don't have a crush on him?"

Mary Angela pouted and tried to think of something to say, but she was caught off guard. Maybe she should have been more careful about her behavior at lunch after all.

Joey felt smug. "See? You do have a crush on that kid! That's why I told him to let you down easy, but apparently you're too stubborn to listen to him. Do you know how uncomfortable you probably made him?"

"I didn't make him uncomfortable! He liked it."

Joey stared at her incredulously. "Mary Angela, he's gay! You can't convert him no matter how much you want to."

She was frustrated. "I'm not trying to--! Look, why are you so sure he's gay, Joey? You don't even know him."

"I know enough!" Joey insisted. He sighed and shook his head. "Maybe Angela was right. If you're this desperate for a boyfriend, maybe I gotta back off."

"What?" Mary Angela stared at him.

"I mean," Joey took a deep breath and spoke very reluctantly, "I mean, I'm gonna let you have a boyfriend, okay?"

She gasped in shock and disbelief. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. You go find yourself some guy to date. I'm gonna trust you."

"Oh, Joey!" She jumped for joy and hugged him. It must be a miracle.

Joey remained a little apprehensive. "But please don't move too fast with the guy. Take it slow and be careful. I don't want you to get into trouble or anything."

"I know! I'm not dumb, Joey!"

"Right, okay. But I still get to meet the guys, don't I? And warn them never to hurt you, or I'll kick their asses?"

She nodded and laughed. "Yeah, okay. As long as I can tell you to go away, and you don't send Vinnie to spy on us or something. You just worry about your own love life, Joey."

He frowned in confusion. "Worry about what? I'm doing just fine."

"Fine? You need to stop sleeping with so many girls! I think you should settle down with Angela Delvecchio. She gave you some great advice!"

"Hey, I date whoever I want to!"

"And from now on, so do I!" She giggled and hugged him again.

Joey sighed and asked quietly, "So, um, who you gonna ask out first?"

"Chandler!" she said without thinking.

"Hey, no! The whole reason I'm letting you date is so you can get over that gay kid. Forget about him."

Mary Angela frowned and realized that she had a problem. Joey was letting her date, but only if it was a straight boy. "But what if Chandler's not gay, Joey?"

Joey looked irritated. "Mary Angela, I told you! Chandler told you too. Just give up and find some other guy already."

"But what if he isn't gay? What if, um, what if he's bisexual?" She looked at him hopefully, trying to judge whether her brother would believe that.

Joey just stared at her. "I thought you asked him before, and he told you he was gay, not bi."

"Well, um, he didn't know me that well yet," she floundered, caught by her earlier lie. "Maybe he wanted to become closer friends before he said more."

"That doesn't make any sense," Joey said. "You'd think he'd admit to being straight first, and save the gay stuff for close friends."

"Well maybe, maybe you scared him, Joey. Yeah! Um, at his locker, when you dragged me away, he saw that you wouldn't let me date anybody, and he didn't want to make you angry. So then when I asked him if he was gay, he said yes, to reject me without hurting my feelings. But now that you're gonna back off and let me do what I want, maybe he'll quit saying he's gay."

"You still think you got a chance with him? Dammit, Mary Angela, you don't just need a boyfriend, you need a shrink or something!"

"I don't! I just--" She frowned and hesitantly explained, "Joey, what if Chandler was just pretending to be gay? What if he really, really wanted to date me, but he knew that you wouldn't let him, so he sacrificed his reputation just so he could see me in secret. Wouldn't that be romantic?"

"No!" Joey looked very angry. "If he did that, then he's a lying jerk that doesn't deserve you!" He grabbed her arms and met her eyes seriously, "But he isn't straight, Mary Angela. Trust me, you've gotta let him go!"

Mary Angela sighed and didn't know what to do.

Just then, the tardy bell rang, startling them both. "Oh-oh." They were both going to get detention. That was the least of Mary Angela's problems.

* * *

Chandler talked to his friends that day, and like Mary Angela had said, they didn't shun him for being gay. In fact, they were amused.

"I knew you were lying about that Julie girl at camp," Matt said. "Nobody can gain 140 pounds in one year."

"I swear, she did!"

"Yeah, imaginary girls do that," Jack said with a laugh.

Chandler pouted. "She wasn't imaginary! Come on, didn't you believe that I was flirting with Mary Angela at my locker? You were impressed."

"Sure," Jack said. "But maybe you were just embarrassed that Jason and them called you gay in front of the whole school. You were gonna try to fit in, like you said just now."

Chandler felt more and more irritated with the lies that Mary Angela had talked him into repeating. "Well, I wasn't lying about Julie, okay? I, um, I thought I was straight at first, and that's why I fooled around with Julie at camp. But then I broke things off with her when I realized I didn't like her that much." There, that fixed things. After all, Chandler's dad thought he was straight long enough to marry Nora and conceive a kid with her.

"Okay, okay."

"Sorry."

The boys changed the subject to the books they had to read for English class.

* * *

After school, Chandler went to meet Mary Angela for their afternoon date, only to find a note taped to her locker door.

"I'm sorry, Chandler. I got detention today. I'll call you tonight and tell you what happened."

Chandler was disappointed, but hoped they could reschedule the date for tomorrow. It was bad enough that he had to pretend to be gay, but if he wasn't getting any kisses and such to compensate for it, then it wasn't worth it.

Going home gloomily, Chandler greeted his mom briefly, then went to his bedroom to do some homework before dinner. Even if his mom embarrassed him with all her discussion of sex, at least she never assumed that Chandler was gay.

Chandler got up and went over to his mirror, frowning at his reflection. "Why do I look gay to some people?" he wondered aloud. "I've stopped dressing preppy, I've changed my hair, and I don't act like Dad. I've never dressed in girls' clothes or put on makeup or fooled around with the houseboy in the pool house." Then he blushed and cleared his throat. "Although I did undress my cousin Glenn a few times when I was younger, but the therapist and I agreed that I was just imitating what I'd seen my parents do to each of their boyfriends. That's all it was."

Sitting in detention, Joey silently brooded on his morning encounter with Chandler. "How could that kid think I was hitting on him? Even if he didn't hear about my reputation yet, he saw me with Angela in her car. He _saw_ me! I mean, sure, my first girlfriend was Lisa DiBatista, with the mustache, but that was before I learned how to pick up really hot girls. That's all it was."

**Chandler's cousin Glenn was mentioned during episode 711, TOW All The Cheesecakes. Lisa DiBatista is mentioned on the uncut version of 224, TOW Barry and Mindy's Wedding.**


	7. Blackmail is Not an Option

Both during and after detention, Mary Angela wrestled with her dilemma and didn't know how to explain to Chandler what had happened. Her pretend-you're-just-my-gay-friend plan had abruptly backfired, and she didn't know how to fix it. She'd always assumed that she'd have more time, both to secretly date Chandler, and to work out the details of how she'd tell Joey.

On their way home, Joey noticed her brooding and thought that she was moping about Chandler being gay. Trying to cheer her up, he started suggesting various boys that she could date instead of Chandler.

"Joey, leave me alone!"

He backed off and shrugged sheepishly. "Okay, I'm sorry. I know you wanna choose who you date, even if it's not a nice Catholic boy. Sorry."

With a sigh, Mary Angela wondered if it wasn't too late to tell Joey the truth and blackmail him into accepting it, like she'd originally planned to do. But Joey had sounded so hostile to the thought of Chandler pretending to be gay, and did she really want to get into another fight so soon, just when Joey had finally stopped being unreasonable? What if Joey got angry about the deception and decided that Mary Angela couldn't be trusted after all? Then he'd probably withdraw his promise to back off, and go back to scaring away all the guys, including Chandler. Mary Angela had only had a boyfriend for one day, and she really didn't want to go through the rest of high school alone again. But how could she keep Chandler as a boyfriend? How?

Mary Angela kept worrying all through dinner and even considered not calling Chandler tonight, so that she could sleep on it. Maybe tomorrow she could explain things in person at school, and maybe he was smart enough to help her figure out a solution to their problem. But what if he wasn't?

That night, while all the Tribbiani kids were supposed to be doing homework, Dina came back from getting a snack in the kitchen, and she looked excited. "Is it true!"

Mary Angela looked up. "What?"

"Joey's gonna back off so you can date! I overheard him talking to Vinnie on the phone about it."

"Dina, you know you shouldn't eavesdrop!"

"How else am I gonna find out anything?" she answered pertly. "Don't you wanna know what he said to Vinnie?"

Mary Angela ignored her, but Tina was curious. "What'd he say?"

Dina smiled at her sister. "He said, 'Thanks for telling me about Mary Angela at lunch, but from now on, don't spy on her anymore. See, I'm letting her date now, and she says I gotta trust her completely.' Then Joey said how he's worried that Mary Angela's all depressed about some Chandler guy."

Tina was puzzled. "Chandler?"

Dina shrugged and looked to their older sister for explanation. "Who's this Chandler guy?"

"Nobody! Honestly, Dina, you're almost as bad a gossip as Vinnie."

"Well, you're almost as bad as Joey, 'cause you don't tell me stuff anymore. You treat me like a kid just 'cause I'm the youngest."

"Yeah, me too," Tina chimed in. She was the second youngest. "We're both in middle school, not elementary!"

Mary Angela started to say that middle school still wasn't the same as high school, but Dina suddenly remembered something.

"Oh!" she squealed, "Is this Chandler the guy who called you last night?"

Mary Angela frowned and got defensive. "I don't wanna talk about it! I've got homework to do." She stubbornly turned to her textbook and tried to read it, even though she hadn't been able to concentrate on it all evening.

Dina pouted, then tried another tack. "Well, aren't you excited that Joey finally gave in? Who are you gonna date? Bobby? Gianni? That cute Irish boy Liam?"

"Our parents don't like the Irish!"

"I know! That'll make it more exciting."

"Ooh, it's so fun picking out guys."

Tina and Dina kept giggling and discussing various cute boys that they'd like to date. They also recalled the various high school boys that Mary Angela had previously mentioned to them, and Mary Angela regretted ever confiding her old crushes to her younger sisters. She grabbed her books and stormed out of the bedroom.

* * *

Mary Angela went downstairs to do her homework at the dining room table, but she found Joey there already with his own books. She asked, "Why aren't you in your room?" 

Joey looked up and explained, "Mom says I got too many distractions up there, and she wants to make sure I really study tonight instead of goofing off."

"Oh." She put down her books and joined him at the table. "Tina and Dina are gabbing so much I can't concentrate."

"Oh. Well, it won't be so crowded once Cookie and Veronica move out."

"Yeah."

They sat quietly and pretended to study, but both were too distracted.

Joey asked her, "You doin' okay, sis?"

She shrugged. "I'm fine."

"You still upset about Chandler?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now," she spoke with irritation.

"But--" Joey stopped when his mother walked by the dining room and glanced at them.

"Joey? You studying?"

"Yes, Ma."

"You better! You gotta pass that test tomorrow." Then Mrs. Tribbiani turned to her daughter. "Mary Angela, what are you doing here?"

"Just doing some homework, Ma. Don't want to keep Tina and Dina up late."

"Oh. Well, if you guys want a snack, I've got some leftovers in the fridge. We'll be watching _Law & Order_ with Grandma, if you need anything."

"Okay, Ma."

After their mother left to join her husband and mother-in-law in the living room, Mary Angela asked Joey, "So you got a test, huh?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Algebra is so hard. Who knew letters could be numbers?"

"Yeah, math is tough." Mary Angela was only in the pre-algebra course right now, but she understood. "Why's Ma all worried now?"

"'Cause my grades are so bad all the time, and I failed the last test, and I got this detention today. She thinks I'll flunk out and have to take it again next year. I'm trying to do better, but it's hard, you know?"

Mary Angela nodded sympathetically. Book smarts didn't really run in the Tribbiani family, but Joey especially seemed to struggle with academics. He would often daydream about movies or food or sex, and even when he tried to focus on the teacher, the lessons often went right over his head. He could barely maintain a passing average in most classes, and if he failed the tougher courses, he would have to repeat them, which could delay his graduation for perhaps a year or more.

"I'm sorry about the detention," she said.

Joey shrugged. "It's okay. I'm sorry about you and that new kid. I just want you to get over him."

Mary Angela frowned and wanted to avoid the whole topic. "You better study," she said, in her best imitation of their mother's tone.

Joey took the hint and tried to read his book and do the practice problems. There was a silence as Mary Angela did her homework too.

But Joey wasn't getting anywhere with his algebra, and it deeply discouraged him. He slammed his book in frustration. "Man, this sucks! There's nothing good about school except the food and the se--" Joey caught himself just in time and covered up lamely, "The snacks in the vending machine."

Mary Angela wasn't fooled at all. "Shh," she warned, in case their parents heard him from the living room.

Joey sighed and just stared at his book.

His sister suggested, "Didn't Mary Therese take this class last year? Maybe she could help you."

"No, she's busy with some big History test now, and Gina's got a science test, and Cookie and Veronica are out with their fiancés." (The eldest Tribbiani sisters had already left high school and were dividing their time between jobs and the guys that they planned to marry in a couple of months.)

"Well, I'm not in this class yet, but maybe I could see if anybody I know is taking algebra. I've got some older friends."

"Yeah, like Denise DiMarco!" Joey murmured appreciatively, forgetting that he was not in the presence of Vinnie or other guys. It was so weird being the only son in this house full of daughters.

"Joey!"

"Sorry." He sighed and wished that he had a brother, or that Vinnie would come over more often. But Vinnie had a part-time job and worked a lot after school, because he was saving up to buy a car.

Mary Angela folded her arms disapprovingly, "You'd never be able to concentrate if one of my girlfriends was here helping you study, would you? You'd be flirting with them all night, Joey."

He denied it. "No! No, I wouldn't. Not with mom and dad around. I can study!"

"No you can't."

"Yeah, no I can't." Might as well admit it. His sister knew him all too well.

"What you need is a tutor," she mused. "A guy who can help you out with your classes and homework. Don't you have any friends that can do that?"

"Well, some of the guys get better grades than me, but they tried tutoring me before, and I couldn't understand anything they were saying. So I kept sneaking off for snacks. Which reminds me--" He got up to go to the kitchen, for those leftovers that their mom had mentioned earlier.

"Joey!" Mary Angela stopped him and pushed him back into his seat. "What about your test?"

"I'm no good studying. I'm too dumb, I guess. So I might as well eat something." He got up and left, not letting her grab him again.

Mary Angela moved over and glanced at Joey's textbook, but she didn't know enough to solve his algebra problems, so she probably couldn't tutor him. But then she remembered the fact that Chandler was taking algebra; on their first date, they had compared their class schedules. He was also very smart and did well in school. That gave Mary Angela an idea.

She got up and went to the use the telephone in the hallway. "Chandler?"

"Mary Angela?" Chandler sounded nervous. "I thought you'd call sooner."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. So what happened? Are we gonna have our date tomorrow?"

"Shh!" she warned him. "My sister Dina sometimes eavesdrops."

"She does?"

"Yeah." Mary Angela kept glancing around the hallway, making sure that Dina wasn't lurking somewhere. There was a telephone extension upstairs as well, but it didn't sound like anyone else was on the line. "Anyway, um, I can't explain it all right now, but do you think you can come over tonight and tutor Joey in algebra? He has this big test tomorrow."

"Tutor him? I don't know about that. Does he even want me hanging around him, when he thinks I'm gay?"

"Don't worry, he'll be fine with it. You just come over and help him out. It might make him like you more, and you can get to know him. Please, can you do it for me?"

He sighed. "Okay, I guess. But I don't know where your house is. Can you tell me?"

"Sure. I'll tell you how to get here from the park."

"Okay, let me get something to write this down on."

Mary Angela was happy. Soon Chandler would be on his way over, then she would hang up and go tell Joey that she found a tutor for him after all.


	8. Joey's New Tutor

Mary Angela hung up the phone and went into the kitchen, where Joey was eating a meatball sandwich that he had made from the leftovers in the fridge.

"Hey, Joey, I found you a tutor."

"Whmph?" He spoke with his mouth full, spraying crumbs all over the place.

She rolled her eyes at him and handed him his glass of milk, so he could wash the sandwich down. She repeated, "I found you a tutor, and he's coming over right now."

"Who?" Joey asked, when he could speak clearly again.

"Chandler." She wondered what Joey's reaction would be to that.

"Chandler? You mean that kid you like?"

"He's my friend!" she insisted. "See, Chandler's taking algebra too, and he makes such good grades that they put him in that honors class. He's so smart he even finishes his homework quickly, and has lots of time leftover. So I called him and asked him to come here and help you out."

"Well, I don't think it'll do any good," Joey replied. "I told you that the guys couldn't teach me anything."

"At least let Chandler try, Joey. If it doesn't work, no harm's done, but if it does, you could maybe pass that test, like Ma wants you to." _And maybe Chandler will agree to tutor you regularly, so that he can come over all the time and see me,_ she thought privately.

Joey frowned and thought things over. "But wait, if he comes over here, and you're here... won't it be weird or something?"

"Why? He's my friend, and he's doing me a favor. Nothing weird about that."

"But what about your crush on him?"

"I'm fine!" she insisted, neither confirming nor denying the crush that she had on Chandler. "Look, if you're gonna trust me to date, then you gotta trust me to be mature and know how to handle stuff. Besides, Chandler's already on his way over, and I don't want to send him right back home when he gets here. It's a big dinner table anyway, so I can just sit all the way at the other end, doing my homework and letting you guys study in peace."

Joey shrugged hesitantly. "Well, if that's the way you want it... But I'm finishing my sandwich, and he can't have any." He took another bite of his meatball sub, then grabbed his milk and returned to the dining room.

Mary Angela shook her head patiently, then began to clean up the mess that Joey had left in the kitchen. She smiled to herself. At least Joey hadn't expressed any anxieties about Chandler's supposed gayness. Now she better go tell their parents about the guest they were having tonight.

* * *

When the doorbell rang, Mary Angela rushed to answer it, and she greeted Chandler with a soft, "Hey."

"Hey," he answered and wanted to kiss her, but didn't. Instead, he glanced about because he wasn't sure whether Joey was lurking anywhere within sight of them, or whether Dina liked to spy in addition to eavesdropping.

Mary Angela just smiled at him and stepped back from the door. "Thanks for coming, Chandler. You wanna come in?"

"Yeah, um, but first my maid wants to know if it's okay to park there," he turned and pointed to the car waiting at the curb, "and then she wants to know if she should come wait inside while I'm tutoring. Otherwise, she can just drive back home and pick me up later when I call her."

"Oh," Mary Angela blinked in surprise, not quite used to Chandler's family being so rich. "You brought your maid?"

He shrugged and rambled nervously, "Well, not _my_ maid specifically; she's more of a general housemaid/cook for us, and one of the few servants that my mom kept after we sublet the condo. I mean, I haven't--ahem--I haven't had a personal maid or nanny since I was this high." He gestured with his hand to show a much shorter version of himself.

Mary Angela just stared in wonder at the concept of a little kid having his own maid and nanny.

Chandler realized that he was being weird, so he quickly explained, "Anyway, uh, I brought Annie, or she brought me rather, because it was getting kind of dark, and I'm, I'm new to the neighborhood, you know, and I didn't want to get lost or anything. So, uh, about the parking and waiting...?"

"Oh, right," Mary Angela answered. "Yeah, her car's fine right there, and she can come in too, 'cause I don't know how long this tutoring will take. Joey needs a lot of help."

"Okay. I'll go tell her." Chandler returned to the maid's car, and after Annie switched off the engine and got out, they came back to the porch together. Chandler had a backpack slung over his shoulder, while the maid had on an overcoat and a bag full of magazines and stuff to pass the time with.

"Um, hi, Annie," Mary Angela said awkwardly as she let them both into the house. As she shut the door and showed them where to hang up their coats, she saw that Annie was even wearing a uniform under her coat.

Gloria Tribbiani came over from the living room, asking, "Is that Joey's tutor, Mary Angela?" Then she stopped and saw the maid as well, feeling dumbfounded.

Mary Angela introduced them, "Uh, yeah, this is Chandler right here, Ma. And this is their maid Annie, who drove him over here. She's gonna wait until he's done with Joey, then drive him home."

"Oh. I see." Actually, she was still slightly bewildered, since no one had mentioned earlier that a maid would be accompanying this new tutor.

Annie perceived the slight unease in the room and asked, "It's all right, isn't it? If not, I can just drive back home and wait there if you want."

But Gloria Tribbiani was not going to be unfriendly, especially if this tutor might be able to help Joey out, like Mary Angela said. "Oh no, that's all right. It's just that we haven't had a tutor before." She hoped it sounded more like her kids were too smart to need one, and not as though the family couldn't afford a tutor. They couldn't, but that was beside the point if Chandler was doing this as a favor and not for money.

"Please stay, both of you," she said hospitably. "Um, do you want to sit down? Have something to eat?"

"Oh, I don't want to be any trouble," Annie smiled. "We had dinner already, and I'm just here because Mrs. Bing didn't want Chandler to be scared walking home in the dark."

Embarrassed, Chandler coughed loudly and said, "So where's Joey, huh?"

Mary Angela answered, "He's in the dining room with his books. You want Annie to come along with us, or what?"

"No, I'm fine," Chandler said sharply, not wanting to appear like a child in need of a nanny. "Annie, you've got stuff to do, right?"

"Right." Annie nodded and gestured to her bag of magazines, then she turned to ask Mrs. Tribbiani, "Do you have somewhere that I can sit and read? Any old corner will do."

"Right this way," Gloria Tribbiani led the maid down the hallway. She wondered if she should ask Annie to join them in the living room to watch _Law & Order_, but perhaps she ought to give her husband and mother-in-law some warning about the guest first, so they wouldn't gape in shock either.

With a quick glance around, Mary Angela whispered to Chandler, "Hey, um, don't try to act gay or anything in front of Joey, okay? Just, um, be nice and help him with the algebra. If things work out, maybe he'll like you enough to accept you when we tell him about us dating."

"Oh, okay." Chandler nodded and followed her to the dining room.

* * *

Joey was finishing up his sandwich and milk when they entered the dining room together.

"Joey, your tutor's here!" Mary Angela announced, with her arm around Chandler's shoulders. Seeing her brother's slightly accusing look, she pulled her arm away.

Joey wiped his mouth and spoke uncertainly to Chandler, "Um, hi."

"Hi," Chandler answered.

"Go on and sit down," Mary Angela prompted. "I'm just gonna be over there, doing my homework." She went and sat at the far end of the dining table where her books were already laid out.

Chandler nervously sat down next to Joey and put down his backpack. "So, algebra, huh? What do you need help on?" He started naming various concepts from the course, not sure where the regular high school class was in relation to his honors class.

Joey frowned and looked blankly at Chandler, not understanding any of the algebra terms. He turned to his sister. "I don't think this is gonna work, Mary Angela."

"You haven't even started!" she protested. "Come on, just give it half an hour at least. Chandler, you might have to review with him some stuff, but just get him to where he can do those problems he's been working on from the book."

"Okay," Chandler answered her, wishing that she'd come sit by them, but he guessed that she just didn't want to give their secret relationship away.

Chandler looked over at Joey's open textbook, as well as the messy sheets of paper showing Joey's feeble attempt to figure out the math problems. "Oh, I see what you're doing wrong." He got out some notes and his own textbook from his backpack. "Come here, Joe, and I'll show you how to do this."

"Joe?" He blinked. No one had ever called him that before.

"What? You don't like that nickname? I'm sorry."

"Well, Joey's my nickname. Joseph's my real name."

"Oh. Sorry. It's just, you look like a Joe to me. But if you prefer Joey--"

Seeing Mary Angela cast an impatient glance across the table, Joey shrugged and said, "Nah, that's all right. Either way."

"Okay, Joe. So, your algebra..."

"Yeah," Joey sat forward and glanced at the clock. He decided that he would try paying attention for half an hour, since Chandler had come all this way on such short notice, but then he'd go make himself another snack and send Chandler home.


	9. Making Progress

Not surprisingly, Joey got distracted easily and wanted to give up several times that night, but Chandler persevered, not just for Mary Angela's sake; it would greatly relieve his guilty conscience if he could do something good for Joey. Maybe they really could become friends, and Joey would eventually be able to forgive him for sneaking around with his sister.

So Chandler strived to be friendly and upbeat, often making jokes to keep Joey from getting bored. Joey laughed a little, but kept glancing at the clock whenever Chandler wanted him to get serious and work on the math problems.

But then Chandler noticed something quite useful. On Joey's scratch paper, he kept making doodles or scribbling down sports scores, in order to pretend that he was working on algebra. Chandler noticed that Joey's favorite subjects appeared to be food and sex, and he was even making a rather detailed erotic sketch at the moment.

Chandler got out some paper too and made a dirty drawing of his own, which he then wordlessly pushed in front of Joey.

That certainly got Joey's attention. He stared at the drawing in shock, before turning to Chandler and stammering, "You--aren't you--?" Joey glanced in his sister's direction with anxiety, then wrote down on the paper, "Aren't you gay?"

Oops. But Chandler thought quickly and covered for his goof. He wrote, "Yeah, but it's not like I haven't seen sex. In movies." Chandler had actually seen far more sex live, what with the orgies and everything taking place at the Bings' pool house. But he'd learned from his friends at the prep school that mentioning his unique childhood memories often made people uncomfortable.

"Oh," Joey said out loud, then added on paper, "You saw me and Angela too." When Chandler looked confused, Joey added further, "In the parking lot, in her car."

"Oh," Chandler understood now, and felt a bit dense for not catching the reference. He just hadn't known Angela's name before. He bashfully wrote back, "I'm sorry about that."

Joey shrugged and sat back in his chair, looking at the floor. He realized that he felt uncomfortable bringing up the incident now, especially with his sister sitting within earshot of them.

Chandler worried that he had screwed things up, and he said out loud, "Uh, look, if you're not getting this, Joe, I can make you a math problem about food, if you want. Like, say x is the number of hot dogs you wanna buy, and y is the number of hot dog buns, and you're trying to plan a big picnic for like 10 or 20 of your relatives. You gotta figure out what x and y are, so that you'll have enough food, you know?"

Raising his eyebrows, Joey turned to Chandler and seemed vaguely interested. He asked guardedly, "What about sandwiches? Meatball sandwiches. Or pizza. I like pizza."

From the other side of the table, Mary Angela laughed and looked at them instead of her homework. "Now you've done it, Chandler! That's Joey's favorite topic--food." She looked curious. "Can you really explain all that algebra with food?"

Chandler shrugged. "I can try. If textbooks use word problems, why can't I? At least I'm not gonna do one of those crazy 'A train leaves Boston going 50 miles per hour' things. I hate those."

Joey sat forward and pointed to a problem in the textbook skeptically. "How are you gonna make that work?"

"Well, give me a minute," Chandler said, as he started to think about it. Then he got an idea and asked, "What kind of pizza toppings do you like?"

Joey answered him eagerly, and Chandler started to tell a story about all the possible combinations of pizza toppings that a restaurant owner wanted to offer, and the prices that he had to charge in order to make a profit. Chandler finally kept Joey's interest, and they started to make some progress with the math. Joey seemed to actually see the point of all the formulas at last, although he was getting hungry again.

Mary Angela was pleased to see them go through several more problems, but she finished her own homework in the meantime and noticed how late it was. So she packed up her books and said, "Guys, I'm going upstairs now."

They looked up and realized that they had been working steadily for over an hour without noticing the time passing by.

"Oh," Chandler said. "You're leaving us?"

"Yeah, I gotta get to bed. Do you think Joey's studied enough yet, Chandler? 'Cause maybe your mom would want you to get home soon."

"Oh, right. Yeah, I should go. Joe, I think you're doing much better now. Just keep doing stuff like this for your test tomorrow."

"Right." Joey got up with Chandler from the table, wondering if he ought to shake hands or pat his back or something. "Uh, thanks."

"No problem. Good luck on your test." Chandler finished packing up his stuff, then he asked Mary Angela to show him where Annie might be.

Joey was confused by the reference to Annie, but he didn't get a chance to ask anything because the two of them left the dining room together. Joey went to grab a snack from the kitchen, but then he wondered why he had seen Chandler and Mary Angela heading toward to the living room. To say hello to their parents? Or was Mary Angela trying to steal some more alone time with Chandler? Would she never give up?

Joey returned through the dining room and started to go down the hall, but Chandler came back at that moment, accompanied by a maid.

Gloria Tribbiani was walking them to the front door, saying to Chandler, "Thanks for helping Joey. Are you sure you don't want to call your mother first before you go?"

"No," Chandler answered. "She won't be worried as long as I have a ride."

"All right. Well, have a safe trip home. Annie, don't forget your coat there."

She smiled, "Yes, Gloria, thank you." They had progressed to a first-name basis in the living room. "You keep those magazines for now. I can come back on my day off for them."

"All right. Thank you!" She waved to them and went to the porch to watch them drive away. Then she came back inside the house and locked the door for the night. "Joey, you better go upstairs and get to bed. You need enough sleep for your test tomorrow."

"Okay, Ma," Joey answered, "I just wanna finish my sandwich first."

She patted his head indulgently and returned to the living room with the interesting magazines that Annie had let her borrow.

Joey finished his sandwich, then packed up his books and papers so that he could return upstairs. He definitely didn't want anyone to find his pornographic drawings by accident.

As he retired to his room for the night, Joey realized that the tutoring session had gone surprisingly well. Chandler couldn't work miracles or make up for months of falling behind in his studies, but he was able to get Joey to the point where he knew how to start and finish a problem, even if he didn't always get the right answer. Joey felt a lot better about algebra now. Apparently, he could learn some things, so maybe he wasn't so dumb after all.

* * *

At school the next day, Joey took the test and was actually able to finish it. His algebra teacher was surprised when Joey turned in the test with actual work done on the problems, instead of extraneous scribbles about food and sports. For effort alone, Joey would earn some partial credit, and it would be a vast improvement on previous tests. He hoped to see the same progress in Joey's daily homework, but only time would tell.

Joey wasn't sure if he should look forward to getting back his grade on the test; maybe he had still failed it. Maybe Chandler's tutoring hadn't been enough. Joey tried to pay attention as the teacher started going over the next lesson, but he found it difficult. He really wished that Chandler was here to explain things to him.

After class, Joey talked to Vinnie again.

Vinnie asked, "Are you really sure about letting your sister date?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. She has to get over that kid."

"But I should at least check on her! How else would you have known about them on the steps the other day?"

"No, Mary Angela will get mad. I gotta trust her."

"What if I ask somebody else to watch over her, somebody she doesn't know?"

Joey remained firm. "She's smart. She'll find out somehow, and I don't wanna start another fight with her. She's having enough trouble letting go of him as it is."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, last night, I needed to study for my math test, and she got Chandler to come and tutor me."

"She did?" Vinnie was shocked at this news. "Why didn't you call me?"

"'Cause I was busy studying."

"You studying? None of us could get you to do anything but eat and draw stuff."

Joey shrugged, unable to explain it himself. "I don't know, it was different last night. An hour went by, and we were still working. It was weird."

"Very weird!"

They walked to their next class. "Oh, by the way, since you cancelled that date with Angela Delvecchio last night, she's wondering if you're going out tonight instead."

Joey frowned. "What, does she think we're a couple now?"

"I guess so. That's what she's telling her friends."

"Great! Now I gotta dump her."

Before Joey could go, Vinnie caught his arm and finally had the nerve to ask him something in a low voice, "Why didn't you tell me that Chandler kid saw you having sex?"

Joey blushed and asked, "How'd you find out about that?"

"Angela Delvecchio was telling her girlfriends about it. She said that Chandler followed you on Monday and watched you guys in her car, but you didn't even hit him."

Joey said, "I-I was embarrassed and not dressed yet."

Vinnie pouted resentfully. "How come you didn't tell me yourself, Joey? How come I had to hear it from them?"

Joey shrugged. "I just didn't want to talk about it." He hurried on. "See you later."

Vinnie watched him go, feeling concerned.


	10. Break Ups

Chandler met Mary Angela for lunch again, and they went to sit on the steps outside the cafeteria.

As he set down his tray, he beamed proudly about his success. "So, I think I did good last night, huh? I won over your brother, and I think he'll do okay on that algebra test too. As long as he doesn't forget everything we covered during our cram session."

She agreed. "Yeah, it's up to Joey now. Thanks for helping him on such short notice, Chandler."

"You're welcome. I just wish that we could have had our date like we planned, you know. So can we meet in the park today?"

"Oh, um," Mary Angela hesitated and cleared her throat, not knowing how to break this news to him. "No, actually, we can't, Chandler."

"Why not?"

"Because, um, I..." she chickened out, "have to help my little sister with something."

Chandler looked disappointed and asked, "What?"

"Just some stuff for her Confirmation, you know?" She tried to change the subject. "Actually, if you're free today, then you could come over and tutor Joey again. Joey needs help in a lot of classes, not just algebra, so maybe you could do it regularly."

"Oh, well, I guess I could do that." He shrugged and put his arm around her. "As long as I still have time to meet you for our dates."

She frowned and fidgeted with guilt. "Look, about that Chandler--there's, there's something I need to tell you."

Chandler got worried and pulled his arm away. "What do you mean?"

She sighed and struggled to explain, "Well, um, there's good news and there's bad news. First, you know how Joey thinks you're gay and that I have a crush on you? He's convinced that I'm really messed up over you and desperate for a boyfriend, so he finally said that I could date, and he wouldn't interfere anymore."

"Wow! That's great. What's the bad news?"

"I can't date you."

"What?" He was shocked.

Mary Angela wrung her hands and told him, "Joey said that, that I need to get a boyfriend to get me over you. I tried to convince him that you were straight, or even bisexual, but he just wouldn't believe me. He thought I was crazy and obsessed and making it up. I'm--I'm so sorry, Chandler!"

"Well, what about your plan? What about telling him the truth and blackmailing him to accept us?"

"I can't! If I tell him the truth now, then he'll get mad about me lying, and he won't trust me at all. Then he won't let me have a boyfriend, and he'll probably get his friends to keep tabs on me even more."

Chandler was angry. "Why didn't you think of that in the first place, Mary Angela?"

"I'm sorry! I-I didn't have time to think it through, and I didn't know that Joey would finally cave and let me have a boyfriend. He's been acting like this since I was in middle school."

"So what are you saying now?" he demanded, feeling hurt. "You're gonna cave too? You're gonna break up with me and date some other guy?"

"No! No! It's just--it's just for pretend. See, I'll pretend to date another guy and get over you, but you'll keep tutoring Joey and become his friend, and then later you'll tell him that you're not gay. You were just confused before at your boarding school--"

Chandler cut her off in frustration. "I don't wanna hear anymore of your plans! It's you and your stupid _Three's Company_ plan that got us into this mess!" He pushed his tray aside and got up.

"But Chandler--" She tried to stop him.

"No buts! You're too much trouble, Mary Angela! I'm done, and I'm breaking up with you." She started to cry, but he scoffed, "I hope you're happy with your new boyfriend!" Then he stormed off furiously.

* * *

Leaving the steps and turning the corner towards the parking lot, Chandler dug into his pockets for his pack of cigarettes and his lighter. He put a cigarette in his mouth and started to light it, but this distraction caused him to collide with someone else. 

"Ow!"

"Oof!"

They stumbled and fell onto the ground in a heap, while the cigarette lighter skidded somewhere away from them.

Chandler landed on top and realized with horror that he had run into Joey. He scrambled to his feet and shouted, "I'm not gay! I wasn't coming onto you! I--"

"Chandler!" Joey interrupted. "What are you yelling for? Nobody's here." He held his side and groaned.

Chandler blinked and realized that Joey wasn't sitting up all the way, and he looked really hurt. "Are--are you okay?"

Joey shook his head and explained, "Nah, this isn't from falling down. I just broke up with Angela Delvecchio, and she didn't take it well."

"She hit you?"

"No! She shoved me against her car, and I banged on something." He winced again. "That's why I didn't see you coming, 'cause I was kind of bent over. Sorry."

"Oh. Um, sorry." Chandler stared at him and thought that Joey probably did deserve to suffer a little, what with his interference over Mary Angela, but Chandler didn't have the nerve to yell at him about it, let alone shove him. But Chandler probably deserved some censure too, for sneaking around and lying. He even felt a shred of sympathy for Joey, for his bad breakup. "I-I didn't see you either, 'cause I was lighting my cigarette." He glanced around for his lighter and dropped cigarette.

Joey remained on the ground. "Can you help me up, Chandler? I need to go to the nurse."

Chandler gave him a hand and helped him walk back to the school building.

"Thanks," Joey said. "Oh, by the way, thanks again for tutoring me last night."

"Uh, sure." Chandler shrugged and felt bitter about that now, realizing that it was part of Mary Angela's new plan.

Joey continued, "I think I did better on the test today, but I'm not sure if I passed or not. It was still hard, and then the teacher gave us some more homework today, but I didn't understand any of it. Do you think maybe you could come over and help me again?"

Chandler stopped walking and grew uncomfortable. He shook his head. "Um, I don't think I should--"

"Why not? Please?" Joey squeezed his shoulder. "I'll, uh, buy you lunch or something."

"Nah, it'd be weird now, and--" Chandler sighed and gave up, telling him the truth, "I just broke up with Mary Angela."

"What?" Joey stared at him.

Chandler gulped and realized that he better be afraid of Joey punching him now. "Um, I'm really sorry I lied to you, Joe, but it was her idea, and--"

Joey kept squinting in confusion and asked, "Wait, what? What lie?"

"I-I pretended I was gay and--"

"You're not gay?"

Chandler didn't know why he looked so shocked. "I just told you I wasn't a minute ago!"

Joey blinked. "I thought you were just scared of somebody seeing us on the ground, and starting some gossip, you know."

"No, I said it because it's true! I'm not gay!"

Joey just stared at him incredulously. "But why would you pretend you're gay?"

"It was Mary Angela's idea. You thought I was gay, so she wanted me to pretend that I was. Then we could sneak around without you hassling us."

Joey was stunned and disillusioned. "She lied to me? And you pretended--? Whoa."

Chandler frowned and felt guilty again. "Yeah. Like I said before, I'm really sorry, Joe. I shouldn't have gone along with her plan, but she talked me into it. And then today she told me about you wanting her to date somebody else, and she had a new plan, and I just got fed up! So I broke up with her, and now it's over, okay? I'm sorry."

Joey was speechless, feeling perplexed and disappointed that his own sister Mary Angela would go to such lengths to scheme and lie to him. He felt foolish and duped.

Chandler had braced himself for a punch, but seeing that Joey just stood there, clutching his side, Chandler said, "Here. I'll take you to the nurse." He put his arm around Joey's shoulders, and led him back toward the cafeteria doors.

As they turned the corner, Chandler saw that Mary Angela wasn't there anymore, but their two lunch trays remained abandoned on the steps. Chandler let go of Joey and picked up the trays, dumping their contents into a nearby trash can and leaving them stacked on the cover.

Waiting by a pillar, Joey broke the silence again. "You're really not gay?"

Chandler turned to him angrily. "I'm straight!" he insisted. "Why do you keep thinking that I'm gay, Joey? You thought this before either me or Mary Angela said anything."

Joey scratched his head and shrugged. "It's the way you act and talk and dress--"

"I don't dress like that anymore." Chandler pouted. He didn't even see what was so gay about his preppy clothes from before. It was certainly nothing like his father's flamboyant dress since he had moved to Vegas.

"I know, but--" Joey frowned and whispered, "That first day, you followed me out to the parking lot and you watched us having sex. You kept looking at me."

"I wasn't looking at you! I was looking at your girlfriend!"

Joey blinked and asked, "And you didn't follow me?"

"No! I just came out there for a smoke, and I heard you having sex, so I wanted to watch. I didn't even recognize you until you turned around and rolled down the window."

Joey realized that he had misinterpreted everything, and he apologized sheepishly, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry!" Chandler rolled his eyes. But then he sighed and calmed down, knowing that it was partly his fault for encouraging the misunderstanding. "Well, um, now that I've broken up with your sister, I'm gonna try to fix my reputation. Can you please tell your friends that I'm straight?"

Joey said, "Okay."

Chandler then put his arm around him again and helped him go inside the cafeteria.

Mary Angela was sitting several tables away from them, crying in a huddle with her girlfriends.

Joey and Chandler paused to look at her, but turned to go to the nurse's office.

However, Joey's friend Vinnie saw them together and rushed up, having just heard the gossip that Angela Delvecchio shoved Joey in the parking lot.

"Joey!" Vinnie grabbed him away from Chandler and took his best friend to the nurse.

Chandler shrugged and looked around for his friend Jack, to explain what happened and try to convince him that he was straight after all.

* * *

The nurse examined Joey's injury and could see that he was bruised but not bleeding, nor was anything broken. She gave him some aspirin for the pain, and said that she wasn't allowed to give him anything stronger. "If you want to see a real doctor, then I could write you an excuse note and call your parents to come get you." 

Joey was rather embarrassed to admit that he had been hurt by Angela Delvecchio, but he said okay, because he felt like he needed to go home and think about everything that Chandler had told him. "Uh, but can I talk to my sister Mary Angela before I go?"

"All right. We can get her out of her class."

"Okay."

The nurse started to leave, to ask the other office to send for Mary Angela Tribbiani, but she ran into Vinnie standing outside waiting anxiously. She smiled and said reassuringly, "It's nothing serious. Just a bruise."

"Really?" Vinnie rushed inside to look at Joey.

Joey replied, "Yeah, but I'm gonna go home anyway, 'cause it hurts."

The nurse said to Vinnie, "Stay here, and I'll write you a note too, so you won't get in trouble for not being in class. You should also go to Joey's teachers and get his classwork for today." Then she left.

Vinnie asked, "How does she know it's not serious? She doesn't have any x-rays like at a real doctor's office!"

Joey shrugged. "So my parents will probably take me to a doctor just to be sure."

The nurse came back then and wrote a note for Vinnie, and he reluctantly left for class. The other office had also given her the phone numbers of Joey's parents, so started to call them. "I'll try your mother first since she's closer."

"Okay." Then Joey added, "Oh, and tell my dad that it wasn't Angela Delvecchio that hurt me; it was the car!" He didn't want his dad to think he was a wimp.

"Okay."

The nurse was still on the phone when Mary Angela arrived at the office. She was still crying about the breakup, and she looked apprehensive too.

Joey told her that he was all right, then hugged her and whispered, "Uh, Chandler told me that he broke up with you."

Mary Angela sniffled. "Yeah."

"He told me everything else too. How could you lie like that?"

"How could you not let me have a boyfriend for three years? And you're the one who thought he was gay."

Joey sighed, then just hugged her again.

The nurse finished calling and noticed that Mary Angela was crying. "It's not serious! He's just bruised."

Joey said, "Oh, she knows that. She, uh, just broke up with her boyfriend at lunch."

"Oh. I'm sorry." The nurse sympathized enough to let them stay in the office together until Gloria Tribbiani arrived to pick up Joey.

"Oh, Joey!" Gloria hugged him. "My poor baby!"

"Ma!"

Gloria let go and then kissed her daughter. "Mary Angela, why are you crying like that?"

"Chandler broke up with me!"

"What? I thought he was just your friend."

Joey didn't want to get into the whole lie right in front of the nurse, so he just said, "They were secretly going out."

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey." Gloria hugged her and looked torn. "Well, I-I have to take Joey to the doctor right now. Do you think you'll be all right going back to class? I mean, your sisters Mary Theresa and Gina are still here if you need to talk."

Mary Angela nodded and said, "Yeah, and I have my friends too. It's okay. Go ahead and go. I can't miss my history test anyway." She didn't feel like getting lectured by Joey, either, which he would certainly try to do once they were alone again.

"All right, sweetie. We'll talk when you get home today. Can you get Joey's homework from his classes?"

"Vinnie's doing that," Joey told her.

"Oh, okay. Let's go then." Gloria left with her son, while the nurse gave Mary Angela a return note to go back to class.

The nurse decided to also write a note to Mary Theresa and Gina, which could be delivered to them in their respective classes.


	11. New Directions

The doctor confirmed that Joey was not seriously injured, but gave him pills and told him to rest. Gloria drove them home, then called Joey Sr. at work to tell him that everything was okay. After that, she proceeded to baby Joey and spoil him with jam, just because.

He told her that he did okay on the algebra test, but wasn't sure whether he passed it.

"Well, we'll find out when you get back to school tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Now tell me about Mary Angela's secret boyfriend. How long have they been dating?"

"Well, he's the new kid, and they only met on Tuesday. I didn't even know they were dating, but he told me today after they broke up."

"Why did they break up?"

Joey wasn't sure whether he should tell her and get Mary Angela into trouble. So he just shrugged and asked, "Didn't you think he was gay?"

"Gay? I don't know. I didn't see that much of him." Mary Angela apparently hadn't told their mom that part of her lie then. "Why? Did he seem gay last night when he tutored you?"

Joey frowned and said, "I-I thought so. There's some kind of vibe about him... but he says he's not."

"Well, we'll have to ask Mary Angela about it, then."

"Yeah."

* * *

At school, Chandler tried to convince his friends that he was really straight.

"Then why would you tell us you were gay?" Jack asked.

"'Cause my girlfriend asked me to."

"What girlfriend?" asked Matt.

"Mary Angela. It was her plan so that we could secretly date, without her brother getting mad at us."

Matt and Jack exchanged glances, still thinking that the story sounded farfetched.

Chandler said, "I got sick of it, so I broke up with her today. That's why she's been crying since lunch."

Jack admitted, "Yeah, I did see her crying in the cafeteria."

Matt argued, "That could just be because her brother got hurt."

"No, she was crying before!" Chandler insisted. "We were fighting on the steps outside the cafeteria. I bet lots of people saw us through the windows."

"All right. We could ask around," Brian said.

"Thanks." They hurried to their next class.

* * *

That afternoon, Vinnie arranged to take a later shift at his part-time job, so that he could come over to the Tribbiani house. He knocked on the door, while holding Joey's backpack. When the door opened he said, "Hi, Mrs. Tribbiani. I brought Joey's books and his homework."

"Oh, thank you." She let Vinnie inside and started to offer him a snack in the kitchen.

"No thanks. Can I go up and see him?"

"Sure." She closed the front door.

Vinnie hurried upstairs and knocked on Joey's bedroom door. "Joey?"

"Come in." Joey was lying on his bed and brooding. "Hey, Vinnie."

"Hey." He shut the door and put down the backpack. "Your homework."

"Thanks."

Vinnie sat on the bed with him. "Are you okay, Joey?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. The nurse was right. Nothing broken or anything."

Vinnie sighed in relief. "Oh, good. I was worried." In fact, he'd been distracted and anxious all day. "Can I hug you, or would that hurt?"

Joey chuckled at his cautiousness. "I told you I'm okay. Come here." They hugged warmly, but then Joey noticed that Vinnie was clinging to him rather too long. Joey patted his back and kissed his cheek before pulling away. "I'm fine."

Vinnie shrugged and tried to be casual. "So, um, did your mom try to baby you? Get you a lot of jam?"

Joey grinned and nodded. "Yeah. So anyway, is the homework hard, or--?"

"Why were you talking to that gay kid?" Vinnie interrupted.

"You mean Chandler?" Joey said, "Actually, he told me that he's not gay. He was just pretending so that he could secretly date Mary Angela."

"And you believe that?"

Joey frowned and shrugged. "Well, not at first. But he kept trying to convince me, and then I talked to Mary Angela later, so it must be true. He broke up with her, and she was crying about it."

Vinnie suggested, "Maybe he broke up with her because he really is gay."

"What?" Joey shook his head. "No, he said I was wrong. He wasn't following me or looking at me when he caught me having sex in Angela's car."

Vinnie remained skeptical. "Why didn't you punch him or anything, for sneaking around with your sister like that?"

"Because I was so shocked. And I was hurt too."

"But not your fist. You could have hit him."

"I guess. But he apologized, and it was mostly Mary Angela's fault anyway."

"You didn't hit him for watching you have sex, either. What's the matter, you like him?"

"Huh?" Joey was puzzled by Vinnie's reaction.

Vinnie got more upset. "He's not your friend. I am. You're not supposed to talk to him, or let him take you to the nurse. You're supposed to be with me."

"Vinnie--"

He rambled on, crying now, "It's not fair! He's just a new kid. I've been here for years! I help you watch out for your sisters, and I sneak you food when you miss lunch because of sex. I even work all those hours at my job so I can save money to get us a car!" He suddenly leaned forward and kissed Joey's lips.

"Vinnie!" Joey pulled back and looked at him with wide eyes. "What are you doing?"

Realizing that Joey didn't feel the same, Vinnie sniffled and lamely tried to dismiss the kiss. "I-I was just checking to see whether that kid turned you gay yet."

Joey didn't believe him, not with those tears and jealous exclamations. He touched Vinnie tenderly and whispered, "I'm not gay. I'm sorry--"

Not wanting to hear it, Vinnie just got up and said, "I have to go to work."

"Vinnie--"

Vinnie just wiped his eyes and left, slamming the door.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Bings' apartment, Chandler was hanging out with his friends Jack, Matt, and Brian.

He had invited them all to come play video games at his house, after they told him that they believed he was straight.

Unfortunately, Nora was having writer's block, so she came out of her office, and when she saw the teenagers in the living room, she decided to play "good mother" and hostess. She got Annie to bake them cookies, while she sat asking them questions about how they met Chandler, and what kind of video games they liked.

All the guys could do was drool and stare at his hot mom, and it annoyed Chandler.

Nora did ask, however, about when Chandler would bring his girlfriend home, so he told her that they broke up today.

"Oh, really? Why?"

Chandler said truthfully but misleadingly, "She said she was going to get a new boyfriend."

"Ah, tough luck, kiddo." She mussed up his hair affectionately.

"Mom!"

* * *

Joey brooded for quite a while about Vinnie's kiss. He wondered when Vinnie had turned gay and fallen for him. And why did he think that Joey might be gay too? Vinnie knew full well that Joey had been sleeping with girls for a couple of years now. He had even actively assisted.

Joey had tried to let Vinnie down easy, but this only made him more upset, it seemed. Joey didn't know what to do now.

Meanwhile, Mary Angela came home from school and rushed to her room to cry about the breakup. Tina and Dina tried to talk to her, but she threw them out for being too nosy. They had to do their homework downstairs.

Gloria put Cookie and Veronica in charge of making dinner, so that she could go upstairs and comfort Mary Angela.

Gloria hugged and kissed her. "I wish you had told me about him before. Why did you break up? Was he gay?"

"No. I, um, I did something really stupid."

"What?"

Mary Angela sniffled. "Well, um, it's only because Joey's been so overprotective since I first got boobs! I didn't have a real boyfriend all through middle school, and I didn't want to go through high school like that too." She then summed up as best as possible the events of the past week.

Gloria was shocked. "Oh, Mary Angie! You shouldn't have lied and sneaked around like that. And no guy is going to be happy masquerading as gay for long. If you really wanted to date him that bad, then you should have told me, and I could have talked to Joey."

"I didn't think he would listen to you. Joey acts like a big tyrant sometimes, saying he's got to watch me at school, because you and Dad don't know everything that goes on."

"Well, it would help if you guys would tell us!" She sighed. "I understand. Joey gets that from your dad, too. He was very protective about Cookie and Veronica when they first started dating. He wanted all the boys to be from church, and be Italian, and be scared to even lay a hand on them. I'll talk to Joey after this, and then maybe you can talk to Chandler again tomorrow?"

"Do you think I should?"

"Yeah, maybe you can try to apologize to him again. He might stay mad for a few days, but if he really liked you to begin with, you could probably win him back."

"Then I'll try. Thanks, Ma. I feel better now."

"You're welcome." Then Gloria went to talk to Joey. She found her son oddly distracted and subdued, but Joey nodded obediently and promised that he wouldn't interfere if Mary Angela managed to win back Chandler. "And if she doesn't, then you'll stay out of it when she moves on from him and finds another boyfriend, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

After dinner, Joey began doing his homework, but remained preoccupied with Vinnie. He even tried to call Vinnie, but he wouldn't answer the phone, and he had his mother say that he was busy with homework and couldn't talk. Joey sighed and said, "Well, um, tell him that I'll see him tomorrow at school. Bye."

Giving up on Vinnie for now, Joey tried to concentrate on his homework again. He managed to finish everything except his algebra, which was still too hard. Joey's mom noticed him struggling and suggested, "Why don't you ask Chandler for help?"

"Really? What about Mary Angela?"

Gloria knew it would be awkward. "Well, maybe you can ask him if you can go over to his house? Call him."

"I don't know his number. I'd have to ask--"

"No, I know it." Gloria had been calling Annie to chat.

So Joey called Chandler and pleaded with him. "I really don't understand my homework at all, and I need to get my grades up. You helped me a lot yesterday."

Chandler sighed and considered it, but then he remembered how Jack and the others had drooled over his mom. He didn't want Joey to do the same.

"Please?" Joey begged. Gloria even brought out a leftover lasagna from the kitchen and gestured at it. "I'll even, uh, bring over some food from my mom. Do you like lasagna?"

Chandler reluctantly gave in. "All right, bring over your book and stuff. I'll tell my mom."

"Okay. Tell me how to get to your house."

"Actually, I could send Annie over to pick you up, and she can drive you back. We might be working late."

"Okay, thanks."

Chandler hung up and told his mom... to stay the hell out of the living room while Joey came over. "No, you can't meet him mom! He's got work to do. And so do you. What about your next book?"

"Oh, all right. I'll stay in my office."


	12. Becoming Friends

**I've forgotten a Tribbiani sister-Gina-so I'll have to add her back into the earlier chapters. She's meant to be in high school too; Mary Angela is a freshman, Joey a sophomore, Mary Theresa a junior, and Gina a senior. (Poor Gloria Tribbiani, giving birth to so many children, one after another!)**

* * *

Annie drove to the Tribbiani house in her car, and when Joey came to the door wearing his backpack and holding the lasagna, she asked, "Is your mother home? Can I say hello?"

"Yeah." Joey turned and started to yell, "Ma!" but was interrupted by his mother rushing from the living room with some magazines.

"Hi, Annie!"

"Hi, Gloria!"

"As long as you're here, I can give these back to you."

"Oh, thanks." Annie took the magazines and put them in her bag. "So you liked the recipes in there?"

"Yeah, I copied them down and I'm gonna start trying them this weekend, after I buy groceries."

"Maybe I could stop by and have a taste?"

"That would be great. I'll call you."

Joey glanced at the clock and wondered how long they would chat.

Gloria added with a laugh, "Try to have a taste of this lasagna too, if the boys leave any." She said how long to heat up the lasagna for, then said goodbye to Annie, who went out the door with Joey.

Gloria waved goodbye as they walked down to the car, then she shut the door and switched on the porch light for their return.

* * *

The Bings' apartment building wasn't really very far away, but Joey could understand that Chandler wasn't used to living there yet, so he couldn't give good directions. And they could certainly be working on the algebra very late.

After exiting the car, Annie and Joey went upstairs to the Bings' door. Annie let them in and took the lasagna to the kitchen.

"Hey, Joe," Chandler greeted him and took his coat.

"Hey. Thanks for doing this again."

"Well, I figure that you're probably gonna have enough trouble keeping up in your classes since you were out today. Are you feeling better now?"

"Uh, yeah. It was just a bruise."

"Good." Chandler led him down the hall. "Do you want a drink or anything?"

"Nah. Maybe later when we have some lasagna."

"Okay." As they passed a closed door, Chandler whispered, "My mom's working in her office. Try not to disturb her."

"Oh, okay. What about your dad?"

"My parents are divorced."

"Oh. Sorry." Joey felt bad for him.

Chandler just shrugged and closed the subject by walking on. They soon sat down at a small dining table, and Joey laid out his homework. Chandler had his own algebra book open for reference too, and they started to work. Having figured out how to motivate Joey the last time, Chandler found it easier to explain things tonight.

When they took a break later to eat some of the lasagna, they made small talk.

"What does your mom do?"

_Drinks, writes, and boinks twenty year old guys,_ Chandler thought disgustedly. _And she embarrasses me every chance she gets!_ Out loud, he merely said, "She writes stuff."

"What?"

"Nothing important. What about your family?"

Joey shrugged and asked, "How much did Mary Angela tell you about us?"

"Oh not much really. She said you guys were a big Catholic family with a lot of daughters, and that you and her are near the middle. Mostly she complained that, because you're the only boy, you keep bossing her around and being overprotective."

Joey frowned with regret. "Oh, I guess she does hate that. Well, uh, even my mom told me to stop it, so I'll promise not to do that anymore. I'm sorry."

Chandler shrugged indifferently. "I don't care. I'm not seeing her anymore."

"Uh, right." Joey realized that he probably ought to apologize to his sister instead. Chandler seemed rather cold now, so Joey wondered whether he would eventually forgive Mary Angela or not. "But you liked her?"

"Yeah, but I really didn't want to pretend to be gay, and I felt wrong about the lying. And then after you talked to me in that closet, saying that you didn't want her to get hurt, I felt really guilty."

"You did?"

"Yeah." Chandler looked worried then. "And, uh, do you forgive me, Joe? 'Cause you just looked kinda dazed when I told you."

"Yeah, I was." Joey nodded and remembered Vinnie's complaint that he hadn't punched Chandler liked he deserved. Somehow, Joey couldn't muster up any righteous anger; maybe this was because of his own guilt about his treatment of Mary Angela. "No, I guess I'm not mad at you. I mean, unless..." He fixed a disapproving eye on Chandler. "How far did you get with her?"

"Get with her?"

"You know, on your dates. How fast did you go?" It seriously upset Joey that Chandler might have groped her or done more to his little sister, before dumping her.

Chandler blushed and stammered, "Oh, um, n-not fast at all! We-we technically only had a couple of dates. One at the park after school, and then our lunch date on Wednesday. After that, she got detention, and then I tutored you, you know. We were hardly ever alone."

"But you didn't do much when you were?" Joey pressed suspiciously. "Vinnie said that she was all over you at lunch."

Chandler cleared his throat. "Yeah, but I pushed her off, 'cause I was afraid that people would see us from the cafeteria. Which, clearly they did."

"Oh, that's right. I thought you must be gay, if you were pushing her off you. And what about the park date?"

"Well, just a little kissing and talking and smoking cigarettes. That's all." Well, actually, that wasn't all, because Mary Angela had kissed and groped him in the bathroom to convince him to go along with her plan. Chandler gulped, struggling with his guilt and with his fear of getting punched by Joey.

Fortunately, Joey believed him and smiled with relief. "Okay, that's fine. I was kind of scared that you went as fast as me. But, hey, you shouldn't have smoked with her, though. That's bad for her health!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I just thought it would make her think I was cool, not geeky."

Joey patted his shoulder and said lightly, "Well, you can work off your guilt by still tutoring me, you know?"

Chandler chuckled and nodded. "Thanks." He liked Joey. Mary Angela was right; he really was a sweetheart.

Joey laughed too and kept his hand on Chandler a little longer. He liked the sound of Chandler's laugh. It was... nice.

But then Annie came in and asked if they were done with the lasagna.

"Oh, uh, yeah."

"Thanks."

She gathered up their dishes and glasses onto a tray, then left to wash them in the kitchen.

"Well, let's get back to work," Chandler said.

"Yeah."

After another hour, they finished Joey's math problems and corrected them for mistakes.

As they packed up their stuff, Chandler said, "When you get your test back tomorrow, let me see it too, and we'll go over it. It'll help you study for your semester finals."

"Wait, tomorrow? Uh, I can't."

"You don't wanna come over tomorrow?"

"No, uh, I actually need to see my friend Vinnie. Maybe we can get together another night."

"Oh, sure. Well, tomorrow's Friday, so anytime this weekend will do. Just call me first, so that, uh, I can find out whether my mom's busy or not."

"Sure. Thanks a lot." Joey gave him a hug before going toward the door.

Chandler called for Annie to drive Joey home.

"I'm coming!" Annie was on the phone with Gloria, so she told her, "Joey's ready to go home now, so I'll see you in a few minutes. Bye!"

Soon they arrived back at the Tribbiani house, and Joey went straight to bed while his mother and Annie chatted for a while at the door. He would try to remember to talk to Mary Angela tomorrow.

* * *

The next day, Joey didn't have the chance to talk to Mary Angela alone during breakfast, so he decided to wait until lunch to speak to her.

Joey didn't see Vinnie at his locker in the morning. He worried and hoped that Vinnie hadn't stayed home from school.

Then Gianni, one of Vinnie's brothers, came to the locker and said that Vinnie told him to get his books, because he would probably be running late from church.

"He went to church this morning? Why?"

Gianni shrugged. "I don't know. To light a candle for our Uncle Sal?"

"Oh, okay. So I'll see him later?"

"Yeah, I guess. Maybe you can cheer him up, because he looked kind of down about something. I think he's worried about a test."

Then Gianni left to deliver the books to Vinnie at his class.

In algebra class, Joey got his test back, and the teacher even smiled and said, "Good job!" to him. On the test itself, he had written, "Great improvement. You really studied. I hope you take your homework seriously too. Try for a B next time!"

"All right!" Joey had passed. He felt happy, and knew that his mom would be pleased as well. So when the teacher began the new lesson for the day, Joey did his best to pay attention. It was still hard to understand the algebra, but Chandler had given him tips about taking notes, so that he would know what questions to ask Chandler later.

But after class, Joey had no one to celebrate his test with, because Vinnie had sent another brother to the locker with some other excuse. Clearly Vinnie was avoiding him. Joey felt sad, and he hoped that their friendship would survive the current awkwardness. After Vinnie's brother left, Joey wrote a note saying "I'm sorry. Please talk to me." Then he folded it and slid it into Vinnie's locker.

Heading to his next class, Joey ran into Chandler and told him the good news. "I passed the test!"

"Great! I knew you could do it."

"Thanks for your help!"

"You're welcome, Joe."

"See ya!"

"See ya!"

* * *

At lunch, Joey took Mary Angela aside, and he apologized for his overprotectiveness. "I just got worried about you, especially when I thought he was gay."

"Yeah, I know, and I guess I should have talked to mom earlier about it."

"I'll really try to lay off you now."

"Good. I'm glad that you didn't try to punch Chandler either."

"Yeah." Joey frowned and worried about Vinnie again.

Mary Angela asked obliviously. "Did he say anything about me last night?"

"Who? Oh Chandler." Joey answered distractedly, "He still seemed mad. Uh, I gotta go talk to Vinnie."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." Joey searched the cafeteria, but he didn't see Vinnie anywhere, so he asked Vinnie's brothers where he was.

The De Luca brothers said that Vinnie was spending lunch in the library. "I guess he's gotta study."

Joey pouted. "Didn't he get my note?"

They shrugged. "Yeah. What's wrong? You guys had a fight?"

"Um, sort of. Tell him I'm gonna come over today after school."

"Okay."

Then Joey sadly ate lunch with his other friends, but he kept missing Vinnie and thinking about how often Vinnie sneaked him food when he missed lunch.

On the other side of the cafeteria, Mary Angela was moping too. She had tried to be positive and optimistic earlier, but every time she tried to speak to Chandler, he just ignored her coldly.

So she sighed and sat with her friends while Chandler ate lunch with his friends.

"Maybe I just have to give him some time."

"Yeah, probably," said one of the girls.

Another friend suggested, "Or maybe you should make him jealous by dating a guy?"

"No, I think that would just make him madder."

"But he's still tutoring your brother, right? At least you'll get to see him."

"But they're not doing it at our house anymore."

"Oh. Maybe you could get Joey to talk to him, though. Tell him you're sorry."

"No, I don't want Joey to be involved. Maybe I'll have to just give it until after the weekend. Maybe Chandler will miss me, and feel differently on Monday."


	13. Joey and Vinnie Make Up

After school, Joey hurried to Vinnie's house, hoping that Vinnie would be more receptive this time, when they could talk in private. However, Vinnie's mom said that he had already gone to his job.

"What? He didn't even come home from school?"

Mrs. De Luca answered, "No. His brothers brought home his school work and told me that Vinnie was going to work early today."

Not again! Joey asked, "When will he be home? I could wait for him."

"You'd have to wait for a long time," she replied. Apparently, Vinnie intended to work late tonight, even eating dinner at work, and then he would call for a ride home. "I'm a little worried that Vinnie volunteered for too many extra hours all at once, but it's the weekend, so I guess he thinks that he'll have enough time to do his homework later. He must really want that car soon!"

"Uh, yeah." More like he wanted to avoid Joey. "Well, uh, thanks, Mrs. De Luca. Bye."

Joey sighed and went home, realizing that he shouldn't have given Vinnie advance warning that he was coming over.

At home, Joey moped in his room, thinking about the kiss again. Then he did a bunch of homework to get his mind off Vinnie.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mary Angela remained sad about Chandler, but her mother and older sisters tried to cheer her up. Gina and Mary Theresa even offered to take Mary Angela out shopping for a new dress tomorrow.

Their youngest sisters, Tina and Dina, were too nosy and gossipy, though, and Mary Angela refused to talk to them about her love life. She did her homework at the dining table again so that she could get away from her chatty sisters.

Gloria was cautious about what to tell her husband when he asked what was going on. Joey Sr. loved his family, but he had the tendency to yell and overreact about stuff sometimes.

So Gloria told him in private, "Well, Mary Angela was dating Chandler-you know, Joey's tutor-but he broke up with her yesterday, and she's sad."

Joey Sr. blinked in confusion. "Wait, why'd nobody tell me about this before? How come I didn't meet this boy myself?"

"Mary Angela wanted to keep it a secret, so that Joey wouldn't interfere. But she told me what happened yesterday, and I told her that she should have been honest in the first place."

"Yeah, she should! It's not right keeping secrets like that."

"Don't worry, Joe. She's learned her lesson and she won't do it again."

"We should punish her to make sure!"

"Her boyfriend dumped her. That's punishment enough."

"Ah, you're too soft, Gloria! That's why she thinks she can sneak around in the first place."

"No, I think that Joey was too hard on her, chasing away any boys she liked and making her desperate to have a boyfriend any way that she could."

Joey Sr. huffed and went into the garage to blow off some steam with his latest hobby intended to relieve his stress and take his mind off the fact that he was losing his hair.

Gloria sighed and knew that the stupid ship-in-the-bottle would probably just frustrate him more, until he stomped back inside and watched TV with Grandma in the living room.

* * *

After dinner, Joey took his turn to wash the dishes, then returned to his bedroom and paced around anxiously. Was Vinnie only avoiding him for now, or was he ending their friendship for good? Vinnie was his best and oldest friend, and Joey hated the thought of losing him.

Joey pouted and sat on the bed. How could he fix this mess? Go show up at Vinnie's job? But then Vinnie would probably just work and refuse to take a break to talk to him. Could Joey go to his house early tomorrow instead and surprise him? Or would Vinnie just lock him out of his room, or pretend to be sick? Would he keep using his family as a shield? There must be some way to get through.

Even after he went to bed that night, Joey lay awake and still missed Vinnie terribly. He fell into a fitful sleep, even dreaming about the kiss, but then he woke up and stared at the ceiling, feelilng lonely. When he glanced at the clock and realized that Vinnie must surely be home by now, Joey got up and made a decision. He quietly dressed in the darkness. Then, after checking that the rest of Tribbianis were asleep, Joey got a flashlight and his house keys.

Putting on a coat, Joey sneaked out of the house and walked to the De Luca house in the same neighborhood. When they were kids, they would sometimes climb the trees and go in and out of Vinnie's room. He just prayed that Vinnie hadn't locked the window, and that he hadn't grown too heavy for the branch to hold him now.

Trying not to wake anyone, lest he be mistaken for a burglar, Joey carefully climbed the tree, and peered into Vinnie's window. He was lying in bed and turned away, so Joey tried the window. It opened, so Joey slid it up and crawled inside.

Then Joey shut the window and took off his coat. He could hear Vinnie stirring from all the noise, so Joey climbed onto his bed and hugged him. "Vinnie, it's me."

"What?" Vinnie opened his eyes drowsily, then gasped. "Joey!"

"Shh!" Covering his mouth, Joey listened to make sure that no had heard them, then he got off the bed and locked the door. Coming back, he whispered, "I'm sorry I woke you up. I just had to see you."

Vinnie sat up and watched his face cautiously. "Why?"

"'Cause you've been avoiding me since yesterday, and I miss you!" He pulled Vinnie close, but Vinnie misinterpreted this and tried to kiss him again. Startled, Joey pulled back and let go of him.

Lying back down, Vinnie turned away and cried. In his dreams, when Joey came to his room like this, he was naked and kissing him. In his dreams, when he kissed Joey, they fell to the bed and made love.

Joey frowned and touched his shoulder. "Vinnie, I thought you knew, from what I said before-"

"Go away," Vinnie told him curtly, then pulled the blankets over his head and moaned.

Joey leaned close and hugged him, trying to pull the blankets down. "Vinnie, don't cry. It's okay. I-I don't care that you're gay. We can still be friends."

"No, we won't. You'll be friends with him!"

Joey sighed and couldn't understand his jealousy. "Chandler's just tutoring me, Vinnie. And even if we were friends, so what? I got other friends, and you don't mind them. Don't we hang out with the Cardellini brothers a lot?"

"Yeah, but they're not gay."

"Chandler's not gay."

"Yes, he is! I can tell. He looks at you, and touches you, and calls you 'Joe,' and you like it. You like him."

"Vinnie, no. And I'm not even gay. I wouldn't kiss him or anything."

Vinnie swallowed and pulled down the blanket to look at him. "But-but maybe he'd kiss you. Maybe he'd get you to like it, like he got you to like math."

"I don't like it! I just wanted to pass the test for my mom."

"Then why'd you beg him to tutor you again? You went over to his house last night, even though he'd just broken up with Mary Angela. I heard that you brought a lasagna too." Vinnie had kept up with the gossip grapevine at school, even while avoiding Joey.

"Vinnie, I just needed help with my homework. I have to do better from now on, or I'll fail the whole class and have to re-take it."

Vinnie spoke bitterly, "I tried to tutor you once, but you just goofed off. How come you got serious for him?"

"I don't know. He's smart, and he tells jokes, and then he made up these stories about food and junk so I can understand it better. That doesn't mean I like him better than you, Vinnie. Plus, you got to work all the time, so you wouldn't be able to help me every day."

"You're going to see him every day?" Vinnie cried even more.

"No! No, not every day." Joey hugged him again and tried to soothe him. "I didn't even see him tonight, 'cause I wanted to see you, Vinnie. I wanted to see you all day. Please, can't we still be friends? I love you." Then he quickly added, "I mean, like a brother. You're like the brother I always wished I had, you know?"

Vinnie didn't find that comforting. "I don't wanna be your brother. I got brothers."

"I'm sorry." Joey frowned, then caressed Vinnie's cheek and offered, "But look, if-if I were gay, it'd be you for sure. No contest."

Sighing at his touch, Vinnie sniffled and met his eyes. "You sure you're not?"

"What?" Joey blinked. "Come on, Vinnie, you know I slept with all those girls-"

"That's because it's a sin. It's a sin to be a fag." Vinnie knew that well enough when he went to church this morning to confess the kiss, but he had chickened out and just silently prayed for his soul. "That's how come I never kissed you before, even though I wanted to all the time. Even though sometimes I thought that you wanted me too."

Stunned, Joey wondered when and how he had given Vinnie the impression that he wanted him. Was it his hugs and smiles? The occasional kiss on the cheek? He thought that he was just being brotherly and affectionate.

Vinnie sadly touched the cross that Joey wore on a chain, and he whispered, "I-I fight the sin by working so much, and you fight it by doing those girls."

Joey's eyes widened, and he gulped. "I-I thought you just wanted a car."

"I wanted it for us," he said. "So we could drive away from here. Maybe go to Manhattan or something. Or we could sit in the park, and you'd talk dirty to me..."

"Talk-talk dirty to you?" Joey was confused.

"You know." Vinnie shrugged suggestively. "You even draw me pictures sometimes."

"You mean, um-?" Whoa! All those pornographic sketches that he'd given to Vinnie. Joey had used them for illustration purposes when bragging about each of his sexual conquests. "But I was just describing-"

"Everything," Vinnie answered wistfully. He nodded and laid his head on Joey's shoulder. "You tell me everything you do with those girls. Every detail, every time, and it's like I'm almost there with you-like you want me there. I can imagine how you'd kiss me... what you'd say... and do to-"

"Vinnie!" Joey blushed deeply and pulled away from him in shock.

Vinnie finally snapped out of the fantasy, realizing that he'd shared too much. He was hurt by the look in Joey's eyes. He asked with a sob, "How come that kid gets to watch you have sex, and I don't?"

"I didn't know that you wanted to watch!" Joey replied. "I-I never thought that you were... thinking about me that way, Vinnie. I thought that you just wanted to hear about the girls. That you liked girls. I like girls."

"Really? You really want them, Joey?"

"Yeah, I do."

Vinnie frowned and looked puzzled. "But you don't love them. Not even Angela Delvecchio, who you actually talked to like a person."

Joey shrugged. "So what? I'm fifteen. I just wanna have sex. That's what high school's for-parties and sex."

Vinnie said nothing, feeling disappointed.

Joey asked him, "When did you turn gay, Vinnie? Didn't you used to like girls? You went on dates too, remember? And you told me you did stuff."

Vinnie winced with distaste. "I-I tried doing it with girls a few times, but I didn't like it. I just couldn't picture you. And then I stopped dating."

Joey frowned and finally realized that it had been several months since Vinnie's last date. "I thought that you just didn't have time anymore, because you were working so much, you know? And I thought you wanted a car so you could do girls in the backseat."

Vinnie shook his head. "No. No, I wanted you, Joey." Realizing that they'd go to hell for that sin, he said, "Or-or I wanted you to do those girls and tell me about it."

Joey said, "I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Vinnie asked doubtfully, "You still wanna be friends now?"

"Sure! Of course. I don't wanna lose you." Joey hugged him reassuringly. "But, um, maybe I need to stop telling you about the sex stuff?"

Vinnie pouted and complained, "But you let him watch you with Angela Delvecchio!"

"Vinnie! I didn't _let_ him. He snuck up on us, and I didn't even know he was there until I turned around."

"You should've kicked his ass!"

"I wasn't dressed yet, and I was afraid that he was staring at me."

"He _was_ staring at you!" Vinnie insisted. "And-and you want him too, don't you? You like him and talk with him and laugh with him. You've only known him a week, but you believed him about not being gay, and you didn't hit him about Mary Angela. You treat him like he's your friend."

"He's not-"

Unconvinced, Vinnie stubbornly shook his head. "That-that kid doesn't know you like I do, Joey! I know you better than anybody. I know the combination to your locker. I know that you used to have an imaginary friend named Maurice."

"Yeah." Joey chuckled at the memory. "He was a space cowboy."

"I know you like jam so much because your mom used to drop you off at the movie theatre with a jar of jam and a spoon. I know that she buys you big shoes that you'll grow into, but you're always afraid that somebody will find out how small your feet really are. I know you don't really want to go into the family pipe-fitting business. You wanna be an actor, like your hero, Al Pacino. I know you."

Joey nodded and smiled. "Yeah, of course you know me. You're my best friend." He nuzzled Vinnie tenderly and kissed his cheek again.

Vinnie sighed in his arms and closed his eyes.

"Nobody could replace you, Vinnie. Nobody."

They silently embraced for a while, until Joey finally worried that he was encouraging Vinnie's feelings, so he gently let go and got up. "I-I gotta go home now." He put on his coat again and whispered goodnight as he sneaked out. Vinnie watched him go, then shut the window again.

* * *

On Saturday morning, Joey called Vinnie, and was pleased to hear him finally answer the phone.

"Uh, hi, Joey." Vinnie still sounded sad, though.

Joey asked him, "Did you sleep okay?"

Vinnie sighed and spoke listlessly, "I-I guess. I missed you."

Joey frowned. "Listen, you didn't promise to work today, did you? Maybe you could come over and hang out with me. I still got some homework to do, and I bet you didn't get to do yours last night."

"Nah, I didn't. Well, okay, I guess I'll tell my mom and bring over my books after breakfast."

"Sure. See ya."

After breakfast at the Tribbianis' house, Gina, Mary Theresa, and Mary Angela went out shopping together. Cookie and Veronica were still making their wedding plans, so they needed to meet with their parish priest and their fiances.

Joey told his mom about his plans with Vinnie, so she had Tina and Dina help her buy groceries and cook her new recipes. Annie had promised to come over later that afternoon, during her time off from the Bings.

Joey Sr. talked to his own mother and resigned himself to getting a toupee, because lately the family pipe-fitting business seemed to be losing work contracts to businesses staffed by younger people.

When Vinnie arrived, Joey hugged him and took him upstairs to his room. They did their homework on the bed, and Vinnie also wanted to help Joey do his algebra. "Then you won't need that kid to tutor you anymore."

Joey said, "But Vinnie, you don't have time to tutor me regularly. Don't worry so much."

Vinnie insisted that Joey didn't need to see Chandler this weekend, at least. So he tried to explain the new algebra lesson to Joey, but Joey still had trouble, even with his notes.

"I don't think this is working."

"You're not even trying! You just wanna see that kid, 'cause you like him!" Vinnie shoved his book and cried.

Joey hugged him close and quieted him. "Vinnie, come on. Chandler's not my friend. He's just helping me out. If I pass this class, then I won't have to repeat it in summer school or graduate later than you. It means we can be together."

Vinnie calmed down and tried to accept that reasoning. But he still clung to Joey, and they lay down on the bed for a while, like they had last night.

When the smell of hot food floated up to them, they went downstairs to eat. Joey saw Annie chatting with his mom again, so he told Vinnie that she was the maid for the Bings.

"He's not here too?" Vinnie asked unhappily.

"Nah. I gotta call him later and ask him to go over my algebra test with me."

Vinnie pouted, but continued eating. Joey sat with him and avoided mentioning Chandler again until after Vinnie went home.

* * *

**I promise, there will be lots of Chandler in the next chapter.**

**I am not trying to portray Joey Sr. as a bad husband or father. I am taking a cue from Gloria's assessment in episode 113: "Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling. Nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy. Not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing! Now, he's happy. I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby." (Also, I'm estimating based on Joey's age that Joey Sr. will not start having an affair for another four or five years.)**


	14. Like Normal

**Despite his Catholicism, Joey has said that he didn't believe in an afterlife--or maybe it was just psychics and spirits returning to loved ones? During 108, he responded to Phoebe's talk about sensing the spirit of her friend Debbie with "Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food!"**

* * *

Joey called Chandler and asked if they could have a tutoring session after dinner.

Chandler agreed to this and sent Annie over to pick him up again.

At the dining table, Chandler helped him correct his test, then went over his algebra homework. "Oh, good, you took notes from your lesson, Joe."

"Yeah, but I didn't understand a lot of it."

"It's okay. Let's go over your questions."

They worked on the math for a while, then stopped to have a snack, and Chandler took a smoking break out on the balcony.

When Chandler came back inside, Joey retrieved a book from his bag and asked him hesitantly, "Hey, uh, would you mind tutoring me in English lit, too, Chandler? I mean, if you have time after the algebra."

"Oh, sure. Or if it takes too long, we could meet on Sunday I guess. What is it? You have to write an essay?"

Joey shook his head and showed him the book. "Nah, we have to read, uh, _Romeo and Juliet_, and have a quiz next week. I mean, even with the teacher explaining it, I don't get Shakespeare at all! I tried reading my older sisters' notes, and I tried to watch the movies like I do with other hard books in class. I even tried to read it! But I still couldn't understand it."

Chandler laughed and patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Aw, it's okay, Joe. Shakespeare's hard to get at first. He's using such an old kind of English, and so much poetic imagery, that it's practically another language. Don't feel bad."

"Thanks." Joey felt somewhat hopeful. "So you think that I'm not too stupid for you to help me get this?"

"No. I mean, even I had trouble the first time we did a Shakespeare play at my boarding school." He frowned because his classmates often made him take the female parts when they read lines. "Maybe we just need to go over this line by line, Joe. Which act are you on right now?"

Joey showed him where they had stopped in the book. "And the teacher said that she made sure that the quiz questions weren't covered in the Cliff Notes, so we couldn't cheat."

"You won't have to cheat. We'll go over it together, and then I'll help you make some study notes, okay?"

"Okay."

They went back to doing the algebra, and when they finished, they agreed to meet on Sunday afternoon.

"See ya, Joe."

"See ya. Oh, and bring over the movie versions that you watched the next time."

"Okay."

* * *

After Annie drove him home, Mary Angela curiously asked Joey whether Chandler had mentioned her. "Uh, no. I'm sorry."

She sighed and went to bed.

Joey went to his room and called Vinnie on the phone.

Vinnie was upset to hear that Joey had asked for another tutoring session. "You didn't even ask me to go over Shakespeare with you!"

"Vinnie, it's too hard and it would take too long to go over! Besides, he gets better grades than both of us, so I think he can help me get good enough grades to raise my average. I've been failing on the other Shakespeare quizzes before, you know. I gotta pass."

"I guess." Vinnie still felt insecure. "At church tomorrow, will you come sit with me?"

"Sure." It was always crowded on the Tribbiani pew, so Joey had sat with the De Lucas before.

"And--and it's okay if we share a Bible?"

"Sure." Joey told him, "I-I don't think that you got gay cooties or anything. You're still my friend. We can be like normal."

"Normal." What he wouldn't give to be normal sometimes. Vinnie wished that they could do more than just sit together and share a Bible. He wished that they could hold hands or hug each other. But of course their families would see them, as well as the priest and the rest of the churchgoers. Sometimes Vinnie felt that the clergy could see the sin in his eyes, and that their sermons were directed specifically at him.

Joey said supportively, "I-I don't think you're going to hell, Vinnie. You're a good guy, and you're not hurting anybody."

Vinnie tried to believe that, but he often imagined sinful things, especially when jerking off in his room or in the shower. He even fantasized sometimes that he and Joey got naked in his bed and compared the size of their penises, and soon they ended up groping each other and kissing. He had a very dirty imagination, fueled by the pornographic sketches that Joey gave him. Were these private acts on the same level of sin as sleeping with a guy?

More importantly, would it creep Joey out if he knew about it? Joey had said that he wouldn't talk about sex with him anymore. Vinnie finally said, "But I kissed you."

"So what? It was just a kiss. Come on, I don't think I'm going to hell either for sleeping with all these girls before marriage." Joey even confessed, "Sometimes I don't think there's even a heaven or hell. Sometimes I think that we just die and end up as worm food."

"I don't like that either," Vinnie said.

"I'm sorry." Joey realized his insensitivity. "My point is that someday you'll meet a nice guy and you'll do more than kiss him. You'll be happy then, and I'll be happy for you."

Vinnie didn't want to picture himself with someone else. He still loved Joey desperately. "Will--will you come see me at work too?"

"Sure, Vinnie." They finally said goodnight and went to sleep.

At church the next morning, they sat close together, and sometimes Vinnie brushed Joey's hand as they held the Bible together. Vinnie needed that touch to give him strength. He needed even more than that, but Joey said he wasn't gay. They would never kiss again, and Joey probably wouldn't come back to his room at night, either.

After church, Joey walked him home and hugged him in his bedroom. "You're all right?"

Vinnie shrugged and asked, "Stay for lunch?"

Joey said okay, and started to loosen his tie; he didn't want to make a mess of his Sunday clothes, with the way that he ate. "Can I borrow your clothes?"

"Uh, yeah." Vinnie got some casual clothes for him to change into, but stared at him, now that he was unbuttoning his nice white shirt.

Joey blushed and belatedly realized that he shouldn't change clothes in front of Vinnie anymore. So he re-buttoned his shirt. "Uh, maybe I should go and let you change first. I-I gotta go call my mom, anyway, and let her know I'm staying here for lunch. I'll come back and change after you're done, okay?"

"Okay." Vinnie hung his head and held back his tears, realizing that they wouldn't behave "like normal" anymore. Maybe they wouldn't even go swimming together, or go camping, or play wrestle.

Joey left the room, and wondered with a frown whether Vinnie had ever stared that intently at him before, and he'd just been too blind to notice. Was that why Vinnie thought Joey was gay, and wanted him too?

At lunch, Joey sat with his arm around the back of Vinnie's chair, trying to be friendly and show that he was still comfortable being around him. Joey also complimented Mrs. De Luca on her cooking, and tried to chat like normal. After the meal, he got up from the table and helped clear the dishes. Then he told Vinnie, "I'll go change upstairs and leave your clothes on the bed."

So Vinnie waited downstairs for him. Joey hugged him at the door and whispered, "Don't worry," again before he went home.

After Joey left, Vinnie returned to his bedroom and noticed that Joey had forgotten his tie. Vinnie held it against his face and smelled it. Then he lay down and cried, wishing Joey could love him too. At the very least, why couldn't he stop seeing that tutor?

* * *

That afternoon, Chandler led Joey into a different room than usual; it was a den, with a big TV and VCR. "You can put your books over there, and we can watch the videos while we go over the play."

"All right. But they're so boring and confusing; I fell asleep during them."

"Don't worry. We'll just watch a few minutes at a time, and follow along in the book too."

So Chandler put the first video into the VCR and played a little bit of it. He paused it several times to read lines with Joey. Chandler explained to him why the characters behaved the way they did, and what they meant when they delivered soliloquies and asides. He even explained the sexual innuendos in the some of the bawdier lines.

"Whoa! You mean it's dirty?"

"Yeah. Sometimes." Chandler smiled and knew that he could hook Joey's interest through the sex, as well as the fight scenes. He even talked about how the feuding Montagues and Capulets were trying to keep Romeo and Juliet apart, and that was why they had to go to such crazy, desperate measures. "Like when Mary Angela came up with that scheme so we could date."

"Oh." Joey frowned and wondered whether it was indelicate to bring up the subject of his sister. "You, uh, you're still mad at her?"

Chandler nodded. "I mean, protective families are one thing, but you're her brother, not her mom or dad. I-I wondered why she couldn't just talk to you, Joe, and work things out. I guess I don't understand brothers and sisters, because I don't have any."

"You don't, do you?" Joey hadn't seen any other kids in the apartment, but the idea of having no siblings at all was so foreign to him that he thought it possible that Chandler had other siblings who were old enough to be at college now or who lived with their dad.

Chandler confirmed, "Nope. Not a one."

"Any cousins?"

"Oh, a couple, but I don't see them or live with them. What's it like, to have siblings?"

Joey shrugged and said, "It's crowded all the time. I'm lucky, because I'm the only boy and I get a room to myself, but when I was younger, I had to share more. I had to help change diapers and babysit for my younger sisters. And when we were at school, I felt like I had to protect them and watch over them, because there's so many of us, and it's hard for my mom and dad to keep up with everything that goes on."

Chandler nodded. "Yeah, it'd be hard with eight kids. So anyway, that's why Romeo and Juliet are coming up with this scheme, and getting secretly married and stuff."

They returned to discussing the play, and Joey wondered why the lovers would get married so soon. "He didn't get her pregnant did he? Did they have condoms back then?"

Chandler shrugged and smiled. "I don't know." As he explained more sexual jokes in the text, he accidentally made a slip that revealed that he was a virgin, having more theoretical knowledge about sex than practical experience.

Joey blinked and looked at him in a new light.

Embarrassed, Chandler looked away and coughed, trying to pass it off as a joke. "No, uh, I was just kidding. I heard that joke from--from a guy who..."

Joey reassured him, "It's okay, Chandler. I mean, you've been in an all boys' boarding school before now, right? Was Mary Angela your first girlfriend?"

"No." Chandler told him about his camp girlfriend Julie, making sure to emphasize that he did not get nearly as far with Mary Angela. "That's why, when my mom said that I was going to a regular school now, I got excited." He blushed. "I mean, not that excited! I mean, I-I wanted to meet girls."

Joey smiled. "I'd go crazy without girls too. The best part of school is the sex."

"I-I'll take your word for it."

Joey almost offered to fix up Chandler with girls and give him sex advice, but then he realized that Mary Angela was still hoping to make up with him. She would take that as interfering. So he just shrugged and asked Chandler another question about the play.

Chandler was glad to change the subject.


	15. A Broken Promise

**I realized that I never indicated just when Vinnie found out about Chandler seeing Joey have sex in the car. Joey clearly didn't want to tell him about it, or even discuss Chandler, in chapter 3, yet he's not surprised that Vinnie knows about it in chapter 11. Therefore, I've added a brief conversation about it at the end of chapter 9.**

**Also, I changed the name of Vinnie's uncle to Vito, to avoid confusion with Joey's uncle Sal, who was mentioned in the episode 206, TOW The Baby on the Bus. Sal has a really big tongue and a beautiful wife.**

* * *

Joey's tutoring session with Chandler ran long, and only after Chandler took his third smoking break did Joey realize that he had neglected to visit Vinnie at work today, as he had promised. "Oh no!"

With a gasp, Joey made hurried apologies to Chandler and began packing up his books and notes. "Uh, I'll call you tomorrow or something so we can get together."

"Sure, Joe. Uh, do you want me to keep the videos here for next time?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Chandler then called out for Annie to drive Joey home.

As they left, Chandler stood smoking on the balcony, and he waved goodbye to them on the street below.

In the car, Joey asked Annie, "Hey, uh, can you drop me off at my friend Vinnie's house instead? It's just a couple of blocks further. Then maybe you could bring my backpack to my house and talk to my mom for as long as you want."

"If his house is that close by, then what's the rush? You can go there after you drop your stuff off."

"Yeah, I know, but I'm--I'm already running real late, and if he sees me coming ahead of time, he might lock me out or something. Please? It's really important, and you like hanging out with my mom, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. Well, all right, Joey. I guess I can explain it to Gloria."

"Thanks." So Joey directed her to Vinnie's house, and minutes later, they pulled to a stop at the curb. Getting out of the car, Joey thanked Annie again, then ran up to the house while she turned the car around and headed back to the Tribbiani's home.

He knocked on the front door and asked Mrs. De Luca worriedly, "Is Vinnie home? He didn't stay late again?"

"No, he came home a while ago, but he looked very upset and slammed the door. I asked him what was wrong, but he just mumbled something about being mad at you and asked if you had called. Then he went straight to his room and hasn't come out since."

Joey felt even more guilty than before. "Oh. I-I better go up and apologize to him."

"Okay." She let him in, but still wondered what fight they must have had today, after a peaceful morning.

Joey ran upstairs and knocked gently, before trying the doorknob. He was relieved that Vinnie hadn't locked it, so he opened it and cautiously peeked into the room.

Vinnie was softly crying on the bed, and he didn't turn around when Joey murmured, "Vinnie? It's me."

Coming inside, Joey shut the door and climbed onto the bed with him. "Hey, Vinnie, I'm sorry..."

Vinnie pulled away from him angrily. "You forgot me! You just forgot me!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. I-I just lost track of time 'cause Shakespeare takes forever to understand, you know."

Vinnie pouted and cried. "You didn't even call me! I waited and waited for you."

Biting his lip, Joey could picture Vinnie at work, growing more and more disappointed as he watched the clock, then finally ending his shift and taking the bus home, alone. "I'm really sorry," he repeated, "but I'll make it up to you, Vinnie. I mean, I'll come see you at work tomorrow, and we'll hang out then, okay?"

"No, you'll just forget and see him instead."

"Vinnie!" Joey felt frustrated and tried to hug him again, but got rebuffed. Just then, he noticed that Vinnie was clutching something in his hands. "Is that my tie?"

"You forgot it today. Just like you forgot me!"

"I'm sorry!" Joey felt slightly concerned that Vinnie was crying on and messing up his tie, but he decided that it wasn't important right now, and was his fault anyway. "Look, I know I screwed up today, but can't you forgive me please? It was a mistake, and I'll never forget you again."

Vinnie shook his head and no longer trusted Joey's promises. "I bet you were having a great time with that kid! He got you to like Shakespeare, didn't he? Did he act out the kissing scenes with you?"

"Vinnie!" Joey quickly hushed him and hoped that no one in the house had overheard the wild accusation. "No! No, it was all work, I swear. Chandler was just tutoring me, not coming onto me. I told you, he's not gay."

Vinnie still doubted that and moaned, "You never forgot me before, Joey. Not until _he_ came along!" He sniffled miserably. "You barely know that kid. Why do you like him more than me?"

"I don't! I don't like him--or anybody--more than you. I-I was just concentrating so hard on trying to get Shakespeare, you know, that I forgot to check the time, that's all. I'm really sorry, Vinnie, but I'm here now. Please forgive me."

Vinnie finally turned to him with a softer look on his face. He met Joey's eyes and whispered sadly, "I wish I could tutor you, and then you wouldn't need him."

"I know." Joey nodded and sighed. "I mean, I'd like that too, but you already tried to tutor me before, remember? We just ended up eating some snacks and goofing off in my room. It didn't work with our other friends, either. I don't know why Chandler's good at tutoring me. He's just smart I guess and helps me not get bored. But you don't need to be jealous like this. It's not a competition, and he's not even my friend!" Joey touched his cheek and spoke tenderly, "You're my friend, Vinnie. My best friend. I love ya."

The words touched Vinnie, but he still wished that Joey loved him as more than a friend or surrogate brother. But apparently he wasn't gay. After a pensive sigh, Vinnie finally let go of Joey's tie and opened his arms for a hug.

Joey hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek in relief. "You forgive me?"

Vinnie nodded, and asked shyly, "You won't forget me anymore?"

"No, I promise, Vinnie. I'll be real careful from now on. And I'll give you the number, so you can always call me if I for--" He stopped when he saw Vinnie frown. Then he realized that he was implying that he _would_ forget again. "I mean, um... I'm sorry."

Vinnie nuzzled against his shoulder and tried to have faith anyway. "When's the next time you have to see him?" Maybe he just needed to schedule things on different days.

"Um, I don't know. I left there in a hurry, and we weren't really done. I'll have to call him tomorrow about finishing up Shakespeare, and I'll probably have more algebra homework by then too."

"Oh. But we can still see each other sometime? You won't be with him every day?"

"No, probably not, and I won't stay late. Don't worry, Vinnie. We'll still have plenty of time to hang out. We'll see each other at school and at home and at church, and I'll come visit you at work too."

"Okay." Vinnie still looked worried, though. "But you'll probably miss lunch sometimes and go on dates with girls?"

"Oh. Yeah." Joey frowned and thought about it, wondering whether he ought to take a break from dating for a while, what with his bad breakup with Angela Delvecchio. But maybe cutting back on sex would give Vinnie the wrong idea, encouraging his mistaken notion that Joey was gay?

Vinnie said quietly, "It's okay. Just--just tell me you don't like him. You won't let him kiss you or watch you have sex again?"

"Of course not!" Joey sighed, then he got an idea. "Come on, why don't we make some time for us this weekend? Yeah, you could get off work and we could do something special, Vinnie. I mean, you said that you wanted to go to Manhattan, so maybe we could take the train out there and have fun. You know, see the sights or hang out at the park. Maybe you wanna see a movie too, or, uh, go to some show on Broadway?"

"Broadway?" Vinnie pulled back from him and looked surprised. "Why would we go there? You wanna meet some actors or something?"

"No, I-I just thought you might like it, Vinnie. I mean, I heard that gay guys like musicals and stuff."

"Not me." He looked hurt by Joey's assumption. "Don't you know what I like anymore?"

Joey shrugged and replied, "Hey, I thought that you liked girls, but I was wrong!"

"Oh." Vinnie saw his point now, so he said, "Well, I like movies, not plays or anything."

Joey said, "Okay, then we'll go see a movie. Ooh! and nobody knows us at those theatres, so maybe we'll try to sneak into an R-rated movie together, huh?"

Vinnie did like the idea of doing something naughty with Joey, and spending hours close to him in the darkened theatre. Whenever they shared popcorn, or let their arms touch on the armrest, he had liked to imagine that they were on a date together. "Yeah. Let's do it! Let's go on Saturday, when I don't have to work."

"Okay!" Joey smiled and hugged him again. "Then we'll have a great time, just us."

Nodding, Vinnie clung to him and asked, "Do you think we look 17?"

Joey shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Uh, maybe we should try to get some fake IDs in case they ask us."

"I could ask my older brothers for theirs."

"Yeah! Good idea. And--and we should go to the station this week and get the maps and schedules, so we can plan out Saturday."

"Can we stay the whole day?"

"Sure. And I-I won't see Chandler that day, either. It'll be just our day."

"Just ours." Vinnie sighed happily.

Then Joey asked Vinnie about his day at work. So Vinnie told him about some customers, his boss and his coworkers, and how he had missed Joey so much today.

"I'm sorry," Joey repeated.

Vinnie asked with insecurity, "Did you miss me, when you were with him?"

Joey felt discouraged by Vinnie's constant focus on Chandler. "Yeah, of course I missed you!" He looked hurt. "How can you ask me that, Vinnie? I missed you all day, Friday when you avoided me, and I came to your house after midnight. Even before then, I missed you all the time. I always wanna hang out with you, Vinnie, but you gotta work so much after school and on weekends..." Joey frowned with a new realization. "I mean, I-I never knew before that you were trying to avoid me. Trying not to be gay."

Vinnie apologized. "I'm sorry, Joey. I-I was just trying to avoid the temptation. Trying not to get too close to kissing you and committing a sin... And I-I thought you were doing the same thing, you know, by seeing all those girls all the time."

Joey shook his head. "Nah. I saw those girls to have sex, you know, and fill up the time when you weren't around and I couldn't understand my homework." He shrugged and added, "Sometimes I wanted to get a job there with you, so that we could see each other more, but my mom won't let me work when my grades are so bad."

"Yeah, I know." Vinnie met his eyes and confessed, "I-I thought about quitting my job sometimes, but then I realized that we could probably get a car with the money, and be alone..." Then he broke off, realizing that the fantasy would disturb Joey again.

Joey blushed, but didn't move away from him. He just repeated, "We'll go to Manhattan on Saturday."

"Yeah." Vinnie nodded gratefully, and they fell into a long, cozy silence.

* * *

The boys lay close on the bed and embraced comfortingly, until at last Vinnie asked Joey softly if would stay for dinner tonight.

Joey blinked, realizing that his mother might be wondering why he still hadn't come home yet. "Uh, sure. I mean, if our parents don't mind."

"We'll ask them. And then maybe you could stay the night with me?"

Joey frowned and pulled back. "Really? Like a sleepover?"

Vinnie pouted again. "You don't want to anymore, because I'm gay?"

"It's not that. It's just my mom, and--" he hesitated, "I mean, aren't we too old for sleepovers anway?" He whispered with embarrassment, "And remember how I told you that I-I started sleeping naked?"

Vinnie gulped and tried to hide how much that idea turned him on. "I-I thought you were just doing that during the summer, because it was so hot. I mean, it's October now."

"Well yeah, but there's been some warm nights lately. Indian summer, you know."

"Oh."

Joey blushed and looked away from him. "It's--it's just comfortable."

Vinnie longed to get comfortable with Joey. "But couldn't you stay for just a while? Like when you came here on Friday night?"

Joey shrugged. "Well, as long as I don't stay too late. My mom's gonna worry, and tell me that I have school tomorrow."

"Oh, okay."

So after getting out of bed and cleaning up the traces of Vinnie's tears, they went downstairs together.

"Ma, can Joey stay for dinner?"

Mrs. De Luca sighed at the thought of having to feed Joey Tribbiani's bottomless appetite yet again today, but she saw that Vinnie really wanted him to stay, possibly as part of them making up, so she gave in. "Oh, all right. We'll set another place, but try to give us more warning next time, so I can have enough food ready."

"Okay. Thanks." Vinnie began setting the table.

"Yeah thanks, Mrs. De Luca." Joey then went to call his mother.

Vinnie's mom was pleased to see him looking happier now, but when she asked her son what the boys had been fighting about earlier, Vinnie only shrugged and said that there was a new kid at school, causing trouble.

"What kind of trouble?"

Vinnie didn't elaborate, and he changed the subject, asking for permission to go to Manhattan with Joey on Saturday.

"Alone? But you two could get lost or mugged in the city. Why do you wanna go there anyway?"

Vinnie protested that he was 15 now, and said that they would only go during the daytime, not after dark. "Come on, I know how to get back on the train to Queens. And if we get lost, then we'll call home."

Mrs. De Luca remained worried, but she promised to think about it and discuss it with Mr. De Luca.

During dinner, Joey noticed that the De Lucas seemed annoyed about him eating so much food, so he curbed his appetite and joked that he would save room for a late dinner at his own home. He even shared a dessert with Vinnie.

After helping to clear the table, Joey and Vinnie returned upstairs, where they sat on the bed again and talked about their plans for Saturday.

Vinnie asked, "What if our parents won't let us go to Manhattan by ourselves?"

Joey suggested, "Well, uh, then we'll figure out something else we can do instead. Like, we could go to Shea Stadium, if we can get tickets. Or, um, is Coney Island still open at this time of year?"

"I think parts of it maybe."

"Okay, we'll find out. I still gotta ask my mom and dad if we can go."

They hugged a little longer, until Joey's stomach grumbled. "I-I better go home now and eat some more."

"Okay." Vinnie reluctantly let go of him. "But maybe you could call me after you eat?"

"Sure." Joey kissed his cheek, then got up to go. Vinnie asked if he wanted the tie back, but Joey said, "Nah. You keep it. My mom already thinks that I lost it."

Then he left for home. After greeting his parents, Joey went to the kitchen to heat up some leftovers from dinner. While he waited, Mary Angela came in and asked again if Chandler had mentioned her at all during their tutoring session.

Joey frowned and hesitated. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Really? What'd he say?"

"Well, we were talking about _Romeo and Juliet_, and how they had this crazy plan because of their families, and Chandler mentioned how you came up with a crazy plan when you were dating."

Mary Angela gasped, feeling encouraged and excited now. "So he thinks that we're like Romeo and Juliet? That's so romantic!"

Joey quickly explained, "No, no! I don't think Chandler meant it like that. I mean, I asked him, and he said that he was still mad at you."

Her face fell. "But doesn't he miss me at all?"

Joey shrugged. "I don't know. He just wanted to change the subject, and that was it. We were working, Mary Angela."

"Fine." She pouted and went to her room in frustration.

Joey sat down and began eating, trying not to worry about his sister. When he finished and washed his plate, he went to his room and called Vinnie again. "Hey."

"Hey."

Joey told Vinnie about his conversation with Mary Angela and asked what he should do.

"Maybe you should introduce her to somebody new, so she'll date some other guy?"

"Well, I don't know. I don't think she's over Chandler yet. Besides, my mom made me promise that I wouldn't interfere anymore. I think she's going to try to get Chandler back a little longer, until she's really sure that he doesn't want her."

"Well he doesn't want her now! He's gay."

"No, he isn't," Joey said. "Why do you think he's gay, Vinnie? You've seen him only a couple of times and haven't really talked to him yourself."

"I don't have to talk to him. I just know, with the way he looks at you and calls you 'Joe.' You thought he was gay too. Besides, he's still tutoring you for free even though he doesn't like Mary Angela anymore. Why's he doing that?"

"Well, I begged Chandler to tutor me again and brought him a lasagna, you know. He said he didn't want me to fall behind after I missed school Thursday, and he felt guilty about Mary Angela too."

Vinnie didn't reply, but made a dubious sound.

To change the subject, Joey said that he hadn't asked his parents yet about going to Manhattan on Saturday. "I gotta think of how to ask them first. They might think I'm just goofing off and avoiding doing my homework or my chores."

After a little more discussion, they finally got tired and said goodnight to each other. Joey hung up and got ready for bed.

Then he lay awake and hoped that Vinnie would be all right. Was it too soon to try to get Vinnie interested in dating some other guy? Joey almost wished that Chandler really was gay, and that Vinnie's jealousy could turn into attraction. Oh, but then Mary Angela would be unhappy about that. Why did love have to be so complicated?


	16. Interruptions

**I've decided that this story is currently taking place in late October 1983. That means that it's much too early for the Tribbianis to be watching _Law & Order_, which didn't premiere until 1990. Sorry for that goof.**

**In episode 420, where Joey snored, you could see a poster of the movie _Scarface_ on his wall. _Scarface_ was released on December 9, 1983, but already in October, there was a public dispute about whether its violence merited an X or an R-rating.**

* * *

Back at school on Monday, Joey and Vinnie headed to their lockers and chatted before the morning bell. 

Today, Joey would get back his algebra homework that he turned in on Friday. "So I figure that if my grades are still good, then I can show my mom and dad that I'm really doing better now. I didn't just cram for one test."

"And then they'll let you go with me this weekend?" Vinnie asked.

Joey nodded. "Yeah, maybe. I just hope--"

Just then, a friendly voice called out, "Hey, Joe!"

He turned around to see Chandler waving at him, and then Joey glanced at Vinnie awkwardly, hoping that he wasn't jealous and upset again.

Vinnie didn't seem angry at Joey, but he stood closer and frowned at Chandler for spoiling things.

So Joey restrained his smile and answered less enthusiastically, "Uh, hi Chandler."

Rather than passing them in the hallway, Chandler actually stopped in front of them and turned to Vinnie next. "Uh, you're Vinnie, right?" They hadn't actually been introduced, when Vinnie took Joey to the nurse's office.

Vinnie didn't reply to Chandler's question, so Joey said quickly, "Yeah, uh, Chandler, this is my best friend Vinnie. Vinnie, this is Chandler." He hoped very much that Vinnie would appreciate his choice of words.

Chandler meanwhile remained oblivious to any tension. "Well, nice to meet you, Vinnie. Oh, Joey told me that he was supposed to meet you on Sunday, so I'm sorry about making him late."

Again, Vinnie coldly said nothing, and Joey covered with, "No problem. See ya later."

"Sure." But Chandler still didn't go yet, and he asked Joey, "Are we gonna meet tonight?"

"Uh, yeah. I'll call you later."

"Okay. See ya, Joe!" Chandler smiled and waved again as he finally left.

Joey breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Vinnie guiltily. "He's not my friend," he said, preemptively.

Vinnie only pouted and muttered, "And _you_ think that kid doesn't like you!" Then he hurried away to class, while Joey went to algebra.

He worried and wondered if he should find some way to politely tell Chandler to cool it whenever Vinnie was around, but then he would have to explain why Vinnie felt jealous.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mary Angela was wearing the new dress that Gina and Mary Theresa had bought for her on Saturday. She tried to look cheerful and walk confidently in it. 

All her friends greeted her and asked if she felt better since the breakup on Thursday.

"Yeah, a little bit. Joey said that Chandler was still angry yesterday, but I'm not gonna give up yet. Do you think that I look pretty enough that Chandler will want me back?"

The girls agreed that she looked great, and they suggested that she find a way to "accidentally run into him, on purpose" and make him regret breaking up with her.

They gave her all sorts of advice and assistance in setting up encounters that morning, but she failed to have any effect on Chandler. He didn't react to her dress, he didn't meet her eyes, and according to her girlfriends, he didn't pause and glance after her when she passed by. Even when she physically bumped into him, he only acknowledged her with a frown and a quiet "excuse me" before he moved on.

Mary Angela felt rather hurt and, deciding to drop the "look at what you're missing" tactic, she wrote him a note of apology during one of her classes, and then slipped it into his locker. She hoped that he would read it soon, and that it would melt his heart.

* * *

At lunch, Joey made a point to greet Vinnie warmly and touch his arm as they got their trays. "Yeah, my grade was much better today, and the teacher said that I could really pass if I keep working hard for the rest of the semester." 

"That's great."

After going through the line, Joey led Vinnie to a table by themselves, rather than join their other friends today.

Vinnie seemed pleased as they sat down together, and he asked, "Are you hungry?" He had brought some extra snacks from the vending machine as usual, and he now pulled them out of his pockets.

"Oh. Yeah, thanks." Joey smiled. "You wanna share?"

Vinnie nodded and felt happy to be with his best friend. They didn't always spend lunch together at school, because Joey often sneaked off to have sex with some girl, leaving Vinnie to eat with their other friends and watch out for Mary Angela's activities. Of course, Joey had lately told him not to do that anymore.

As they ate, Joey asked Vinnie whether he was still mad about Chandler intruding on them before. "I know you don't like him, but Chandler didn't know how you feel, Vinnie--and besides, he didn't mean anything by it. He was trying to apologize to you, you know?"

"I know." Vinnie frowned. "But he wouldn't go away, and he kept smiling and waving like you're friends. He has his own friends."

"Well, he's just being nice."

"And he keeps calling you 'Joe'. He's so gay."

"He's not. It's just the way he talks and stuff."

"He wants you," Vinnie insisted.

Joey shook his head and decided not to argue the point. "Never mind. Hey, Vinnie, don't forget that we have to get a bus schedule for Manhattan this weekend."

"Yeah, and we should find out where the movie theaters are. What movie do you wanna see, Joey?"

He shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Anything you wanna see, Vinnie. I just wish that new Al Pacino movie were out already."

Vinnie nodded. "Yeah, but if they give _Scarface_ an X rating, I don't think we look old enough to get into that."

Joey frowned in disappointment. "Yeah, too bad. I bet it'll be really good and bloody."

"Yeah."

Across the cafeteria, Chandler had his own problems. He asked his friends, "Is she still looking at me?"

Matt glanced toward Mary Angela and told Chandler, "Yep. I think you're gonna have to reply to her note."

"But I already broke up with her! Why can't she let it go?"

Brian said, "Well, you only dumped her last week. I guess she's hoping that you'll change your mind if she grovels. You're still friends with her brother, you know."

"But I told him that I don't wanna see her. He wouldn't lie to her, would he?"

Jack shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he wanted to make her feel better?"

Chandler frowned and thought about it for a moment. Then he looked around to find where Joey was eating, and he got up from the table.

When Vinnie saw Chandler coming toward them, he stopped talking and started glaring.

Joey blinked and turned around. "Oh-oh." He vainly hoped that they were mistaken, and Chandler was walking somewhere else, but no.

Chandler leaned over and said softly, "Hey, Joe, can I ask you something?"

"Um, uh..." Joey wished that Chandler could take a hint. "Right now?"

"Yeah, it's important." Chandler squatted in front of the table to get level with them. "It's about your sister. I mean, I thought that I made it clear that she's too much trouble, and it's over. But Mary Angela kept bothering me this morning, Joe, and then she wrote me a note. You didn't encourage her to do this, did you?"

Joey replied, "No, I didn't. I told her how you were still angry and stuff. But she really likes you and misses you. I think my mom and our other sisters encouraged her to try to win you back."

"Well, couldn't you do something about that? Tell them to stop it?"

"Are you kidding? No way! My mom made me promise that I wouldn't interfere anymore, and they're just trying to be there for her. Don't you understand what it's like with family, Chandler? I mean, if anything, I should have punched you out for sneaking around with her and hurting her. You're lucky that she didn't ask me to do that, you know."

Chandler was stunned by the bluntness of his words, and he even glanced at Vinnie, who nodded fiercely and looked ready to punch him right now. So Chandler gulped and looked back at Joey with guilt. "I'm sorry. I-I just don't have siblings, you know, and I didn't realize... Uh, I'll just have to deal with her myself, I guess. I'm sorry, Joe. And I'll try not to be too hard on her, okay?"

"Good," Joey said firmly. He didn't want things to get so bad that Mary Angela would demand that he kick Chandler's ass.

Feeling humbled, Chandler stood up again and pressed Joey's arm. "Thanks for forgiving me."

Joey said, "It's okay," but looked at his lingering hand and coughed. "I'll see you tonight."

"Okay. Bye, Joe." Then he finally returned to his own table.

Vinnie wished that Joey had hit Chandler after all, or let him do it, but it was too late for that now.

Joey met his eyes with concern and murmured, "Vinnie..."

Vinnie whispered, "I know. But he shouldn't touch you like that."

"He didn't mean anything gay, Vinnie. He just feels guilty about Mary Angela."

"No, he's guilty about making _you_ upset. He only cares about how you feel."

"Nah, he just--"

This time Mary Angela interrupted them. Joey looked concerned and offered her a chair. She sat down and asked him what Chandler had come over for. "Was it just about tutoring?"

"No, uh--"

"Did he get my note?"

Joey felt bad and tried to soothe her. "Yeah, uh, he mentioned something, but--but he was, like, not sure how to... let you down easy."

She cried. "Oh! Why can't he forgive me? Doesn't he miss me at all?"

"I'm sorry." He hugged his sister, and suggested, "I think you better talk to him yourself. Or, uh, give him some more time, and he'll talk to you later."

Vinnie wanted to say, "You don't need him. Good riddance. He's gay anyway," but he held his tongue and just patted her shoulder diplomatically.

She finally calmed down after a while, then left to rejoin her friends and go clean herself up in the bathroom. Joey looked after her sadly and felt conflicted about keeping Chandler as a tutor. But he needed the help, and who else could tutor him?

* * *

After school, Gina and Mary Theresa walked Mary Angela home and comforted her. Chandler had finally decided to reply to her that afternoon with the simple note, "I'm sorry, but it's not going to work out between us. Goodbye." She was still crying over it. 

Joey took another route home with Vinnie and tried not to feel guilty. "They can make her feel better, right?"

Vinnie replied, "Yeah, girls are better at that stuff. And you can't keep making excuses for Chandler, anyway. You can't control him, and it's not your fault what he does."

Joey shrugged and put his arm around Vinnie. "Thanks." They had to part at the Tribbiani house, so Joey said, "I'll see you later. Have a good day at work."

"Okay. Bye."

Joey went inside and put his books away, then called Chandler. "So, can I come over after dinner tonight?"

"Uh, sure. Annie'll get you at around 8."

"Okay. See ya."

"See ya."

After hanging up, Joey went downstairs and showed his mother the grade on his homework.

She read the teacher's red handwriting happily. "'Great improvement! C!' Oh, Joey, this is wonderful!" She even proudly decided to put the paper on the refridgerator.

Joey blushed and said, "Yeah, I'm doing better, Ma, and I'm going over to Chandler's house again tonight."

"Good. Um, I'll try to keep Mary Angela's mind off that when you go. She's very sad, you know, since the note."

"Yeah." Joey winced and paused, then changed the subject as casually he could, "So, uh, I'm gonna keep working hard on my algebra and my Shakespeare all this week, but I was thinking that I'm gonna need a break from it later. Vinnie and me were talking about maybe, uh, going out to Manhattan on Saturday."

"Manhattan? Who's gonna drive you that far?"

"Oh, we thought we'd take the train and buses, you know. Just go see all the sights and hang out in the city. It's okay, isn't it?"

Gloria considered it. "Well, I guess you're old enough, if you're careful, but we'll have to ask your father when he gets home. I'll show him your homework too!"

"Okay, thanks, Ma." He offered to help her make dinner, but she warned him to go upstairs first and do his homework. "Then you can help."

"Okay." So he returned to his bedroom and did all his homework except for the algebra and English lit. that Chandler was going to help him with.

When he finished and returned downstairs, he saw Mary Angela hanging out at the dining table and still looking sad. "You okay?"

She only shrugged, and he hugged her again. Then Mary Angela sighed and returned to doing her homework while Joey went into the kitchen to help his mom make dinner.

Joey felt bad, and wished that Vinnie was around to reassure him again. Vinnie had been really nice today; he had finally dropped the bitter complaints about the tutoring being unnecessary, though he remained suspicious of Chandler's overly familiar behavior, and wanted Joey to keep him at a distance.

When Joey Sr. came home from work, Gloria filled him in on all the news, including Joey's idea about a trip to Manhattan.

"Saturday, huh? Not at night, though? Okay, during the day's not so bad. I have to go there all the time for business. Joey, come here." He briefly told his son about how to be streetwise and to take care not to get mugged or anything. "I better talk to Vinnie too before you go and make sure that the De Lucas are okay with it."

"Sure, Dad. Uh, when we asked them yesterday, they only said that they'd think about it. But if they say no, we could do something here in Queens instead. It doesn't matter. We just wanna go have fun and relax from, you know, his work and all my studying."

"Yeah, I guess you gotta blow off steam sometime." Joey Sr. certainly knew that, from the frustrations at his own job, although his hobbies hadn't helped him much. Then he took on a stern tone as he lectured his son, "But listen, Joey, you gotta keep doing good in school, for your ma. She worries so much about you failing and maybe getting left back, and she's got enough stress already with all your sisters too."

"Yeah I know. I'll be real serious, I promise."

"Good."


	17. Chandler's Mother Issues

**While I wouldn't describe Vinnie as "crazy," lupinsmoon is right that "Vinnie is the only one who can see; the foreshadower, if you will." Vinnie is neither insane nor paranoid; he's in love and heartbroken to find himself being squeezed out of Joey's affections so suddenly. Had Chandler not come along, Vinnie would have just continued to silently love Joey and struggle with his moral doubts about the sin; it is only the feeling of competition that drives Vinnie's pain and defensiveness lately.**

**If Joey doesn't like it, he could back off from their friendship, or at least not hug and kiss Vinnie so much in bed; his own blindness and odd behavior only encourages Vinnie's neediness. I will try to make Vinnie less annoying, though.**

* * *

At home, Chandler anxiously tried to convince his mother to go away. "But Mom, Joey's coming over tonight! Can't you go work on your book or something?"

Nora sat on the couch and sipped her drink. "I already finished plenty of chapters, kiddo, and I'm taking a break. I don't want to be stuck in my office all the time."

"Well, then go out on a date or something! Just don't come back early. Or better yet, stay the night at his place." Chandler certainly didn't want to overhear his mom bedding another boytoy. Of course this was a new apartment, so he wasn't sure yet how thin the walls were here.

Nora shook her head. "Funny thing about getting divorced for the second time--it puts you off men for a while." She shrugged and put an arm around his shoulders. "But that just gives me more time to spend with my son, who's going through a rough time at his new school."

Chandler squirmed out of her grasp and said, "I'm not having a rough time! I love going to a regular school."

"You do?" She looked confused. "But you got bullied on your first day, and your new girlfriend broke up with you very fast, and for some reason you're still tutoring her brother. Isn't that awkward for you?"

Chandler certainly remembered the awkwardness at lunch today, but he only told Nora, "Well, I don't care about her anymore, as long as she leaves me alone. I'm fine, Mom, and I don't need you hanging around for anything."

"Teenagers never want to admit that they need their mothers. Come on, kiddo, I won't embarrass you. I just want to meet this boy that you're tutoring. What is this, the fifth time that you've helped him? You ought to introduce us by now."

"No! No, I don't wanna introduce you!" he whined. "Why can't you just leave us alone?"

"Us?" She became curious. "Why, what's the big mystery, Chandler? I already met your other friends--"

"Yeah, and they spent the whole time drooling over you!" He pouted. "You ruined everything, and I can't even invite them over anymore."

Nora was surprised by his hostility. "Well, don't blame me! I can't control what your friends do, and I don't encourage them. I'm not Mrs. Robinson."

Chandler scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with the way I dress or how much makeup I wear! I'm not some frumpy housewife, and I don't have to be. I may be your mother, but I'm still a woman, and I happen to be proud of my body and--"

"Arggh!" He covered his ears and spoke gibberish to cover up anything further that she might say, especially if it pertained to her libido.

Nora gave up with a sigh and took another sip of her drink. After Chandler fell silent again, she shook her head and said, "I can't believe that my teenage son is such a prude. It must be from all the snooty teachers at that prep school you went to."

"No, it's not! You've embarrassed me for years, Mom, and I hate it. You--you can't just decide all of the sudden that you want to be interested in my life and act like a mother now. That doesn't make up for all your books and your drinking and your gigolos!"

"Oh really?" she answered angrily. "_I'm_ so awful? What about your father--seducing the help in the poolhouse, and putting on my clothes, and even sneaking out to gay bars dressed like that. He was just asking to get caught and humiliate me! Then he finally abandoned us and ran off to Vegas to put on a horrible drag show! Would you rather live with him?"

"I'd rather be an orphan!" he said, without thinking.

Nora was so stunned and wounded that she was speechless. She finished off her drink with a gulp, then slammed down the glass on the table, before getting up. She stormed out of the room and called out for Annie to get the car, because she was going out.

Chandler felt somewhat guilty for hurting his mom, but also a little relieved by her departure. He wondered whether she would stay out for long; he might have to arrange for other transportation for Joey tonight. So he listened from the balcony while they got into the car below.

Nora told Annie to drive her into Manhattan, to one of her favorite bars. "Just drop me off. I'll take a cab home."

"Yes, Mrs. Bing."

Chandler was pleased when he watched them drive away. Clearly his mom wanted to get drunk and she'd either come home plastered very late, or more likely end up in some guy's bed for the night. Either way, it would be hours until he saw her next, and Annie would be back in time to get Joey.

* * *

Since he wouldn't be able to come visit Vinnie at work tonight, Joey called him during his usual break time. After chatting a bit, he told Vinnie, "So I asked my mom and dad about Saturday, and they said that they'd let us go."

"Really? By ourselves?"

"Yeah, they think we're old enough to handle it. But my dad just wants to talk to you and make sure it's okay with your parents first. Oh, and he said he's got a map to show us too. So can you come over tomorrow night, Vinnie?"

"Tomorrow? Why not tonight, after my shift's over?"

"Well, I'm not sure what time I'll be home after tutoring, and you still gotta do your homework, right? Let's just wait until tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay." Vinnie sounded disappointed.

Joey told him, "We'll have more time then. I mean, you still gotta get the bus schedules on your way home, and you know, ask your parents again if you can go. Hey, if they're still worried, you can tell them that my dad knows Manhattan pretty well. If we get lost, we can always find a payphone and call him to come get us."

"Okay. I'll try to convince them."

"Good. Then tomorrow we'll look at the map and schedules together. Okay?"

"Okay. Um, maybe I'll bring my homework along and we'll do that together?"

"Yeah, sure. We'll hang out and stuff."

"Oh, I gotta get back to work now. Bye, Joey."

"Bye." He hung up, then got ready for his tutoring session with Chandler.

* * *

When Chandler greeted Joey at the door, he half hid behind it and seemed shy. After Annie shut the door and walked past them to the kitchen, Chandler asked softly, "You're not, like, mad about the note I sent Mary Angela, are you? I-I tried not to be mean or anything, but I'm--I'm really bad at breakups."

Joey sighed and hesitated, looking down at his feet. "Um, it's okay. At least you--you handled it."

Chandler still looked nervous. "And she didn't, uh, ask you to hit me or anything?"

"Uh, no. No, she's just... sad, not angry. And I guess she knows that I need a tutor real bad." Joey frowned, and added cautiously, "Uh, actually, it's Vinnie that's mad at you, Chandler."

"What? Vinnie? Why?"

Joey shrugged and said, "Well, he thinks that I should have hit you before, and that I'm--I'm too nice to you. He doesn't trust you, and doesn't think I should trust you either."

Chandler blinked and tried to understand this attitude. "Well, I-I know that I lied to you before, Joe, but I won't do it again. I'm so sorry. I really am." He touched Joey's arm and looked into his eyes.

"I know, Chandler. I know that." He pressed back on Chandler's hand. "It's just hard for me to convince Vinnie, though, and I wanted to warn you about it, so you'd understand if he was acting weird."

"Warn me? He--he's not going to try to hit me, is he?"

"What? No!" Joey shook his head and squeezed Chandler's arms reassuringly. "No, he won't. He just... he doesn't want you to keep coming up to us like you did at school today. It bothers him. So can you just try to be more careful, Chandler? I mean, sure you can say hi or talk to me about tutoring, but don't be too friendly or anything, and try not to hang around too long."

"Oh." Chandler thought it over and shrugged. "Well, I-I guess I could do that, Joe. But it's just... weird."

Joey nodded, but didn't want to explain any further about Vinnie's feelings. So he let go of Chandler and said, "Thanks." Then he cleared his throat and headed down the hall. "Well, uh, let's get started."

"Okay." Chandler followed Joey to the den, and they sat down together.

Joey unpacked his books from his bag, and told him, "Oh I got a C+ on my algebra homework."

"Oh great! Do you have it with you? Maybe we could check your problems."

"Oh, uh," Joey blushed a little, "my mom put it on the fridge."

Chandler smiled and chuckled. "Well, how about what you covered in class today? Did you understand the lesson?"

"Uh, some of it. I've got my notes here."

"Let's get your algebra out of the way quickly, so we can get back to Shakespeare."

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

Much later, while they were were in the middle of studying for Joey's _Romeo and Juliet_ quiz, Nora suddenly came home.

She was drunk, and she burst in on them in the den. The lights were low as they watched a video, so she flipped them on and cried, "Aha!"

"Mom!"

Joey blinked and stared at her hotness. "That's your mom?"

"Yes! Yes I am," Nora answered and came closer. "And you must be Joey." She eyed him and Chandler suspiciously. "Yeah, you're cute, all right. Too cute."

"Mom!" Chandler stopped the video and got up, mortified. "We're busy here! Can you please leave?"

"No! Not till I know what's going on here!"

"Nothing's going on. We're studying. Come on!" He dragged her out of the room, but she kept arguing with him in the hall.

"Don't lie to me, Chandler. I lived with your father, the biggest liar of them all, so you can't fool me. Why'd you want me out of the house so bad?"

He kept trying to shush her and make her go farther away from the den. "Because you ruin everything! Like this! Please--"

"Is he your boyfriend, Chandler?"

Chandler blinked and gasped. "What?"

"Tell me the truth! Are you gay, like your father?"

"No! No, I'm not!"

"Then why were you sitting in the dark with him there?"

"We were just--" He gave up in frustration. "Stop it! Stop it!" Chandler ran away from her and into his bedroom, slamming the door and locking it.

Nora tried knocking and talking to him further, but by then Annie arrived and pulled her away, telling her to calm down. She knew that the boys had done nothing but schoolwork since Nora had been out. "It's innocent."

"Are you sure? Because with Charles, we thought--"

"I know, ma'am, but I bring them snacks all the time. I would have seen." She escorted Nora to her bedroom and offered her a soothing bath.

After uncomfortably waiting through the incident, Joey finally ventured out of the den. Not knowing which door had been slammed, he knocked on various doors and called out, "Chandler? Chandler, are you there?" He could hear the muffled sounds of crying in one room, so that must be the right one. "Come on, Chandler, let me in."

Grabbing some tissues, Chandler slowly composed himself and came to the door, but he didn't unlock it. "I-I'm sorry, Joe. This is such a disaster! I-I didn't know that she'd--" He choked up again. "Uh, I can't finish tutoring you tonight. I can't--"

"It doesn't matter. Just open the door, please." When Chandler did so, Joey said, "Come here," and pulled him into a hug.

Chandler was surprised, but he needed it, and he sniffled against Joey's shoulder.

After a moment, Joey asked him, "Are you gonna be okay?"

"I-I don't know." He clung to Joey's arms.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Chandler shook his head, but then he asked, "Did you, um, hear--?"

"Yeah, uh, I did. I'm not sure if I understood it all, about your dad and stuff, but yeah I heard it."

Chandler said nothing and looked away again.

Joey caressed his face and said, "I'm sorry if I made your mom think you were gay."

He shrugged and joked bitterly, "Everybody thinks I'm gay."

Joey almost told him that Vinnie thought he was gay too, but thought better of it. "Uh, well, I guess I should leave now, 'cause you got stuff to talk out with your mom. I'll go get my books." He finally let go and headed back to the den.

Chandler didn't really want to discuss anything with his mom, but he accepted the excuse. "Are--are you gonna be all right for your quiz, Joe?"

"Yeah I think so. I got my notes and the videos, so I'll just go home and study them. Thanks."

"Okay." Chandler saw him to the door, then asked, "Uh, can you--can you not tell anybody else what happened, Joe?" He didn't want this incident getting out at school.

Joey squeezed his shoulder. "Sure. Don't worry, I won't tell anybody, Chandler."

"Thank you. Uh, should I get Annie?"

"No, I'll walk home. I know the way. Goodnight, Chandler."

"Goodnight."


	18. The Walls Have Ears

While walking home, Joey pondered what he had learned about Chandler's family tonight. Mrs. Bing was hot. Really hot. She didn't look at all like a mother, and Joey would have enjoyed seeing more of her. Too bad that she'd been drunk and suspicious, though. Poor Chandler--he had already been upset and defensive about people thinking him gay at school, so no wonder he had broken down during the scene with mother. And if his father was gay too... maybe Chandler had been dealing with this sort of thing for years.

Well, if Mr. Bing was gay, then that must explain the divorce that Chandler had mentioned before. Joey curiously wondered where Mr. Bing lived now, and what he looked like. Maybe if Mr. Bing was a nice guy, then he could talk to Vinnie about being gay? He could help Vinnie feel better and not be scared about going to hell. However, Joey wasn't sure that Chandler would willingly tell him more about his dad, and how to contact him.

Joey probably shouldn't reveal so much about Vinnie to Chandler, anyway. He'd have to think of something else. There must be other gay kids at school, or maybe an understanding guidance counselor would do?

At last, Joey entered his house and walked by the dining room, where he saw three of his sisters at the dining table. He said hello, and they looked up.

"Hi," Mary Therese greeted him and glanced at the clook. "It's 9:30. You done with tutoring already?"

"Uh, yeah," he answered, and took off his backpack. "How you doing, Mary Angela?"

Suppressing her urge to ask Joey whether Chandler had mentioned her during tutoring, she said instead, "I'm okay. I couldn't concentrate on my homework, so Gina and Mary Therese are helping me finish."

Gina said, "Yeah, we're almost done. Hey, Joey, I didn't hear a car outside. Did you walk home?"

"Yeah."

Gina teased him. "No more chauffeuring for you? Good. I was afraid that you were getting a little spoiled by that rich kid."

Joey looked surprised. "What? Nah, Chandler's just new to the neighborhood and he didn't know how to give me good directions to his place. But I know where he lives now, and it's not that far."

"Yeah, but you let the maid drive you home before, and yesterday you even had her bring in your books for you while you went to Vinnie's house!" She tsked at his laziness.

Joey said, "I-I just had to see Vinnie right away, and besides, she always talks a lot with Ma. I didn't want to get held up."

"Yeah," Mary Therese nodded and thought of their frequent chats lately. "Ma likes her, and I guess she's nice."

"I still don't see what the rush was," Gina told Joey. "You already spent all morning and lunchtime with Vinnie, but you had to go over there for dinner too? I mean, just call him or something."

Mary Therese said with a laugh, "But then he'd have to worry about Dina!"

Joey blinked. "What?"

Gina said, "She eavesdrops on the phone. Didn't you know? Sometimes you can hear Dina picking up and breathing on the line, or else she'll hide nearby when you're using the phone in the hallway."

"Whoa." Joey felt dumb now and worried about what Dina might have heard him discussing with Vinnie.

Mary Therese added, "We keep telling her to stop it, but she has no shame, and Tina just encourages her. But then Ma caught Dina doing it again tonight and punished her. Made her go to bed early and grounded her. I wonder how long she'll be good this time."

Joey frowned and said, "Uh, maybe I'll go tell her off too."

"She might be asleep already."

"Well, I'll see. Goodnight." Joey picked up his backpack again and headed upstairs.

They said goodnight and wished him good luck on his Shakespeare quiz.

* * *

After dropping off his books in his room, Joey listened at his younger sisters' bedroom door instead of knocking. Dina and Tina were gossiping about how soon Mary Angela would find a new boyfriend and who it might be.

So he came in. "I knew you weren't asleep yet!"

"Hey!" Dina protested from bed. "You can't just come in here."

"Yeah, this is our room!"

Joey scolded them, "See, this is what it feels like when you eavesdrop on people! You shouldn't invade their privacy."

Dina pouted and looked at Tina in the other bed. "It's just that nobody tells us stuff and treats us like babies, 'cause we're the youngest."

"Nobody's gonna tell you stuff if they think they can't trust you. Look, if Mary Angela feels like telling you stuff, then she'll tell you, but when you sneak around, then it's just as bad as looking in her diary. Would you like somebody looking in your diary?"

"No," Dina admitted, then pointed out defiantly, "but you had Vinnie spying on Mary Angela, you know!"

Joey frowned and sat on her bed. "Yeah, I-I guess I went too far. I just wanted to protect her. But I told Vinnie to stop doing that now, and I promised Ma that I wouldn't interfere anymore. You gotta stop too."

Dina said, "Okay. I'm sorry."

"Me too," Tina said. "It wasn't just for fun, Joey. We really wanted to know what would happen with Mary Angela, because you wouldn't let her date, and we got worried that you'd never let us date either. But if you're really gonna leave her alone her now, then maybe you won't be so bad with us."

"Yeah, I'll try not to. It's just, you guys are my baby sisters--"

"We're not babies!"

"All right. I'm sorry." He sighed. "I guess I'll just let Ma and Dad handle you guys."

"Yay!" They both hugged him and made up.

Then Joey asked in a whisper, "Hey, did you guys ever eavesdrop on me?"

They looked guilty, until Dina finally confessed, "Well, I heard you talking to Vinnie last week about how you thought Chandler was gay, and you were gonna let Mary Angela date so that she would find a new boyfriend."

Joey scowled at her. "Anything else? Did you hear me and Vinnie say anything personal?"

Dina said, "If you mean, like, girlfriends and stuff, I heard you telling him about some girl you did it with, and I hung up before it got gross." She pointed an accusing finger at him. "You lied to me, Joey! You said you were gonna wait until you were 25!"

Caught, Joey quickly covered with, "No! No, I-I didn't really have sex with her. Nothing happened. I was just, uh, making up stuff to impress Vinnie."

"What? You were lying to Vinnie?"

"Lots of guys do it. They want to be macho and brag to their friends about what they did."

Dina looked at Tina doubtfully, so Joey continued to bluff, "Come on! I don't wanna risk getting some girl pregnant. Remember those wedding pictures where Ma's pregnant, and Dad still has hair? But now he has to wear a toupee. I don't wanna get married yet, and go to work, and lose my hair."

"Oh, okay." They both hugged him and said they were glad that the rumors about him weren't true.

"Yeah, but don't tell anybody else, because I like my reputation."

"It'll be our secret?" Tina asked.

"Sure. Just us. All right, you better go to sleep now. Goodnight." Joey got up from the bed and closed the door as he left, happy that his youngest sisters were so gullible and did not know about condoms yet.

* * *

Joey returned to his bedroom, relieved that his sisters didn't know about Vinnie being gay. Still, maybe he should be careful on the phone, and warn Vinnie tomorrow just in case Dina or Tina ever resumed eavesdropping.

Unpacking his books again and sitting on his own bed, Joey tried to finish studying Shakespeare, but he was distracted by thoughts of the incident at Chandler's apartment. He also recalled Chandler's sexy mom and got turned on, even though he knew that he shouldn't. That would be rather awkward if Chandler caught him leering or anything.

Besides, Joey realized ruefully that Mrs. Bing had also thought Joey was Chandler's boyfriend. He felt embarrassed at being mistaken for gay, and wondered again why Vinnie had thought he was gay, despite all the girls he slept with.

Joey went back downstairs to make a snack in the kitchen. Mary Angela had finally finished her homework, and had left to watch TV with everybody else. While he ate, Joey's mom came by the dining room and asked him how his tutoring went.

He said it went well and didn't mention meeting Mrs. Bing at all. "I-I just hope I don't forget it all by the time I take the quiz."

"Well you didn't forget everything for your algebra test, and you only had one tutoring session then. I know Shakespeare's hard, honey, but just try."

"Okay, Ma."

She hugged him and then left to make sure that Joey Sr. had locked up the garage after working on his ship-in-the-bottle.

After eating, Joey washed his plate and returned to his room, where he studied again until he got tired and went to bed.

* * *

On Tuesday morning, Joey walked with Vinnie to school and told him about Dina's eavesdropping. "She said she won't do it anymore, but I'm not sure, because she and Tina like to gossip so much."

Vinnie nodded and said, "We should be careful anyway, because either of our parents could pick up the phone to call somebody and hear us talking." He paused and added softly, "That's why I-I liked it more when you told me about sex in person, with drawings and everything."

Joey blushed as he remembered how explicit he had been, and he wondered why he hadn't realized why exactly Vinnie had enjoyed their "dirty talk" before.

Vinnie noticed Joey's discomfort and said, "You know, I did hear somebody on the line last week, but I thought it was just Mary Angela, making sure that you told me to stop spying on her. But since then, I didn't hear anybody else pick up while we were talking."

"Oh, good."

At school, Chandler waved at Joey in the hallway, then walked on, remembering what Joey had said about Vinnie. He sighed and just hoped that Mary Angela would leave him alone today.

Vinnie was happy, and he told Joey how he had tried to convince his parents to let him go to Manhattan. "But they said that they definitely don't want us to go to Central Park, because it's full of thieves and flashers and stuff."

Joey frowned. "Oh. But I thought it wouldn't be as bad during the day."

"Well, they said that muggers still go after you during the day because the park has all these wooded areas and big bushes and winding pathways. So, somebody can come out of nowhere at you."

"Huh. Well, I'll ask my dad about it tonight. If it's really not safe, then we'll skip it and have fun somewhere else, I guess. You got the bus schedules, right?"

"Yeah, I'll bring them over."

Joey's classes went fairly well that day. He found it easier to understand his algebra lesson, and he definitely did better on his English lit. quiz than normal. Of course, considering that he had consistently failed the previous Shakespeare quizzes, that wasn't saying much. He hoped that he had passed, and over lunch, he asked Vinnie how he managed to pass his classes, without tutoring.

Vinnie shrugged. "I don't have a lot of time after school because I work, so I have to usually read ahead on the weekends. My brothers also lend me their old notes and help, and I got those Cliff Notes too, for when my brothers are busy."

"You understood them?"

Vinnie said, "Enough to pass the tests. I really wish I could have helped you, Joey. But it was too easy to let you goof off and have you tell me more about your dates instead."

"It's okay." Joey put his arm around Vinnie.

* * *

That night, Vinnie came over after leaving work early, and Joey helped him take off his backpack.

Mr. Tribbiani welcomed Vinnie inside and asked if he wanted something to eat.

"No, I had dinner already."

"All right." Joey Sr. then led the boys to the living room. "Well, Vinnie, your parents called me while you were at work and said they didn't want to let you guys go to Central Park."

"Uh, yeah, they told me that it was too dangerous, even during the day."

Joey Sr. said, "Well, it is if you're by yourself and you wander away from where there's lots of people. It's not like a regular neighborhood park around here. It's huge, and they even have a bunch of lakes in it. Look at this map here." He showed the boys his map.

"Wow."

"Yeah. And I guess you guys might get into trouble if you get too far from the open, grassy areas like in here. It's a real nice park, though; it's like you're not in the city at all. Maybe I'll take you boys there sometime if you wanna see it. But since the De Lucas are worried about it, don't go there by yourselves yet. You could go to plenty of other places, like the Empire State Building, Rockefeller Center, Times Square..."

"Sure," Joey agreed. "Yeah, we can skip the park."

Vinnie nodded. "Do you know where the movie theatres are? And good places to eat lunch?"

Joey Sr. answered, "Well, uh, I think there's some stuff over here. Hey, Joey, Frankie's tailor shop is right there. You should go say hi. We're gonna have him do the suits for your sisters' wedding."

"A suit? But I have a nice suit already."

"That's just your Sunday church clothes, and you're gonna grow out of them soon. This is much more formal too, and you should get used to going to a tailor because you're growing up now. Frankie's done all my suits since I was 16. He's the best."

"Okay. But I'll just say hi."

They resumed discussing Manhattan in general, and Joey Sr. warned them, "Whatever you do, don't go south of 14th street." He pointed to the map. "See how all those streets below it start going diagonal and stuff? You could get lost there real easy, so stay in Mid-town."

"Okay. Can we take this map with us?"

"Sure. And remember to dress warm, because it's October, and your Ma will worry."

"We will."

* * *

**I'm sure you all remember Frankie the tailor from episode 201, with Chandler's unfortunate encounter. Speaking of naive Tribbianis, in episode 810, Dina believes Joey's lie that he had waited until he was 25 to have sex. And this from a girl who had 2 years of college!**

**I've read that Central Park has become much safer in recent decades, because of new safeguards and patrolling police, but I believe that in the 1980s, it was certainly perceived to be dangerous.**


	19. Annie Spills the Beans

Chandler was still avoiding his mom. He hadn't spoken to her since last night.

After Joey's departure, Chandler had returned to his bedroom, where he chainsmoked and brooded about how awful and unfair his life was. Later, Annie knocked on his door and attempted to reconcile him with Nora, but Chandler refused to forgive his mother for making a drunken scene and questioning his sexuality in front of Joey.

"I hate her!"

"You don't hate her!"

"Yes I do!"

Annie sighed. "Chandler, I know that she's not a perfect mother, but at least she's trying. She just made a mistake, but-"

"I don't care! Leave me alone!" He threw a shoe at the door.

So Annie gave up for the night and returned to make sure that Nora didn't fall asleep in the bathtub.

On Monday morning, Annie informed Chandler that his mom was in bed with a hangover. "Good!" Chandler thought that Nora deserved to suffer, so he didn't even try to make up with her.

He just got ready for school and quickly ate breakfast before he left the apartment. At school, Chandler didn't mention the incident to any of his friends, and was glad that Joey apparently had kept his promise too. A couple of times, he saw Mary Angela looking sadly at him in the hallways, but she did not try to speak to him now.

At the end of the day, Chandler really didn't want to go home, so he went to visit Jack for a while and do homework together. That made him think about Joey, though, so Chandler got up and called him. "Hey, Joe. I'm sorry we got interrupted yesterday. Do you want another session tonight to make up for it?"

Joey replied, "No, not tonight, Chandler. Probably tomorrow. How are you and your mom doing?"

Chandler said, "Horrible. I don't even wanna see her!" But then he asked again, "Joey, are you sure that you don't need me tonight? I mean, I guess I couldn't come over to your house because of Mary Angela, but maybe we could meet somewhere else? Is there a library nearby?"

"Yeah there is, but like I said, I can't meet you tonight. How about tomorrow?"

"Why not tonight? Is Vinnie there? Does he still hate me?"

"He doesn't hate you! He just..." Joey trailed off and replied instead, "No, he's not here. He's at work right now, but he's coming over later. We're gonna do homework and plan some stuff for this weekend. That's why I can't see you tonight."

"But don't you still need help with your homework, Joe? How'd you do on that Shakespeare quiz?"

"Uh, I think I passed it, but I won't know for sure until tomorrow. But I'm okay for now, and I need a break from tutoring anyway."

Chandler was hurt that Joey needed a break from him. "But can't we meet right now, while Vinnie's at work?"

Joey said, "No. I'm doing my chores now." He tried to be more understanding. "Look, Chandler, I know that things are bad with your mom, but if you need somewhere to go, then why don't you hang out with your friends for a while?"

"Uh, okay," Chandler said with a pout.

Joey said, "Good. So, I'll see you tomorrow, and I hope you feel better. Bye."

"Bye." Chandler despondently hung up and returned to the living room, where Jack had now finished his homework.

After putting his books away, Jack turned on the TV and put his feet up. He invited Chandler to sit down and relax.

Chandler sat next to him, but didn't really watch the TV, nor listen as Jack chatted to him about favorite TV shows.

Jack asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Uh, can I stay here for dinner?"

"Okay. I'll ask my mom. Do you need to call yours?"

"No. I asked her already," he lied.

So Chandler stayed for dinner, but he remained gloomy and not much fun, no matter how much Jack tried to get him to joke around like normal. Then at last Chandler got his stuff and reluctantly walked home.

When he arrived, Nora looked relieved and tried to apologize to him. But he coldly ducked around her and locked himself back in his room.

Annie encouraged Nora to try again. "I'm sorry, Chandler. I really am. It's just-you were being so secretive about that boy, and I remembered how your father was, and I was drunk. It made me imagine stuff, I guess. But I'm sorry."

Chandler just turned his stereo on loud enough to drown out her voice, while he smoked again and missed Joey.

* * *

With the map and Vinnie's backpack, the boys headed upstairs to Joey's room. Joey gave a quick glance to make sure that Dina wasn't eavesdropping in the hallways, then he shut and locked the door.

Vinnie got the bus schedules out of his backpack and sat on the bed. Joey joined him and helped him spread out the map and schedules. For a while, they excitedly discussed the details of their trip, including what R-rated movie they would try to sneak into. Then they finally folded everything up and put it away so that they could do their homework.

Getting out his books, Vinnie asked hesitantly, "Are you sure you can do yours without Chandler's help?"

"Yeah, I think I'm getting better at my algebra now. I don't have any test for a while, either, so I'll be okay for tonight."

"Okay, and I'll help you too." Vinnie was glad to have Joey all to himself.

Kicking off their shoes, they stretched out on the bed alongside each other and began to work on their school assignments. Vinnie tried to concentrate and not goof off, but he kept glancing at Joey and thinking about kissing him again. If only Joey was gay too; Vinnie had been so sure sometimes when they were together.

Joey on the other hand was preoccupied with his homework, and he even let Vinnie check his algebra problems for him. Vinnie did catch a couple of simple errors, but he also got very distracted by Joey lying close to him and looking over his shoulder. Vinnie soon scooted away and returned to his own papers while Joey corrected his math.

Out of habit, Vinnie also had the urge to ask Joey about his sex life again, but stopped himself. In any case, Joey hadn't been with a new girl yet, although he had asked out someone at lunchtime. Vinnie closed his eyes and tried not to think about it.

"Vinnie? Are you asleep?"

"Uh, no." Vinnie opened his eyes and shrugged. "It's just this boring book, you know."

"Oh. Okay." So Joey returned to his homework.

* * *

Meanwhile, unknown to either Joey or Chandler, Annie and Gloria were discussing them over the phone. Annie hadn't been able to call Gloria on Monday night, nor during the day, but now she found time to explain the unpleasant incident, and its aftermath.

Gloria frowned at the news. "Really? But Joey didn't say that anything happened during tutoring, and he didn't even mention Chandler's mother at all."

"He didn't?"

"No. Hmm, maybe he was embarrassed because she thought he was gay?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Can you tell Joey that Nora is so sorry for her mistake? She was just drunk and suspicious because her ex-husband, Chandler's father, turned out to be gay. She was afraid of it happening again."

"Oh. Does that really run in the family?"

"Oh, I don't know. I heard that Chandler's grandfather was gay too, but I'm not sure if that's just rumor. Anyway, Chandler was very upset by the whole thing last night and he still isn't speaking to his mother, no matter what we do."

"That must be terrible."

"Yes. It's a very troubled family, and I almost wish that she would put Chandler back into therapy to help him cope. But it's not my place to say, and of course Mrs. Bing has less money now since her second divorce."

"Second divorce?"

Annie explained that Nora had been married twice. Her first husband was Chandler's father, Mr. Bing, and they had divorced six years ago, while the second husband was merely a young gigolo who had left her this year. Nora had not changed her name for him.

"Chandler was only nine when his parents announced their divorce on Thanksgiving; ever since then, he's hated that holiday and won't celebrate it. He became very defensive, too, telling a lot more jokes and pretending that he was fine. The poor boy even started smoking-imagine that, a little boy smoking! I've tried to convince him to quit or cut back, but Nora says not to bother; to her, it's just a normal teenager's vice, and she willingly buys him the cigarettes."

Gloria was shocked by all these details, but even more shocked when she finally put the names together. "Wait a minute!" she gasped. "You mean that Chandler's mother is Nora Tyler Bing? The romance novelist?"

Annie realized that she had let slip too many details, and she admitted sheepishly, "Uh, yeah. But I'm not supposed to tell anybody, Gloria. Can you please keep it a secret? I don't want to get into trouble."

"Sure, I'll be careful, Annie. Wow! My son met somebody famous, and he didn't even know it! Does she look just like she looks on TV?" Gloria had seen a couple of Nora's talk show appearances.

Annie replied, "Well, she does have a good figure and wears flattering clothes. But she's not perfect, and her makeup is good for hiding flaws."

"Do you think I could meet her sometime? I could drop off Joey at the apartment one night, instead of you picking him up."

"Well, I don't know if it would seem accidental enough for you to hang around and meet Nora. You might look too excited, and she might figure out that I told you."

"But I-I could say that I just wanted to help her make up with Chandler, you know. And when I see her, I could say that I recognize her from TV."

"Hmm. I guess that might work. Do you think you could really help her make up with Chandler?"

"I can try."

"All right. Well, when do you wanna do it? Do you need to talk to your son first?"

"Oh, yes. But he's doing his homework with Vinnie right now."

* * *

After the boys finished their homework and put away their books, Joey asked Vinnie not to go home yet. "Come here." He patted the bed again.

Vinnie returned, and Joey hugged him close. "So, listen, I've got a date with Alice tomorrow night."

"I know." Vinnie nodded and lay his head against Joey's shoulder.

Joey continued, "I guess I'll probably have to ask Chandler to tutor me early so I can meet her afterward. Anyway, I'll call you if I have time, Vinnie, but we-we can't talk like we used to, okay?"

"Okay." Vinnie still felt disappointed that there would be no more dirty talk and no more pornographic sketches. He would have to rely on old memories for his erotic fantasies from now on.

Joey decided to recline against the pillows then, and he pulled Vinnie down with him. Vinnie became slightly nervous now, fearing that he would get turned on and embarrass himself. Joey didn't notice though, because he had something on his mind.

After he got comfortable, Joey said quietly, "Hey, Vinnie, I was thinking-do you know how many gay kids there are at school?"

Vinnie shrugged and tried to relax in his arms. "I don't know."

"But there's gotta be some kids who are, right? 'Cause they act like... you know."

"Like Chandler?" Vinnie suggested.

Joey ignored that and said, "Well, like some of those guys in the drama club who get way too excited about the plays."

"Yeah, I guess so." He still didn't see Joey's point, and he idly wondered whether it would be out of line to smell Joey's hair right now.

Joey rambled on, "I mean, maybe you gotta be careful not to assume things, in case you're wrong about someone, like Chandler, but there has to be a way to tell, right?"

Vinnie lightly touched the cross hanging from Joey's neck and confessed, "I-I saw two guys making out once, behind the gym."

"Really? Wow." Joey was surprised, but glad to learn this piece of gossip. "Good. So maybe you should, um, go meet those guys, and talk to them about being gay."

Vinnie frowned and looked up, letting go of the cross. "Why?"

Joey blinked and asked, "Why not?"

"'Cause I don't know them. Why would I wanna talk to them about stuff?"

Joey said, "I-I just thought it would make you feel better, Vinnie, to know some other gay kids. Like, maybe you need somebody who understands you better than me. And who knows? You could really hit it off with a guy and date him."

Vinnie shook his head and feared that Joey was trying to get rid of him. "I don't want to. I don't want some other guy. I want-" He broke off and turned away, knowing that he could not continue.

Joey knew what he meant, though, and whispered tenderly, "I'm sorry, Vinnie. I'm sorry." Joey kissed his cheek and made Vinnie turn to face him again. "But I want you to be happy, you know?"

"I'm happy with you," Vinnie whimpered. "If you'd just... let me be close, and tell me about what you do with girls..."

"No." Joey gulped and shook his head. "No, I can't. It's, uh, it's too weird now."

Vinnie gave up, but felt sad that what used to be normal for them was now "weird." The irony was that they were now embracing much more frequently and intimately than they ever had before, yet Joey didn't think it was weird.

Joey sighed and caressed his shoulder. "Look, maybe you don't want somebody right now, Vinnie, but someday you will. Someday you'll meet a guy that you like and that likes you too, and then-"

"No!" Vinnie pouted and didn't even want to think about it. Why couldn't Joey love him back? Why hold him this way, if he wouldn't kiss him and touch him too?

"Come on, Vinnie. What are you gonna do, not date for the rest of high school? For the rest of your life?"

"I don't know." Vinnie shrugged. He had always assumed that he and Joey would go get married and have kids like everybody else they knew, but they would stay close, and secretly love each other in their hearts. But now, having kissed him, and learning that Joey didn't feel the same, Vinnie only felt miserably alone.

Joey insisted, "You should find someone, and-"

"No. No." He looked away and came close to tears. "It's-it's a sin to be a fag. It's an abomination... and I-I have to pray..."

Joey shook him firmly. "No, Vinnie. Don't talk like that. You're not going to hell. I mean, God is supposed to be about love, and He loves you just the same as anybody else." He added, "And I love you too, no matter what."

Vinnie closed his eyes and clung to Joey's arms, moaning, "I love you." Of course, he meant it in a different way.

Joey held him and kissed his cheek comfortingly again. Vinnie nestled against Joey's chest and listened to his heartbeat until he calmed down. He even fell asleep.

Then Joey brooded over Vinnie being in love with him. He had actually said the word "love," not merely "like" or "want" this time. Joey had hoped that Vinnie only had a crush on him, and that it would fade once he understood that Joey was straight, but it seemed that Vinnie's feelings were serious and deep. Joey hated breaking Vinnie's heart.

At last, he glanced at the clock and saw that it was getting late. They couldn't stay like this much longer. "Hey. Hey, Vinnie." Joey gently woke him.

Vinnie blinked and looked up at him. "Huh?"

Joey said, "Uh, you better go home now before your mom gets worried."

"Oh. Right." Vinnie reluctantly let go of Joey and sat up, straightening his hair and making sure that his eyes were dry.

Getting up from the bed, Joey grabbed his backpack and tossed it to Vinnie. He tried to resume a casual tone as he unlocked the door. "Anyway, tell your parents that we won't go to Central Park, and we got a map now."

"Okay." Vinnie reached for his shoes and put them on. Then he shrugged on his backpack and softly said goodnight.

"Goodnight."

After Vinnie trudged away, Joey returned to his bed and worried. Was he letting Vinnie cling too much to him? Should he still try to speak to a high school counselor about Vinnie? Or if he talked to their parish priest, would it only result in a fire and brimstone lecture? Should he dare ask Chandler about his gay dad, and tell him about Vinnie's feelings?

However, his mother arrived and interrupted his thoughts. "Joey?"

"Ma?"

She came in and shut the door. "Why didn't you tell me what happened at Chandler's place last night? How his mother came in and thought that-"

Joey gasped and looked embarrassed. "Huh? How do you know about that?"

"I'm friends with Annie, remember? She just called me, to explain things and apologize."

"Oh."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

Joey squirmed and looked guilty. "Chandler asked me not to tell anybody. He was really upset about it."

"Well, from what Annie says, he's still upset, and he won't talk to his mom anymore."

"Really?" Joey was surprised and got worried.

"Yeah, she keeps apologizing for getting drunk and jumping to conclusions, but he just locks himself in his room and smokes."

Joey felt bad, and got worried about Chandler.

Gloria said, "It's terrible! So I think maybe I should drive you there the next time you see Chandler, and then I could try to help him make up with his mother."

"What? No, it's private and just between them. We shouldn't interfere."

"But it involved you too, Joey. You were there when they fought."

"But it's not our business. And he's gonna be embarrassed if you know too, and he might get mad at me."

Gloria frowned. "It's not your fault, Joey. It was Annie, and-" But Gloria couldn't pin the blame on Annie; she had to convince Nora that the meeting was accidental, not engineered by her maid.

Joey said, "No, Ma, don't do this, please. Can't you just keep taking care of Mary Angela and make sure she's okay?"

Gloria sighed and gave up, realizing that she would have to plan something else with Annie. "All right, but-but tell him to stop being mean to his mother. It's not right, for a son to break his mother's heart like this."

Joey reluctantly agreed. "I'll try." As if he didn't have enough problems to deal with now.

"Good. Now go to bed." She gave him a kiss goodnight.

"All right, Ma."


	20. Joey's Invitation

**In episode 111, everyone thinks that Nora's a cool mom, but Chandler says, "Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of _Mistress Bitch_."**

* * *

After Nora gave up trying to talk to him, Chandler turned down his stereo and went to bed. He slept poorly, though, and cracked the window open to let all the cigarette smoke out. Chandler still wished that he could talk to Joey again. But he shouldn't call him this late, and Mary Angela might pick up the phone.

With a sigh, Chandler hoped to see Joey at school tomorrow, but then he remembered that Vinnie would probably hang around Joey all day. Chandler got mad at him for hogging Joey's time. What did Chandler ever do to Vinnie, huh? If Joey could forgive him about Mary Angela, then what right did Vinnie have to hold a grudge? Was it some sort of Italian thing about family honor, like in those _Godfather_ movies? Was he even racist, and thinking that Joey shouldn't hang out with a non-Italian, non-Catholic kid?

Chandler resented having to tiptoe around Vinnie, and he wondered why Joey would indulge Vinnie like this. Just because they were best friends? For how long?

Chandler didn't have many long-term friends himself, because if they got too close, then they at some point would have to meet Chandler's family, which was just too humiliating. Also, when he was younger, Chandler often wondered whether people were his friends only because he was rich, and they wanted to play with his toys; as he got older, he feared that they just wanted to come and ogle his hot mother. So he kept people at a distance and made jokes to hide his insecurity.

At the boys' prep school, Chandler had made some friends, but even they had betrayed his trust. When he was 11, they all passed around page 79 from his mother's _Mistress Bitch_ book. That made him wary. Here in Queens, Chandler had made friends with Jack's group, but he still didn't feel that close to them yet, and he feared that they too would tease him if ever they learned the full facts about his screwed up family.

Joey on the other hand had been so nice and understanding when his mother barged in. He just hugged and comforted Chandler, and he even kept his promise not to tell anybody what happened. Chandler wished that he could be closer friends with Joey, and not just his tutor. If only Vinnie wasn't in the way.

* * *

On Wednesday morning, Chandler wanted to avoid his mom again, but she woke up early and decided to take a firmer approach with him. She waited for him in the kitchen and demanded, "Where were you yesterday afternoon, Chandler? Why did you miss dinner? You didn't even call me or Annie."

Chandler said nothing and considered leaving the apartment without breakfast. He could buy something at the school.

Nora blocked his exit. "Oh, you're still giving me the silent treatment? Look, I've done all the apologizing that I can do for Monday night, Chandler, but you keep acting like a petulant child. That's right, a child! You're still a kid, and I'm the adult. I don't have to take this from you. I'm your mom, and you can't avoid me forever. Talk to me!"

Chandler pouted resentfully. "Or else you're not gonna let me go to school?"

"No, you have to go to school. But I can ground you. I can send Annie to drive you there and pick you up, to make sure you don't go off disappearing like you did yesterday. You had me worried sick."

"You never cared where I went before. You always wrote your books or got drunk with some guy. You didn't care if I came home for dinner."

"Yes I did. I always had Annie or the staff have something ready for you." (Nora used the term 'staff' because she could not bring herself to speak of the houseboy anymore.)

Chandler scoffed at the idea that servants were supposed to substitute for mothering. "You sent me off to a boarding school, just so you wouldn't have to see me for nine months out of the year."

"No! I wanted to give you a good education!"

"And you sent me to my dad's in Vegas, where he made me dance in his show."

"I had to! The divorce settlement said that he had to see you part of the year. If I had my way, you wouldn't see him ever, and I wouldn't pay that bastard a cent of alimony!"

"Yeah, but then you got married again to that sleazy gigolo, and tried to make me hang out with him. I am not calling a 20-year-old guy my stepfather!"

"Fine! I'll be on the lookout for gold-diggers from now on! And don't get on me for sending you away to camp, either! You begged me to send you there for the summers."

"I know. To see girls, 'cause you wouldn't take me out of that all-boys prep school. You only did when you ran out of money."

"Because your education is important! Everyone gets embarrassed now and then in school, and I wasn't going to pull you out for one incident. Don't you think you humiliated little Susie Moss in the fourth grade? But she stayed in school."

Chandler shrugged, still only thinking about himself.

Nora continued, "But with this second divorce, we had to make lots of sacrifices. Do you think I like living out here in Queens instead of Manhattan? But I came here so we could get you on a waitlist to a good private school. And as long as we were living together again, I thought that we could spend time together at last, but you don't want that, Chandler. You don't want me to hang out with your friends, or meet this boy you're tutoring. You want me to be some invisible ghost who just buys you things and doesn't bother you. Well, you can't have that, Chandler. I'm your mother."

"You never acted like a mother before. Why do you have to start now?"

"Oh!" She was frustrated with his lack of respect. "That's it! You're grounded, Chandler, and I'm taking away your video games, and stereo, and cigarettes, and--"

"That's not fair! You're going to punish me, when you were the one who got drunk and ruined my tutoring session with Joey?"

"No, I'm punishing you because you disappeared yesterday and won't tell me where you went. I apologized for what I did, Chandler. You haven't."

"I hate you!" He ran back to his room and slammed the door, locking it again.

Nora groaned and slumped over the kitchen table. She asked Annie whether she should get a locksmith and take the locks off Chandler's door. Annie felt that they needed to calm down first, because all this fighting was getting them nowhere.

"Why don't I take him to school and try to talk with him again?"

"All right."

Annie went to his bedroom door and knocked repeatedly, telling him that he needed to go to school. "Or do you wanna stay home today? Maybe we could sit and talk about things..." Only too late did she realize that Chandler wasn't even there anymore; he had climbed out the window and down the fire escape. She glimpsed him on the street, scurrying away to school.

"Damn it!" Now they definitely had to take the locks off.

* * *

At school, Chandler barely had time to buy a small breakfast before the morning bell. He stuffed the food into his pockets and backpack so that he could snack in class.

Joey saw him and got worried, wondering what happened. So he told Vinnie at their lockers, "Uh, I gotta talk to Chandler at lunch and ask him about tutoring today."

"Oh." Vinnie looked away and kept his voice level. "I'll go sit with the Cardellini brothers, then."

Joey rubbed his arm affectionately and said, "It shouldn't take too long. Save me a seat."

"Okay."

So at lunch time, Joey went over to Chandler's table and greeted him. "Hi."

Chandler glanced in Vinnie's direction, then brightened up. "Hi. You wanna sit with us?"

Joey replied, "Uh, can we talk in private? I wanted to ask you about tutoring today."

"Okay. You wanna eat outside?"

"Yeah, come on."

Chandler excused himself from Jack and the others, then picked up his tray and followed Joey out of the cafeteria. They sat on the steps, where Chandler once spent lunch with Mary Angela.

Joey asked him, "You okay? You're not cold?"

"No, I'm okay. Uh, you don't mind if I smoke?"

"Oh, um, go ahead." Joey sat back a little as Chandler lit a cigarette. He started nibbling from his lunch tray.

Chandler took a puff and asked, "So you want to meet tonight, after dinner? Can you tell me where the library is and how late it's open?"

Joey corrected him, "Actually, I have a date tonight, so I was hoping that you could tutor me earlier."

"Oh. Well, what time?"

"Maybe about 4, I guess. Then we can work for a couple of hours, and I could go straight from there to my date."

"Okay. So where's the library?"

"Uh, are you sure you wanna do it there? Can't we meet at your place again?"

Chandler frowned and shook his head.

Joey asked, "Things are still bad with your mom?"

"Yeah." But he did not elaborate.

Joey sat closer and touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. It's hers."

"I, uh, I saw that you bought your breakfast this morning. Did something happen at home?"

He shrugged and murmured quietly, "We had a big fight."

"I'm sorry."

Chandler took another puff and admitted hesitantly, "I missed you last night."

Joey said, "I'm sorry I was busy. It's just, I already planned to see Vinnie, and my grades are getting better. I even passed that Shakespeare quiz."

"That's great!" Chandler congratulated him. "But you still need me, don't you?"

"Sure. I just don't have time everyday, and I can usually manage in my easier classes. Hey, maybe we can set up a regular schedule or something, but leave room in case of big tests or dates."

"Yeah, okay. And make sure that you don't have to leave early because of Vinnie or something."

"Yeah. Actually, Vinnie and me are gonna be busy all Saturday. We're planning to go to Manhattan."

"Why?"

"Oh, see the sights and hang out. We're gonna try to see an R-rated movie too."

"That sounds nice." Chandler felt a little jealous and wanted to ask if he could come along, but realized that Vinnie would probably refuse. "Does he still hate me?"

"He doesn't hate you. He just misses me, and he doesn't believe that you're not gay."

"Him too!" Chandler got mad. "I hate this! Why do people think I act gay?"

"I'm sorry, Chandler. But you did lie about it before."

"Yeah, but it's almost been a week. I wish people would believe me already. I wish I could get a date."

"You want to date again?"

"Yeah, why not? I told Mary Angela it was over, and I've been trying to meet somebody else, but nobody likes me. How'd you get a date so soon after Angela Delvecchio?"

Joey shrugged. "I just did. It's easy." When he saw Chandler's pout, he said, "Well, maybe I could fix you up with somebody. But we have to be careful, because I don't want to make Mary Angela get mad and jealous. Hey, why don't you come with me to the Halloween party?"

"Halloween party?"

"Yeah, it's Monday night at Jeanie DiFranco's house. I mean, I know Halloween's on Monday, but she wanted to have it on the weekend."

"I could really come with you?" He didn't see fit to mention that he'd been grounded, though. "What about Vinnie? Is he coming too?"

"Nah, he's got to work that night. I was gonna go either with a date, or alone to pick up chicks, but you could come with me, and I'll tell Mary Angela it's just a thank you for tutoring me so much. She doesn't have to know I'm fixing you up with anybody."

"Okay." Chandler smiled and nearly hugged him, but Joey stopped him and coughed.

"Uh, Vinnie still thinks you're gay. Let's be careful, until we're really alone."

"What? He thinks I'm trying to seduce you or something?"

Joey shrugged. "Well, I guess so. He doesn't buy that you're tutoring me for free just to be nice."

"That's crazy. What about Mary Angela?"

"But you broke up with her. There's no reason for you to keep doing it now."

"Well, I like helping you, and you begged me to."

"I know, and I'm really glad you said okay." He patted Chandler's shoulder. "So, um, we can talk more today at the library. Let me give you the directions."

"Okay."

Joey sketched directions to the library on a napkin, then got up and went back inside the cafeteria. He joined Vinnie while Chandler returned to his friends.

Vinnie wanted to say something about Chandler's attempted hug, but since the Cardellini brothers were there, he just said, "Hi," and ate his lunch.

Joey smiled at him and said, "Hi. So Chandler said he'd tutor me before my date tonight." Then he chatted with the Cardellinis about his date.

Vinnie asked questions now and then but mostly remained quiet and pensive, lest it look like he was desperate to get Joey talking about his sex life.

Joey didn't want to tell Vinnie yet about inviting Chandler to a party, and he wondered how he'd take it. Well, they could probably smooth things over this Saturday, while alone.

* * *

That afternoon, Joey met Chandler at the library, and they went to a private study room, where they could talk without disturbing other people.

Instead of immediately getting to work, Joey asked Chandler about his mom again. "Are you okay? Did you see her after school?"

Chandler frowned and admitted, "I didn't go home yet." He had to hide, in fact, to keep Annie from taking him straight home.

Joey hugged him. "Look, I know that it's none of my business, Chandler, but I really wish I could help you somehow."

"You--you can't. Besides, I don't want you to see her again. She's horrible."

Joey blinked, surprised by his fierceness. "But Chandler, she was just drunk and made a mistake."

"Why are you taking her side? You're my friend."

Joey hushed him and tried to calm him down. "I just--she's your mother. I mean, you gotta make up with her sometime. You gotta go home and see her. Wouldn't it be better if you weren't fighting? I mean, I don't know what happened this morning, but can't you at least try? Get Annie to help you or something. Then everything would be okay, and I could come over again, instead of meeting you here in the library."

Chandler looked hurt. "You want to see my mom again. You think she's hot!"

"No! No," Joey lied, and realized how strongly Chandler felt about this. "No, I wanna see you, Chandler. I promise I won't look at her, if it bothers you. But I want you to be happy too, and not have to sneak around, or buy your breakfast. I mean, I'm worried about you, Chandler. I don't want you to start smoking more or anything. And if things got really bad with your mom, what would you do, go stay with your dad? Where does he live?"

Chandler didn't want to talk about his dad, but he was touched by Joey's concern. He also realized that if he was grounded, he wouldn't be able to go with Joey to the Halloween party. "I-I guess I can try to make up with my mom, but it'll be hard."

"I know. It's hard when I fight with my mom or dad. But listen, if you need somebody to talk to, I'm here for you. I mean, as long as I'm not out on a date or something. But you got Jack and them too."

"Yeah." He hugged Joey lingeringly. "Thanks, Joe."

"Sure, no problem." He added curiously, "Hey, um, where does your dad live?"

Chandler only answered, "Far away. I don't wanna live with him."

They finally got out their books and began to work on Joey's algebra.


	21. The Big Trip

In a panic, Annie phoned her friend. "Gloria, Chandler didn't come home again. Have you seen him?"

"No!" She was shocked. "I-I thought he was tutoring Joey at your place."

"Here? No, we haven't seen or heard from Chandler since he sneaked out this morning. Do you have any idea where else they could have gone?"

Gloria hesitated. "I don't know. Maybe the library?"

"You don't know for sure?"

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't really pay attention to what Joey said because I was busy with the girls at the time. I only remember Joey saying that he had a date after his tutoring this afternoon; I told him not to stay out late because it's a school night."

"Well, can you give me the number of the library, so that I can call them to check?"

"Sure. Dina, get me the phone book!" While waiting, she asked Annie, "Have you already checked with Chandler's other friends?"

"No, we don't know their last names or phone numbers. What about Joey's friends? Do you think they might be at Vinnie's place?"

"I don't think so. Vinnie's at work now. Um, here's the library's number."

A short while later, Annie called the library. The clerk at the front desk said that the names sounded slightly familiar. "Let me check the sign-up sheet we have for the... Oh wait, I think I see one of them now."

Chandler left the study room to take a smoking break.

"He has brown hair and blue eyes. Green? Oh, maybe. I can't see him that closely." The clerk stood up and beckoned to Chandler. "Excuse me. You're Chandler Bing, right? There's a phone call for you."

"For me?" Chandler took the receiver, while the clerk motioned for him not to use the phone too long. "Hello?"

"Chandler! I've been worried sick!"

"Oh, hi Annie. How did you find me?"

"I had to ask Joey's mom for help, and she told me that you were tutoring Joey. Why didn't you come home? Or at least call?"

"Well, 'cause Mom grounded me, and I wanted to see Joey."

"Joey could have come here, if you'd just told us. You shouldn't keep sneaking off."

"Look, I just don't want to talk to Mom, okay?" He didn't want to argue, either, and he was growing impatient for a cigarette. "I'll be home at around six. Bye."

"Chandler!"

He gave the phone back, then walked outside to smoke.

The clerk was about to hang up, but Annie protested loudly, "Chandler, come back here!" Shushing her, he said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we can't tie up the main library line too long, especially if you're going to argue. If you need to speak to him, then can you come here in person? No, I don't think he's going to leave. His friend is still here and so are his books. Yes, I can give you directions."

As Chandler smoked, he pondered what exactly he was going to say to Annie later and how he would try to make up with his mother. He didn't really forgive her yet, nor feel in the mood to fake an apology. But he had to, if he wanted to spend time with Joey. With a sigh, Chandler put out his cigarette, then hurried inside the library again to resume tutoring.

Chandler was still checking over Joey's algebra problems when there came a knock on the door, and Annie entered the study room.

"There you are!"

A general "Shh!" came from the library staff and patrons, so she shut the door and lowered her voice. "Chandler, you come home right now."

"No! No, I have to tutor Joey."

"Your mother's waiting out in the car. Come on."

"No! Joey needs me." Chandler even took hold of his arm. "Tell her."

Joey felt caught in the middle, but he asked awkwardly, "Please? Just a few more minutes? I really need help."

Annie sighed and shrugged. "Fine. Five minutes. But I'm staying right here so that you can't sneak out and disappear again. You are in so much trouble, Chandler!" She grabbed a chair and sat down.

Chandler resented Annie's presence, and he became self-conscious as he helped Joey correct his algebra problems. After a moment, he wrote to Joey on a piece of scrap paper, "I'm sorry Joe. I wanted to stay and work on Shakespeare too."

Joey wasn't sure why Chandler didn't want Annie to overhear this, but he wrote underneath, "It's okay. I guess I'll just leave for my date early."

Chandler wrote back, "Maybe we can get together on Friday instead?"

"Yeah, if your mom will let you. We'll still go to the Halloween party."

Annie didn't suspect their secret conversation, but she fidgeted and fumed about all the things she was going to say to Chandler. When five minutes was over, she stood up and sternly announced the time. "Come on. Your mother's waiting."

With a sigh, Chandler stood up and stuffed his books into his backpack. "Uh, you have a good time on your date, Joe."

Joey nodded and said, "Good luck with your mom."

"Thanks."

Annie started to say goodbye to Joey too. "I'm sorry that you had to be in the middle again, but--"

Chandler interrupted her by suddenly turning back and hugging Joey tightly. Even if they weren't alone, even if people thought he was gay, he just didn't want to leave yet.

Joey blinked, but patted his back reassuringly. "You'll be okay."

"Chandler," Annie grumbled with annoyance. "No more stalling. Let's go."

He pouted, then reluctantly let go and followed her.

Annie called back a soft goodnight to Joey, before shutting the study room door.

* * *

On their way out of the library, she asked under her breath, "Why weren't you at school when I came to pick you up, Chandler? Did you skip out of your class?" 

He answered, "No, I just hid out in the gym, under the bleachers, and smoked."

"Chandler!" The librarians and patrons all shushed her, so she lowered her voice, and hurried them outside. "I was worried sick. And you sneaked out this morning too. Don't you ever do that again."

"Hey, you're not my real mom!

Annie would have objected, if not for the fact that she remembered Chandler saying this same thing to his father's boyfriend, more than once. He said it with all the drama and resentment of an afterschool TV special about divorce, but Annie had a feeling that he was quite sincere.

In the parking lot, Nora waited in the car and kept looking at her watch. Instead of her usual flamboyant dress, she was wearing dark glasses and a drab coat; she was not in the mood to be recognized by a fan or be asked for her autograph now.

Finally she spotted Annie and Chandler coming over, so she got out of the car. "What took you so long?"

"He wanted to finish tutoring Joey."

Nora sighed and opened the back door of the car. "Get in!"

After Chandler got inside, Nora insisted on joining him in the back seat instead of going back to the front, and she locked the doors pointedly.

Then Annie got in and started the car.

As they drove away, Nora scolded Chandler, "Is this where you were yesterday? You'd rather hang out in the library than come home and have dinner?"

Chandler forced himself to make nice. "I-I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

"You bet you won't. You're grounded for a month now."

"A month?" Then he'd miss the Halloween party.

"Yeah. And I want the full names and addresses of all your other friends too. Then we're going to call each of them to make sure you're not giving us fake information. I may be new to Queens, but I'm not stupid!"

"I know, I know. I won't lie, Mom, and I'm sorry. But I can't be grounded for a month. I still need to tutor Joey."

"You can tutor him at our place, where we can keep an eye on you."

"He's not my boyfriend!" he insisted, getting upset again.

"That's not what I meant, Chandler. I realize that you're not making out with him, but I don't want you to go sneaking off again, without a word or a note or a phone call. I mean, what next? Were you gonna not come home at all tonight? Make us worry to death and call the police?"

"No, I wasn't gonna stay out, Mom. I just wanted to see Joey."

"Why couldn't you do that at our apartment?"

"Because we were fighting, and you embarrassed me--"

"I said I was sorry for that! I made a mistake."

"I know." He hesitated and frowned. "It's just, I didn't want him to come and drool over you, like Jack and everybody else did. I-I just want one friend to like me for me."

Her face softened somewhat. "You've got plenty of friends, Chandler. They didn't come over because of me. They didn't even know me. They met you at school, and they liked you."

He shook his head doubtfully. "No, they just liked my jokes, and my new clothes, and my video games. Now they like you too, and pretty soon they'll figure out who you are, so then it'll be the _Mistress Bitch_ incident all over again."

"Don't be paranoid, Chandler. They seemed like nice boys, not superficial. Besides, even if something embarrassing did happen, you're not going to stay at that school for long anyway. You're still on the waitlist for that private school."

"Yeah, and then I'll have to start all over. Please, Mom. I-I just wanna see Joey."

"You really like him, huh? I mean, as a friend, not just a tutor."

He looked at his feet and admitted softly, "Yeah."

She thought it over and sighed, while Annie parked the car by the apartment building. Then they all got out and headed upstairs together.

Inside, Nora finally said, "Well, if you want to keep tutoring him, then you're going to have to tell us first. You understand? Work out some regular schedule with Joey so that we'll know when and where you are every night."

He nodded.

"And you've got to show me some respect because, like it or not, I'm your mother."

"I-I know." He added hopefully, "So you won't ground me?"

"No, you're still grounded, for all your sneaking around, but I'll make an exception for tutoring Joey. So, are you going to let me meet him this time, Chandler? I'd like to apologize to him for Monday night."

Chandler reluctantly agreed, since Joey had promised not to stare at his mom. "Okay. I'll ask him to come over on Friday night. But please don't stay too long. We still gotta get some work done."

"Fine. I can work on my book some more. But I want you to introduce me first, okay? I should get to know him, since he's your friend."

"You won't embarrass me?"

She sighed and seemed exasperated. "All right, no baby pictures, and no mention of your middle name."

"Good." Chandler started to go to his room, to change for dinner.

His mom told him, "Oh, we had to call in the locksmith today, and you're not getting the lock back on your door until I can trust you again. Plus, Annie's going to drive you everywhere while you're grounded, and if you try giving her the slip again, then you're not gonna get to see Joey either."

"Oh."

Nora noticed that Chandler looked really worried by that threat; maybe he would take his punishment seriously, then. "All right, go get ready for dinner, and then you're going to write me that list of friends before you do your homework."

"Um, okay." He went into his room and put down his backpack dejectedly. He might not be able to go to the party after all, if Annie was driving him everywhere. And with Annie being friends with Gloria, that made it harder to sneak out or pretend that Chandler was just tutoring Joey at the Tribbiani house.

So maybe Chandler would have to spend the next few days sucking up to his mom and begging her to make another exception.

* * *

Meanwhile, Joey took his backpack with him and met Alice for their date. They went to a local fast food joint before going to the park and making out on a bench. Joey also knew of a gazebo where they could have sex if they were quiet and no one else was already there. It would be better if one of them had a car, or their parents weren't home, but no such luck. 

Joey soon charmed Alice into going to the gazebo, but he was distracted by thinking of why Vinnie wanted to buy a car for them. He also remembered that Vinnie had wanted to watch him, and that Chandler actually had watched him with Angela Delvecchio. So Joey quickly finished and began to clean up. He told Alice, "It's a school night, anyway, and my mom wants me to study more."

"Okay, Joey."

He walked her home and kissed her goodnight, then headed back to his house. For the first time in years, the sex had only been "nice" for Joey, and not up to his usual standards of pleasure. He sighed and just tried to shrug it off.

"Hey, Ma, I'm home."

"Joey, did Annie come find you?"

"Oh yeah. She picked up Chandler at the library."

"Good. She sounded so worried, and I really thought that you'd gone to Chandler's place."

"Sorry. No, uh, he didn't want me to go there because he was still upset with his mom. But I talked to him and told him to try making up with her."

"Do you think he'll listen to you?"

He shrugged. "I hope so. Anyway, I'm gonna go study some more now."

She was pleased by his new work ethic. "Okay, Joey. Goodnight." She then decided to call Annie for an update on the Bings.

In his room, Joey did make an effort to study, but he felt restless and tempted to call Chandler, to ask him how things went with his mom. Then he thought about calling Vinnie too, but he worried that they'd fall into their old habits again and discuss sex. So Joey just had to give up and go to bed.

* * *

At lunch on Thursday, Joey asked Chandler how things went, and he said, "Well, I apologized to her, but she's still punishing me for sneaking out. She took all my video games and cigarettes and everything." 

"Really? Wow."

Chandler quickly added, "But we can still see each other, Joe."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, are you busy Friday night? She wants to apologize to you for Monday, and then I can tutor you."

"Okay, that's fine. Hey, can you still go to the Halloween party?"

"Maybe, but I gotta do some major groveling first, so she won't be mad anymore. Maybe you can help me convince her."

"I'll give it a shot I guess. But listen, if you can't make it, I'll figure out some other way to fix you up, then."

"Yeah, but I'd really like to go to the party with you. Should I wear a costume?"

"Costume? Nah. Jeanie sometimes likes to wear spooky makeup or something, but mostly it's just an excuse to party."

"Oh, okay. So no showing up with a bedsheet over my head."

"Nope. So I'll see ya Friday."

"Yeah. Thanks, Joe."

Joey avoided another hug from Chandler, then got up and returned to the cafeteria.

Vinnie asked him, "So he's gonna tutor you again?"

"Yeah, tomorrow night."

"Really? Wouldn't you rather be out on a date?"

"Yeah, usually I would. But since you and me are gonna be busy Saturday, and Jeanie's party's on Sunday, that only leaves Friday night."

"Oh. Okay." Vinnie felt happy that Joey had kept his promise to reserve Saturday for him.

Joey smiled and brushed his arm. "We're gonna have a great time, huh? Manhattan, baby!"

Vinnie laughed, and they talked more about their weekend plans.

That evening Joey visited Vinnie at work, and they hung out. Then they went home to Vinnie's house to study. This time Joey didn't try to encourage Vinnie to date, because clearly Vinnie was not ready to discuss such things. But Joey also decided to be more careful and not snuggle with Vinnie on the bed, either. He was trying to find a new balance to their friendship.

* * *

On Friday night, Joey decided to walk to Chandler's apartment, and he was nervous when he saw Nora again. She was so hot, and Joey had to look down at his feet to keep from leering at her. 

Nora thought he was doing this out of embarrassment. "Joey, I'm sorry about the other night when I barged in. I hope your grades didn't suffer because of it."

"No, uh, I actually passed my Shakespeare quiz all right."

"Oh good. Won't you sit down?" She had Annie make snacks and bring them over.

Joey took a seat, and glanced at Chandler to read his face. Chandler was tense too, and he sat close to Joey on the couch.

"He really needs me," Chandler said, still worried that his mother might make good on her threat to not let him see Joey anymore. "If he doesn't work hard, he might fail his classes and have to go to summer school."

Nora asked Joey, "Tell me about yourself. I understand that your sister was dating Chandler for a while."

"Uh, yeah, but they broke up--"

Chandler firmly cleared his throat because he didn't want to discuss Mary Angela. "Mom, Joey's got seven sisters. Can you believe that?"

Nora blinked in astonishment. "So it's eight kids all together? Oh my!"

"Yeah, we're Catholic," Joey said. "We've got, like, hundreds of cousins too."

They chatted for a while before Chandler finally ventured, "Um, Mom, there's a Halloween party on Sunday night. I wanted to go with Joey."

"A party? Did you forget that you're grounded, mister?"

"I know, but can't we make an exception? I haven't been sneaking out anymore, and I told you that I went to Jack's on Tuesday."

"I know, but I don't think I can trust you yet."

"It's not like I have anywhere else to go, or a car. And you've got everybody's phone numbers."

Joey did not understand these references, but he tried to help anyway. "I'll take care of him, Mrs. Bing. My mom would be mad at me if Chandler disappeared again, and made Annie upset. Don't worry."

Nora pointed out, "It hardly seems like punishment if I give in after only a couple of days."

Chandler pouted, while Joey just patted his shoulder and changed the subject. "Maybe we should go study now."

"Okay."

Joey grabbed his books and went to the dining table, while Chandler got up with a sigh and followed after him.

Nora watched Chandler's dejected face, then headed to her office. "Well, I'll get to work too." But she called Annie in to refill her drink and to talk.

"He really seems attached to Joey."

"Yes, but they're only friends, ma'am. I think it's nice, actually. You know how hard it is for Chandler to get close to anybody, with all his jokes and defensiveness. He's still not over the divorce."

"I know. I suppose a close friend would be less expensive than therapy," Nora joked. "Well, I'll think it over."

* * *

Saturday morning, Joey and Vinnie left on the bus to Manhattan. It was exciting to take their first unsupervised trip away from home, even if it was only for a day. At first the boys went around touring all the sights in Midtown, and Joey especially enjoyed sampling foods from the various street vendors. 

Then they found a movie theatre that was having a Halloween weekend marathon of gory horror flicks. Unable to resist, they used their fake IDs to get in, and then bought a huge tub of popcorn to share.

By the time they'd finished their fourth movie, it was late in the afternoon, and they needed to walk off all the food and soda. Joey consulted their map to check their bearings and then he noticed something. "Oh, there's Frankie's tailor shop."

So they went in to say hello, as Joey's dad had told them to do.

Joey began politely, "Hi, Mr--"

"Please, no Mister here. Everybody calls me Frankie."

"Okay, Frankie. I'm Joey Tribbiani, and this my friend Vinnie. You know my dad in Queens."

"Oh, Tribbiani! Yes, yes! I've known your father since he was your age, and now I'm doing the tuxes for his own daughters' wedding! Can you believe it? Time goes by so fast."

"Yeah, it's great. We're are all excited."

Frankie asked Vinnie, "And what about you, young man? I assume you're going to the wedding too. Do you need a tux?"

"Nah, my family goes to Luigi in Queens."

"Ah, too bad. I mean, he does all right with the suits, but I have the personal touch."

Vinnie struggled to not to openly roll his eyes at this, and he said, "Well we gotta go now."

Joey started to say his own farewells, too, but Frankie said, "What, so soon? No, no! You boys should stick around for a while. I mean, as long as you're here, Joey, I can take your measurements."

"Nah, not right now."

"Come on, it'll save you another trip out here. I'm not busy right now."

"Isn't it too soon? I might grow out of the tux by the time of the wedding."

"No, no! I can make allowances for that. I know how fast your father grew. Come here, I've got my tape measure." He insistently pulled Joey over in front of the mirrors, then started to measure him around the chest and arms.

Vinnie found a chair and sat down to wait, but he folded his arms with annoyance. As he watched Frankie measuring Joey, he started to get a weird feeling; there was something kind of creepy about Frankie constantly posing and touching Joey.

Then Frankie knelt down and said, "I'm going to do your inseam now," but he did much more than that.

"Hey! Stop that!" Vinnie got up and pulled Joey back.

Frankie tried to bluff, though. "No, no. Relax, boys. That's just how we do pants."

"No, it isn't!" Vinnie answered.

"That Luigi knows nothing about a snug fit!" Frankie told Joey, "Ask your father. That's how we always do his pants."

Joey looked confused and for a moment wondered whether Vinnie might be overreacting due to his love and jealousy, but soon he decided to just go with his own instinct. It was weird and surprising to feel some guy cupping him intimately. "I don't think I want that tux after all."

"Let's go!" Vinnie said firmly, and they stormed out together. They ran several blocks away from the tailor's shop, before stopping to catch their breaths.

"That creep!" Vinnie finally said.

Joey got out their map again and decided to catch the first bus home. Once they got back to Queens, they told the story to Joey's dad, who said, "But that's how they do pants."

Vinnie was stunned and said, "No, ask my dad, and my brothers. Nobody ever measures them like that."

So Joey Sr. called to ask, and he was quite shocked by the De Lucas' reply. "Oh my God. Whoa. Joey, I'm so sorry."

Mr. De Luca was upset enough to come over to the house and take Vinnie home. "You said that they were gonna be safe by themselves, but look at what happened!"

"I'm sorry. I really thought--God, all my suits!" He looked horrified and worried that he'd start losing even more of his hair.

The men began to argue in Italian, while Joey moved closer to Vinnie and put an arm around his shoulder with gratitude. "You saved me, huh?"

Vinnie nodded and held onto him protectively.

Mr. De Luca finished his rant with, "And we should call the cops on him!"

"All right, all right! And I guess I better use your tailor for the wedding too. I'm so sorry."

"Come on, Vinnie, let's go home. I don't know if I can even tell your mother about this. But no more trips by yourselves. Not till you're older."

Vinnie looked disappointed, but obediently left with his dad. As they walked down the neighborhood street, Mr. De Luca kept muttering under his breath about perverts and homos, unaware of how it would make his son feel. Vinnie was filled with self-loathing.

* * *

**Next chapter, some repercussions, and the Halloween party. Should I give a first name to Mr. De Luca? I originally thought that he'd be too minor a character to bother with, but maybe not.**


	22. That's Not a Date?

The next morning, Joey put on his church clothes and headed downstairs to breakfast. He told his mom that he wanted to go to Mass with the De Lucas.

"All right." Gloria was folding up several suits and putting them into a bag.

Joey Sr. was still freaked out about Frankie, and he wanted to donate his old suits to the church. He wasn't entirely comfortable wearing his Sunday best suit right now. "Maybe I can bless it with holy water, when we get to church."

"Yes, dear." She patted his shoulder comfortingly.

When Joey got to the De Luca's house, he said, "Hi, Mrs. De Luca. I wanna sit in your pew again."

"Well actually, Vinnie's not going to church this morning. He said he's sick from all the food you both ate yesterday."

"Oh no. Can I go see him?"

"Okay." She let him in, and Joey went upstairs.

Joey opened the door, and Vinnie lay in bed, hiding under the covers. "I don't want any medicine, Ma."

"No, it's me." Joey came in and closed the door.

Vinnie became anxious. "No, um, you better go, Joey. I'll make you sick."

"I thought you were sick from too much food, not germs."

"Uh, yeah, but I-I meant I'll get sick all over your nice suit."

Joey sat on the bed and pulled down the covers to feel his forehead. But he saw Vinnie's eyes and realized that he'd been crying. "What's wrong?"

Vinnie frowned and whispered, "I'm going to hell."

"No, Vinnie..." Joey hugged him, but Vinnie resisted and tried to turn away.

Mrs. De Luca came and knocked at the door. "Joey, everybody's leaving for church now."

Joey sat up. "Can I stay here with Vinnie?"

"Don't worry, I'll stay home and take care of him. You go on now."

"No, I wanna stay. Please."

"All right. I'll tell your mother when we get to church." Then she left.

Joey kissed Vinnie's forehead and said, "You're not going to hell."

Vinnie moaned, "Yes I am. I'm just like that tailor Frankie."

"No you're not. You're just gay. You're not a pervert."

"It's the same thing. It's a sin."

"No, it's not. Like, guys who are peeping toms, or who wear trenchcoats and flash women in the park--they're perverts, but that doesn't mean sleeping with girls is a sin."

Vinnie cried. "But I wanna touch you all the time, Joey. I wanna kiss you and..."

"I know. But that's not a sin, Vinnie. I wish I felt the same, because then I'd kiss you too, and show you it's not a sin." He leaned close and embraced Vinnie, throwing caution aside for comfort.

Vinnie said, "I didn't go to confession after I kissed you, Joey. I should have, before we went to Mass last week. I wasn't clean."

"Vinnie, you only have to do that if you have sex. I do that after all my dates."

"Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."

"What? No!"

"But it's too hard, Joey. I can't take the temptation. Maybe I should confess, and, um, go to one of those church things so I can get cured."

"No, no! There's nothing wrong with being gay."

"Yes there is. I'm going to hell."

"Vinnie!" Joey hugged him firmly. "Look, if you're going to hell, then so am I!"

"What?"

"Yeah. 'Cause I have all that premarital sex, you know, and I use condoms too. I do all the stuff that Catholics aren't supposed to do, and I don't even mean it when I go to confession either. It's almost too easy. You just confess to the priest, all's forgiven, and they don't tell your parents, even if they recognize your voice. I just say the words. I'm not sorry at all, and I'm not gonna stop. So I'm going to hell just as much as you are." He shrugged and added, "I mean, come on, Vinnie. Who can live by all these rules? Supposedly it's a sin even to jerk off by yourself."

Vinnie felt a little better. "So we're both going to hell?"

"Sure."

Vinnie laughed a little. "That's weird. I don't mind that."

Joey laughed too and kissed his cheek. "Me neither. It can't be that bad, as long as we're together."

Vinnie looked touched and hugged him.

Then Joey felt guilty and remembered that he hadn't confessed something yet. "Um, Vinnie, you know that Halloween party tonight?"

"Yeah. I wish I didn't have to work."

"I know. But the thing is, I'm gonna take Chandler with me."

"What?"

"But it's not a date!" Joey insisted. "I'm--I'm just doing it because he wants me to fix him up with a girl. See, he's not gay, and he doesn't want me."

Vinnie sighed and tried to believe that. At least Joey had confessed, and he seemed to mean it, unlike what he said about confessing his sins to priests.

Joey said, "I'm sorry, Vinnie. I'll make it up to you. We can't go on trips any more, but we can still be together every Saturday."

"What about the rest of the week?"

"Of course. Yeah, at church every Sunday, and any time that I'm not on a date or studying with Chandler. You're my best friend." He snuggled closer and kissed his cheek again.

Vinnie closed his eyes and blushed. "Joey, you're too close."

"I'm sorry." He pulled back. "But you're not mad about Chandler, are you? We're okay, right?" Joey didn't want them to fight again.

Vinnie shifted and took a breath to steady himself. "Yeah, fine, but don't get in bed with me anymore. I-I can't take that."

"Okay. Um, I'll go downstairs and get you breakfast. You wanna still go to church?"

"No, we're already late for Mass, and my mom thinks I'm sick anyway. Let's just go down and watch some TV, okay?"

"Okay." So Joey left the room, and Vinnie took a shower; he also committed a sin in there to relieve his desire.

* * *

Fortunately, Nora had finally agreed to let Chandler go to the Halloween party, and he had called Joey last night to tell him. 

So Joey came over that evening to help Chandler pick out some clothes for the party. They went into his bedroom and looked through his closet.

"Wow, you got a walk-in closet."

"Yeah, but most of this is all my preppy clothes. I wanted to throw them out, but my mom made me keep them 'cause I'm gonna go back to private school eventually." Chandler searched through his clothes with dissatisfication, then picked out some options and laid them on his bed.

Joey watched him, then finally ventured a question that he'd been wanting to ask, even if it were rude. "It must be great being rich, huh? And you're the only kid, so you don't have to share anything."

"Yeah, that's okay," Chandler said. "But money doesn't fix everything, and you never know when somebody really likes you." He glanced at Joey as if he would say more, but decided to look away and shrug dismissively. "Like my mom's boyfriends are always gold-digging gigolos."

"That must be hard. What about your dad? Do you ever see him?"

Chandler frowned and didn't answer. He held up some clothes against him and looked in the mirror, asking, "How about this, Joe?"

"Eh, I don't think so." Joey helped him pick out some other clothes, then Chandler went into his closet to change.

While waiting, Joey glanced around the room and noticed the posters on the walls. There was one from _Return of the Jedi_. "She looks hot in that gold bikini."

Chandler poked his head out and agreed, "Oh yeah, Princess Leia! She even had her hair down in that one."

Then Joey saw a _Godfather_ poster. "Oh hey, you like Al Pacino too?"

"Yeah, he's great. 'I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!'" Chandler had seen the miniseries on TV.

Joey replied with his favorite Pacino quote (from a different movie), "'You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!'" He grinned and added wishfully, "I wanna be an actor just like him." Joey had never told this to anyone besides Vinnie before.

"That's cool." Then Chandler exited the closet and stood in front of the mirror again. "How's that?"

"Good. Here, let me fix your hair." Joey mussed it up, then styled it with a comb from the dresser.

Chandler asked him, "So who's this girl you're gonna fix me up with?"

"Oh, she's named Gabby something."

"What's she like?"

"I don't know. Jeanie knows her."

Chandler pouted and felt hurt. "You don't even know my date?"

Joey put down the comb. "Chandler, all the girls I know are girls I've slept with, and you don't want to date one of them." He also sort of knew some girls who were friends with his sisters, but he often wanted to sleep with them too.

"Oh. But--but I don't care if she's kind of slutty, Joe. I could use some action."

"Nah, you'd never be able to compete."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Joey spoke more carefully, "I mean, um, you couldn't handle it. Face it, you've only gotten to second base with some girl at camp, with your clothes on, and you've been in prep school the rest of the time. You can't dive right into the deep end of the pool, you know. Take it easy for now."

Chandler pouted and sat on his bed. "That's easy for you to say. You're not a virgin."

Joey sat down and put an arm around him. "Don't worry, Chandler. You still got plenty of time to catch up. I'll show you all my moves too, when you're ready. But tonight is just about you getting a new girlfriend and proving to people that you're not gay. Just try to be cool and impress Gabby."

"I will. What kind of moves do you have?"

"Well, when I'm asking a girl out, I'll say, 'How you doin'?'"

"And that works?"

"Yeah! And, like, I've learned how to unhook a bra real fast too. I'm still working on doing it one-handed, though."

"Wow."

When they were done getting ready, they ate a light dinner with Nora and Annie.

"Your hair's messed up, honey." She reached to flatten it.

"No! I like it that way."

Joey explained, "That's the style."

"All right." Nora shrugged, then she watched Joey eating and was surprised by his huge appetite. "You certainly like Annie's cooking."

Joey remarked, as a reflex, "My mom's is the best."

When they finished eating, Joey out of habit helped clear away the dishes and loaded them in the dishwasher with Annie. "Wow, this is a big kitchen too."

Annie smiled. "You should have seen the one in their old apartment. Or their old house. Never mind." She realized that she was one step way from gossiping about Mr. Bing doing the houseboy in the walk-in pantry.

So they rejoined Chandler and Nora by the door. "You ready?"

"Yeah." Joey put on his coat.

Annie got her keys.

Nora made them promise to be back on time, but despite wanting to look stern, she beamed with pride. "Your first party, Chandler! Oh, you're realy growing up."

"Yeah thanks, Mom."

She hugged him. "I love you, kiddo."

He looked embarrased, but said, "Yeah, I'll see ya."

"Bye, Mrs. Bing."

* * *

Annie drove them to the party, but had to park further down the street because of all the cars close to the house. 

"Have a good time."

"Thanks."

The boys headed into Jeanie DiFranco's house together, while Annie picked up the car phone to chat with Gloria.

"Hey, Joey." Jeanie was indeed wearing some ghoulish makeup, though it was only more slightly dramatic than the glam eyeshadow and lipstick that was worn by so many rock bands, male and female, these days. "Is this the new kid?"

"Yeah, this is Chandler."

"Hi, Chandler."

"Hi, Jeanie." In his nervousness, Chandler hummed the "I Dream of Jeannie" theme song, but Joey nudged him, because clearly Jeanie was tired of this reference.

"Sounds like a good party," Joey said.

Jeanie said, "Come on in. I'll introduce you to Gabby."

The house was decorated for Halloween, but this was mostly in preparation for trick-or-treating tomorrow night; the party guests were cool teens who had outgrown both candy and pranks. Some funky rock music played, and nobody was in full costume, though some people had imitated Jeanie's style of sexy, vampirish makeup.

Gabby had overdone the hairspray for her Halloween hairdo tonight, but she was still a cute girl. "Hi, Chandler."

"Hi." He shifted nervously. "Uh, you look nice."

"Thanks. I like your hair."

Chandler smiled and glanced toward Joey, only to find that he wasn't there. Joey had decided to drift away, in order to not upstage Chandler. He was also chatting up some other girls at the party.

"So you just transferred here?" Gabby asked. "Where are you from?"

Chandler told her a little about himself, but was careful not to say too much. "Well, I've been in a prep school upstate, but my mom just got divorced, and we ended up here in Queens to save money."

"Well, how do you like it so far?"

"It's pretty cool. So you're from around here, huh?"

"Yeah."

They sat down and chatted for a while, but Chandler was not nearly as cool as he wanted to be. He made several jokes, and she laughed, but found his punchline sound effect of "ba dum bum chessh" kind of annoying.

Chandler became increasingly awkward and sweaty, and his mouth dried up. So he got some punch for them.

Then Gabby said that she wanted to dance, so they put down their cups and got up. Chandler did not have much practice dancing, though, and he was quite clumsy.

"Watch out!"

He knocked into somebody, and spilled punch all over himself. Chandler ran off in embarrassment, while Gabby apologized to the guy who lost his punch.

Joey saw the accident, and found Chandler, showing him to a bathroom. "You okay?"

Chandler sat down on the bathtub and put his head in his hands. "I totally bombed!"

"No, you didn't. Come on, you just need to relax."

"No, I can't. I don't know how to talk to girls."

"How'd you talk to Mary Angela?"

Chandler shrugged. "Well that was easy, because she was coming onto me most of the time."

"Really?" Joey looked worried and wondered how soon his sister would start dating again.

"Yeah, you know, at my locker. And with my camp girlfriend, I guess there weren't a lot of guys to choose from, and Julie just wanted to make out."

"Well who says that Gabby doesn't want to make out too? But you gotta not be so nervous, Chandler. Girls like confidence."

"Maybe I should just go home, Joe. My shirt's ruined anyway."

"It's not ruined. You can wash it out. Even if it stains, you got plenty of shirts left. Come on, take it off. I'll go out and send Annie home to get you a new shirt."

"Okay." Chandler sighed and started to unbutton his shirt.

At the door, Joey turned back to ask if Chandler needed some towels, but then he saw something. "Hey, what's that?"

"What?" Chandler looked up.

Joey came back and pointed toward his bare chest.

Chandler blushed and murmured, "It's--it's my nubbin."

"Nubbin?"

"It's a... third nipple kind of thing."

"Oh, right! Vinnie told me about that."

Chandler looked confused. "How does he know about it?"

"Well, he heard some gossip from those guys who are in the same gym class as you."

"Oh."

Joey sat down and kept staring at it.

Chandler felt like a freak, and he closed his shirt, muttering, "When I grow up, I'm gonna find a doctor and get rid of this!"

"What, really?"

"Yeah. If money's good for anything, then I can get this sliced off, and make sure there's no scar either."

"No!" Joey protested. "No, don't do that, Chandler."

"Why not? It's just a tiny useless bump."

"But maybe it's not useless. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise." Joey told him, "Yeah, my uncle Sal was born with a really big tongue, see, and he hated it for years, 'cause hardly anybody could ever understand what he said. But then he learned that he could... uh, do stuff with it, and he got a really beautiful wife."

Chandler blinked as he realized what Joey meant.

Joey continued, "So maybe there's something cool that this nubbin can do."

"Like what?"

"You know, what regular nipples do, only better."

"What?"

Joey couldn't believe that Chandler was so innocent. "Man, you really have done nothing, have you?"

Chandler got offended again. "Yeah, I told you that Julie and me kept our clothes on."

"Sure, but you never tried anything when you were at home, by yourself?"

He was embarrassed, and spoke softly, "Well, like jerking off... But what does that have to do with nipples?"

"Because you can rub them with your free hand. Come on, you never tried rubbing it before?"

"No. Why would I do that?"

"'Cause maybe it would get hard and um..." he searched for the proper word, "sensitive."

Chandler still had no idea what Joey was talking about. "You mean like a purple nurple? But that doesn't feel good at all."

"No, no, you can do it so it feels good. Not twisting or pulling, but more like... flicking."

Chandler remained skeptical, so Joey decided to demonstrate. He opened Chandler's shirt again and reached for one of his regular nipples.

Chandler was shocked and wide-eyed, but Joey leaned in and just caressed him softly. To his surprise, it did feel nice. Very nice. Chandler caught his breath and noticed how close Joey was sitting to him.

Joey kept touching him, and then he reached for Chandler's nubbin, still staring at it with fascination. But it was more than curiosity, and he was pleased by Chandler's reactions. "See?"

"Uh-huh." Chandler was getting sweaty again, and hazy.

Joey whispered, "I-I like it when a girl knows how to rub my nipples too... and lick 'em." He half closed his eyes, getting lost in the fantasy. "And God, when you get a virgin, and you teach her stuff... it's so hot."

"Joe."

Joey finally turned to his face and kissed him, hard. Chandler moaned, and they sank deeper into the kiss. They embraced passionately, and Joey continued to tease Chandler's chest with one hand.

They might have gone past second base, if not for someone knocking on the door.

"Hello? Is somebody there?"

Startled, they broke apart, and Joey stood up nervously. "Uh, uh, just a second." He leaned against the door and caught his breath. He glanced at Chandler, and then at himself in the mirror. "Oh God. I'm sorry. I-I don't know what..."

Chandler closed his shirt and tried to compose himself too. "I--we should go home."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay." Joey swallowed, then turned around and slowly opened the door.

The boys hurriedly got out of the way of the girl waiting for the bathroom, then they rushed out the front door, not even stopping to apologize to Jeanie and Gabby for leaving the party. Then they ran to Annie's car and climbed inside.

"What's wrong?"

Chandler showed her the punch stain. "I-I gotta change my clothes."

"Oh. Well, okay. If we hurry, it won't set, and you can come back soon."

So she hung up on Gloria, and drove to the Bings' apartment, while Joey and Chandler sat silently in the car, glancing at each other nervously.

When they arrived, the boys hurried upstairs, and Nora greeted them with surprise. "Back so soon?"

"I-I spilled some punch."

"Oh."

Annie said, "Go change out of that, and I'll soak it before I take you back to the party."

Chandler said, "Uh, I-I don't want to go back."

"What?"

"Yeah, uh, it was a disaster." He searched for some excuse. "I'm--I'm not ready to date yet. I'm sorry, Joe. Goodnight." He rushed back to his room and shut the door.

Joey considered leaving too, but Nora and Annie interrogated him worriedly. "What happened? Is he okay?"

Joey shrugged. "It's too soon, after Mary Angela. I'm just gonna go now."

"No, no, Joey. Can't you at least talk to him?"

"Yes, try to get him to go out again? Please?"

"Okay." So Joey went into his room and shut the door behind him.

Chandler was sitting on the bed, fumbling with his shirt buttons, and he became self-conscious when Joey entered. There was a tense silence, until Chandler finally whispered, "I-I'm not gay."

Avoiding his eyes, Joey came closer and spoke with guilt, "I know, Chandler. It was my fault. I-I shouldn't have touched you. I don't know what got into me."

"So we should--should forget about it. Pretend it never happened."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Then they met each other's eyes, and the desire was too much. Joey climbed onto the bed, and suddenly they were kissing again, frantically. Chandler started pulling at Joey's shirt too, and they lay down in a tangle of limbs.

* * *

**I'm debating how far they'll get before Nora and Annie catch them. Or should they catch the boys at all?**


	23. A Painful Surprise

While waiting in the living room, Nora and Annie sat down and discussed the boys.

"That was strange."

"Yes," Annie agreed. "What was all that about Chandler not being ready to date again? Is he seeing a new girl?"

"He certainly didn't tell me that," Nora complained. "I thought Chandler just wanted to go with Joey and hang out as friends."

Annie guessed, "Well maybe he met someone at the party tonight."

"Maybe. Did they say anything to you, on the ride home?"

Annie shook her head. "No, they didn't tell me anything, except that Chandler spilled some punch on his shirt."

"Hmm. Are you sure that he spilled it on himself? Maybe the girl threw it at him, and that's why he's not ready to date again."

"Well, he didn't actually say who spilled it. But why would she do that?"

Nora shrugged. "Maybe one of Chandler's sarcastic jokes came off like an insult, or maybe it was Mary Angela, and they got into some fight about their breakup."

"Oh!" Annie nodded and found that plausible. "But the boys didn't mention her or any other any girl on the ride home. They were very quiet."

"Maybe they were too embarrassed. Honestly, Chandler overreacts about everything!"

"He probably also thought that you wouldn't let him date, since you grounded him."

Nora sighed. "Well, if he asked me, we could at least talk about it, and I could tell him that one bad date isn't the end of the world. But he just won't communicate with me, Annie! I mean, he's hardly said a word to me about Mary Angela or the breakup."

"Well, teenagers can very private and withdrawn. Besides, ever since Chandler stopped going to therapy, he hardly does anything besides make sarcastic jokes."

"So now Chandler's just hiding out in his room, and he won't go back to the party."

Annie sighed. "I guess we have to hope that Joey can cheer him up."

"I guess so." Nora took another sip of her drink.

After waiting silently for some moments, Annie looked at her watch and remarked, "If I don't wash out that stain soon, it'll set."

"Well, you better go get his shirt then. Check up on them for me."

"Yes, ma'am." Annie got up and went down the hall.

* * *

In Chandler's room, the boys were still making out on the bed. Joey's shirt was already off, while Chandler's was open and untucked, but neither boy was brave enough to fumble with their jeans yet. As they kissed, Chandler occasionally ran his fingers along Joey's shoulders and through his hair, but he felt mostly out of his depth. He had never had a girl in his bed, let alone a boy. 

Joey noticed that Chandler's mouth still tasted like the cigarettes that his mother took away a few days ago, but it did not ruin his enjoyment. Joey also loved hearing the soft little sounds that Chandler made deep in his throat.

However, Chandler had to keep breaking off their kisses in order to breathe; he had rather poor lung capacity due to his many years of smoking, and he hadn't had much practice French kissing, either.

Joey kissed Chandler's neck and chest instead, letting his fingers graze the nubbin again. To his surprise, he didn't need to imagine a girl in his arms, or to even glance up at the poster of Princess Leia in the gold bikini. Chandler was warm enough and real enough on his own.

Their jeans felt increasingly tight, and sooner or later, they would have to address their mutual arousal. Joey looked up and met Chandler's eyes, but still couldn't bring himself to speak. He wasn't sure how much further they could, or should, go together.

Suddenly Annie knocked on the door, startling them. As he had done many times when caught fooling around with a girl, Joey rolled off the bed and onto the floor.

"What was--?" Annie started to turn the knob.

"Wait, Annie!" Chandler called out. "I'm--I'm changing my clothes."

"Okay." She waited outside the door. "But what was that noise?"

"Uh, Joey just tripped on something. He's fine."

"Okay." Then she added, "Chandler, I need to wash out that stain on your shirt."

"Uh yeah, just a minute!" Chandler found Joey's shirt on the bed and tossed it to him, whispering, "Get dressed."

Joey was still hard, though, and needed to hide it. "Uh, can you just give her your shirt, and then lock the door?"

"I can't. My mom took the lock off."

Crap. So Joey put on the shirt and vainly tried to think unsexy thoughts. Sandwiches. Baseball.

Meanwhile, Chandler got out of bed and changed into a fresh t-shirt from his dresser drawer. After fixing up his bed hair, Chandler cautiously went to the door, which he opened only slightly, so that he could half hide behind it.

"Here you go." He tossed the stained shirt to her and almost shut the door before she stopped him.

"Chandler!"

"Sorry."

Annie asked, "So do you feel better now? Are you going back to the party?"

"Uh, no, you don't have to drive us back, Annie. We'll just hang around here, okay?" He started to close the door again.

"Chandler, wait!" She said, "You know, you didn't even tell us that you were dating. Who was this girl tonight?"

"Girl?" Chandler blinked and took a moment to understand her. "Oh, at the party! Right!" Damn, he had totally forgotten her name. "Um, I don't know her really. Joey's friend knows her... Anyway, it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm never gonna see her again."

"Oh, don't talk like that!" Annie spoke encouragingly. "Whatever happened with her, I'm sure it's not that bad. You might feel better if you talked to your mother."

Chandler shrugged. "Nah."

"No, you should. She's really worried about you."

"She is?"

Annie took his question as sarcasm, and rolled her eyes. "Yes! She does love you." Then with a sigh, she left and took the shirt to the laundry room.

"Okay, bye." Chandler quickly shut the door and turned back to Joey, who was still lying on the floor. "Hey, my mom might come check on us in a minute. We better act cool."

Joey protested, "But I-I can't look at her now, after we..." It was quite embarrassing, and he wasn't all that calm yet.

Chandler suggested, "Well, uh, go in my closet and pretend that you're picking out a new shirt for me."

"Okay." So Joey got up and hurried into the walk-in closet.

Chandler sat on the bed and pulled the covers over him, trying to make it look like he alone had disheveled the sheets. He also mentally worked on his cover story and listened for his mother's approach.

After speaking with Annie, Nora soon knocked and opened the door. "Chandler?"

"Yeah?" He had trouble meeting his mother's eyes too, but he hoped that she would just think he was moping about the disaster at the party.

"Oh, honey..." She sat on the bed with him and tried to put an arm around his shoulder.

"Mom!" He moved away and stared at his feet in false sadness. "I-I don't wanna talk now."

"But you should, kiddo. It'll make you feel b--" Then Nora noticed. "Where's Joey?"

"In my closet. He's getting a new shirt for me."

Joey partly opened the door, while holding several hangers of fancy shirts in front of him. "Yeah, don't mind me!" he called out, then shut the door again.

Nora smiled at Chandler. "Oh, so you changed your mind? You're going back to the party?"

Chandler shook his head. "Uh, no. He's just trying to convince me, but I don't wanna go out now."

"Why not? You should listen to him."

"No, no! I'm too embarrassed, and I-I told you, I'm not ready to date again yet. I just wanna hang around here with Joey."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Mom, please." Chandler insisted. "I mean, you grounded me anyway, so I should stay home. Just leave me alone with Joey, okay?"

Nora felt hurt and excluded, but she realized that maybe Chandler preferred talking to a male friend about his love life, so she reluctantly sighed. "All right, but any time you want to talk, you just let me know, okay?"

"Okay."

She kissed his forehead, then got up and left.

Chandler was relieved after she shut the door. He called to Joey, "She's gone."

Joey somewhat loudly and clumsily hung the clothes back up, then came out and asked, "She doesn't know?"

"No, it's okay." Chandler started to pull him close for a kiss, but Joey nervously turned away and cleared his throat.

"Uh, maybe I should get out of here before we get caught."

"No, no. They won't come back, and I told my mom to leave us alone." Chandler grabbed his arms. "If you go, she'll just keep nagging me about that girl."

Joey considered that. "But they might hear us, and you don't got a lock."

"I got a lock on my bathroom door. We can go in there." So he stood up and pulled Joey into his private bathroom. He locked the door and switched on the light, then turned around expectantly.

Joey just stared at him hesitantly.

Chandler felt insecure about his kissing skills. "I mean, y-you liked it, right?"

"I, uh, yeah," Joey admitted. But he was still confused about it.

"So..." He stepped nearer, and their eyes met again, until they sank into another kiss.

Joey grabbed Chandler's face, and starting moving him back against the door.

This reminded Chandler of when Mary Angela felt him up in a bathroom stall before. As he felt Joey get hot again, Chandler reached to grope him through his jeans.

That touch set Joey off with a moan, and he passionately pushed Chandler against the cold tiled wall.

Chandler embraced Joey tightly, and once Joey let him breathe again, he smelled Joey's hair, and turned his neck invitingly. Joey kissed him and started pulling off Chandler's t-shirt.

They continued to undress, and after a while they sank down, toward the bathtub rim, which reminded them both of being at Jeanie DiFranco's house. Now no one could stop them from getting past second base.

* * *

Several minutes later, they were sweaty and sticky when they slid off the bathtub onto the fancy bathroom rug. They sat naked and close together, while their clothes were scattered around the bathroom. 

Chandler panted and blinked. "That was--Wow. Is it always like that, Joe?" He'd never had sex before, other than the solitary kind.

Joey shrugged. "I don't know. I-I never did that before."

"Me neither." Chandler felt a little better about his inexperience, and he nuzzled against Joey's neck warmly. Earlier, he had been afraid at times that Joey was getting too rough with him, but Joey had merely groped and humped against him in a rather haphazard way, making things up as he went along.

Joey caressed Chandler's shoulder, but did not know what to say. He never thought before that he could enjoy sex so much, when it wasn't fucking. That was what he did best with girls, and if he ever did anything different on a date, it was just to get the girl to agree to full intercourse later.

But Chandler wasn't a girl, of course, which changed everything. Joey wasn't so confident and prepared this time, and even if he were, he didn't want to rush Chandler into something that probably would hurt a lot.

Chandler kissed him and said with a smile, "Well, even if we--we didn't do it right, it was still really good, Joe. Maybe we could try some more another time. I mean, if I could just talk my mom into giving me back my lock first. And my stereo too, so we could play it loud, you know?"

"Yeah." Joey imagined what it would feel like to fuck Chandler in his bed. Would he clutch the pillow and gasp, "Joe" over and over? It almost made him hard again.

Chandler finally shifted and said, "Well, maybe we should clean up now. So Annie doesn't find this mess."

"Uh, right." They got up, and Joey reached for the bath towels first.

Chandler asked, "You wanna take a shower?"

"I guess so."

They stepped into the tub together and closed the curtain, while Chandler turned on the water. Then they somewhat nervously washed each other clean, but decided that they shouldn't get carried away.

Afterward, they got out and dried off. Chandler put on his bathrobe and picked up his clothes. "You wanna borrow anything, Joe?"

"Nah, my clothes are okay." And he didn't know how he'd explain changing his clothes to anybody.

Chandler unlocked the door, then went out to his bedroom. He listened at the door again, just to make sure that Annie wasn't coming by to drop off his shirt or anything. He propped a chair in front of the door, just in case.

Joey peeked out and asked, "Would anybody hear it if I used the blow dryer?"

"Probably, but go ahead. I'll tell them I showered to get the gunk out of my hair."

"Okay."

Chandler dried his hair with a towel and straightened up his bed a little more. He considered how much sucking up, and for how long, it would take to convince his mom to give him back his lock and stuff.

However, he also thought about whether his mom would get suspicious and ask him again if Joey was his boyfriend. Chandler frowned and remembered how angry and upset he had been. So why wasn't he upset now? Was he becoming gay like his father?

Joey finally came out, and said, "Thanks."

"Uh, you're welcome." Chandler looked at Joey and didn't know what to say now.

Joey also felt somewhat awkward, and didn't know if he should sit down on the bed again. "I, uh, maybe I should go home now."

Chandler said, "If you want to."

"Yeah. I mean--" He was afraid that he'd hurt Chandler's feelings. "Uh, just so we don't get caught." He leaned over and kissed Chandler's lips softly. "I'll still see you tomorrow at school, you know?"

Chandler melted a little with the kiss, and he nodded. "I know."

"And maybe I'll come over for tutoring too."

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay. Goodnight." He started going toward the door.

"No, wait." Chandler stopped him. "Do you mind going down the fire escape instead? If my mom knows that you're gone already, she'll come nag me again."

"Oh."

Chandler led him to the window and opened it. "See, that street leads back to the front of the building."

"Okay." Joey climbed out the window and said goodnight again.

"Goodnight." Chandler kissed him, then watched him climb down.

Against his will, Chandler began to think of his dad again. He remembered many traumatic moments when, as a child, he accidentally walked into the pool house at bad times. Of course, his mother had sneaked around with various men too, and even used the houseboy as a pawn in a twisted attempt to get revenge.

Now Chandler's Dad was living in Vegas with his "business associates," while Chandler and Nora were living here in Queens. Queens--was that prophetic, somehow? Was he going to turn into some horrible drag queen too? Chandler cringed at the thought.

When Joey reached the street and hurried away, Chandler sighed and shut the window again. He decided to change into his pajamas, and he tried his best not to worry. Whatever this was between him and Joey, it felt good. Joey was his real friend, and he didn't want to lose him.

As Chandler got into bed, he reflected that in one way he had lost his virginity tonight, and in other ways he hadn't. Was he really going to let Joey fuck him later? He didn't know.

* * *

After leaving the apartment building, Joey paced around the streets for a while, feeling insecure as well. He just had sex with Chandler. He had gay sex. How in the world did that happen? In a moment of rising panic, Joey even felt like going back to the party and having sex with a girl to cure himself. 

But Joey stopped and thought of Chandler with guilt; even if Chandler never found out, Joey couldn't bring himself to treat him like that. Joey cared about him. He couldn't just toss him aside like any other girl he'd seduced. If he was uncomfortable, the least he could do would be to talk it over with Chandler first, and tell him that he couldn't handle this.

Besides, maybe it didn't really count as gay. Maybe as long as Joey was in control and on top, it didn't matter. Chandler was practically still a virgin after all, and Joey could teach him everything. It would be like reciprocating; Chandler tutored him in class, and Joey could tutor him in sex. Maybe they could be like friends with benefits.

So Joey walked home.

However, as he approached the house, Mary Angela saw him from the window, and she came out onto the porch to confront him angrily.

"So did you have a good time with Chandler?"

Joey froze and looked shocked. "H-how did you know?"

She explained, "Jeanie called here to ask where you guys disappeared to. She told me that were fixing him up with Gabby."

"Oh." Joey was relieved.

"Is that all you can say, Joey? 'Oh'?" She felt betrayed by his interference. "What happened? Chandler didn't like Gabby, so he decided to blow her off and sneak out of the party with you? Where have you been all this time, huh? Did you go introduce him to some slut at the gazebo?"

Joey was too overcome with remorse and guilt to answer her this time. What could he say? "I had sex with your ex-boyfriend, and he liked it. I did too." He couldn't come up with any better lie.

Mary Angela took her brother's silence as confirmation of her suspicions. She spoke with bitterness and bravado, "Well, i don't care if he's met a girl already. I only dated him for a couple of days, and I'm way over him now. I'm gonna start dating again too!" She then stormed back into the house and slammed the door.

Joey was worried by her revengeful attitude, but he didn't try to follow her. He just went into the house and slunk up to his room. Then he locked the door and sat down on his bed, feeling horrible. How could he do this to his sister?

What a mess. Maybe he could call Vinnie and ask--

"Oh God, Vinnie!" Joey realized that he had completely forgotten his best friend too. What in the world could he tell Vinnie? Could he really manage to lie to his oldest friend? The one who knew him better than anyone?

Joey realized now that Vinnie had been right all along--about him, about Chandler. Joey moaned and sunk to his bed miserably.


	24. Second Thoughts

**Well, it's been a long time, so I better recap what happened so far. This story is set in October 1983, with the first chapter occurring on Monday the 17th. That was Chandler's first day of school in Queens, when he met Joey. Mary Angela met Chandler on Tuesday, fought with Joey, then hatched her secret dating plan. On Wednesday night, she got Chandler to tutor Joey, but on Thursday Chandler angrily dumped her, and she confessed the whole scheme to her mom. Meanwhile, Vinnie became jealous and kissed Joey. Chandler avoided Mary Angela, and Vinnie avoided Joey until they made up late on Friday night. Mary Angela tried to win Chandler back, but failed, and has been moping since.**

**For the first week or so, Joey sincerely felt that Chandler was not his friend; they had only just met, and he thought of Chandler mainly as the object of Mary Angela's crush. But as they got to know each other, Joey started to like him as more than a tutor. Then Nora got drunk and accused Chandler of being gay on Monday night (the 24th), and Joey hugged him comfortingly. Since then, Chandler became just as clingy with Joey as Vinnie, and he no longer enjoyed the company of his other friends like Jack. Joey on the other hand grew closer to Vinnie, often inappropriately snuggling with him in bed. On their trip to Manhattan, Vinnie saved Joey from Frankie the tailor. Meanwhile, Chandler fought with his mom from Monday through Wednesday, and he only made up with her because he wanted to go to the Halloween party with Joey. (The party occurred on Sunday the 30th.) Now Chandler has no lock on his bedroom door, but he and Joey managed to have sex anyway in his bathroom. Then Joey went home, only to be confronted by his sister.**

* * *

Eventually, Nora went to check on the boys again. As she said to Annie, "It's getting late. Joey should go home now, or at least call his mother." So she knocked on the door and tried to open it, but was blocked by the chair. "Hey! Chandler!"

"I'm coming!" Chandler got up and let her in, telling her that he'd blocked the door to keep Annie from walking in on him, when he got out of the shower.

"Oh, so we did hear you use the blow dryer earlier?"

"Yeah, I needed to get the gunk out of my hair."

"Good." Nora affectionately brushed her fingers through Chandler's hair, because she preferred his normal hairstyle.

"Mom!" Chandler sat on his bed and was glad that his hair had time to dry.

"All right." Nora withdrew her hand, and sat with him. "Hey, where's Joey? Still in your closet?"

"No, um, he went home already."

"When?"

"A couple of hours ago. He went out the fire escape."

"What? Why?"

"Just so Annie wouldn't give him a ride home. He, uh, he wanted to go back to the party."

"Well, that's just silly. We'd understand. And why didn't you tell me that he left? Have you been here moping all this time?"

Fortunately, Chandler had worked out an excuse for everything. "Yeah, 'cause I didn't want you to make me go to the party, Mom. I told you, I just want to be alone."

She sighed and put an arm around his shoulder. "Oh, honey, cheer up. You'll be all right soon, and I'll let you date when you're not grounded anymore. Besides, look on the bright side, kiddo. A month from now, people will have forgotten what happened at the party, no matter how embarrassing it was."

Chandler doubted that, but rather than argue the point, he took the opportunity to discuss his punishment. "Mom, can I have the lock back on my door?"

"What? No, then I couldn't check whether you've sneaked out or not."

"Please, Mom. I won't go anywhere. I just want some privacy, and haven't I been good lately?"

"Yes, but it's only been a couple of days, Chandler. Don't push your luck."

"No, please, Mom. I don't want Annie to walk in on me."

"What are you so worried about, Chandler? Annie always knocks first."

"Yeah, but tonight she almost came in when I was changing." Actually, making out with Joey on the bed.

"Because she heard Joey tripping, right?" Nora shrugged. "She was just worried, Chandler, and she didn't mean any harm. I mean, what's the big deal anyway? Annie knows about your nubbin."

"Mom, it's still embarrassing! And I-I can't take any more embarrassment right now."

Nora looked at him seriously and wondered again what in the world could have happened at the party. "And that's why you want your lock back?"

"Yeah." He looked at her with puppy eyes and did his best to guilt her into giving in.

Nora looked away and thought it over. Finally, she said quietly, "Well, maybe I can trust you again if you tell me something, Chandler."

"Okay. What?"

"Why did you lie to me about Mary Angela?"

Chandler blinked and frowned. "I-I didn't--"

She shook her head. "Yes, you did. You told me that she dumped you for a new boyfriend, but Annie told me that Mary Angela was too nice a girl to do that."

He pouted irritably. "Well, Annie didn't meet her for long! She doesn't know anything."

Nora sighed patiently. "Chandler, that's just when I started to get suspicious. Then Gloria told Annie how sad Mary Angela was, and that she wasn't seeing a new boyfriend at all. In fact, Gloria knew the whole story, about you pretending to be gay, and you dumping Mary Angela."

Chandler got upset. "Oh crap! Why did she have to say anything?"

"Because apparently she has no problem confiding in her mother," Nora said sadly. "I wish you had just told me the truth, honey. It would have helped me understand why you got so mad at me on Monday, when I thought you were gay. It was a bad reminder of Mary Angela, wasn't it?"

Feeling miserable and embarrassed, Chandler wouldn't meet his mother's eyes anymore. "Go away."

"Come on, Chandler."

"I don't wanna talk about it!" He started to get up from the bed and head to the bathroom, but she grabbed his arm.

"Chandler, please. We need to start communicating better. Look, I didn't bring up your lie before because we were already fighting too much lately, and even before then, you always avoided talking to me about your girlfriend. You always get so embarrassed and uncomfortable whenever I try to talk to you about sex--"

He squirmed. "I don't want to talk about sex, Mom!"

"Okay fine. But this wasn't sex really; it was just your breakup. Why would you lie about who dumped who? I mean, it's not like you wanted to keep me from blabbing it all to Joey, because I hadn't met him yet, and besides, he already knew the truth about you and his sister."

Chandler turned away and muttered lamely, "I-I didn't want you to tell Annie, and she'd, like, tell Joey's mom too. I didn't know that Mary Angela was going to tell her mom about it, after all her stupid secret plans." He pouted. "Joey should've told me."

Nora said, "Well I'm sorry you're embarrassed, kiddo. But Gloria's just a mom worried about her kids. Just like I'm worried about you, Chandler. If you're upset about something, why can't you just talk to me?"

Chandler scoffed, "Like we ever really talked before!"

She could see his point. "I know I haven't always been a good parent, but I'm trying now. And if you still can't feel comfortable talking to me yet, then try Annie or anybody else. I mean, that's why I let you keep seeing Joey, because you really seemed close to him and you said that you didn't believe that your other school friends really liked you. You've got to start trusting people, Chandler. It's not healthy to be so paranoid and closed up."

Chandler only shrugged and thought about Joey. He wished that they could be together right now to kiss and touch again. If only he had a lock on his door. "I-I trust Joey."

"That's good, honey. I'm happy for you, even if you can't talk to me." She sighed and tried to be understanding. "I guess you really need a guy to talk to, huh, and God knows that your dad couldn't have filled that role, even if he was here."

Chandler didn't really find that joke funny, and he wondered if having sex with Joey tonight really meant he was turning into his father.

Nora patted his arm and kissed him. "Goodnight."

"Wait, Mom. Can't I have my lock back?"

She looked surprised. "You're still worried? Honey, Annie is not going to come in without knocking."

"But--"

"I'm sorry, but I can't give you back your lock until I know for sure that you're not going to sneak out again. I mean, you already had Joey sneak out down the fire escape tonight. How do I know that you won't go with him next time?"

"I won't. I just--I just want to be alone with him, so we can, um, can talk in private about guy stuff."

"But how do I know you're not going to try to sneak out to see that girl from the party again? You know, try to get around the fact that I grounded you for a month."

"But I don't wanna see her!" Chandler insisted. "I-I told you, I don't wanna date again. I just wanna see Joey!"

Nora blinked and looked at him oddly.

Chandler realized that it sounded somewhat ambiguously like he wanted to "see" Joey in a romantic sense. He stammered nervously, "I-I mean--"

Nora then smiled and laughed it off. "No, no, I get it. It's just sometimes, when your voice gets like loud that, you start to sound just like your father. It's eerie." Then she patted his head and stood up. "But thankfully, you don't share all your genes with Charles, and you were just pretending for Mary Angela."

"Uh, right," he said with relief. But then he got worried too. "Wait, uh, what are you saying, Mom? If I was gay, then you'd freak out?"

She couldn't believe that Chandler was even discussing this hypothetical situation, since he'd just dumped his girlfriend for that reason, and also fought with his mom for two days over her accusation.

Why would Chandler bring it up unless--? Nora gasped and breathed out, "You're gay?" She suddenly sat down again and looked stunned. "Oh God! How the hell does this curse keep running in the family! Your therapist swore that you weren't gay!" She covered her face as if her worst fear was coming true.

Chandler was shocked and hurt by his mother's response. So after a moment, he collected himself and cleared his throat. "Mom! Mom! Can't you tell when I'm being sarcastic?"

She finally looked up at him. "Oh! Oh thank God." She sighed in relief, but then got angry again. "Chandler, don't scare me like that! That wasn't funny. Just--just for that, you're not getting your lock back yet. Goodnight!"

She practically ran out and shut the door. Chandler got up to turn out the light, and he peeked out to see his mother going to pour herself a drink.

Then he closed the door again, and returned to bed. Chandler sighed and pulled the covers over his head. Clearly, telling his mom the truth was not an option.

* * *

Joey remained awake for most of the night, shuddering at the thought that he had kissed the same mouth that had kissed his own sister, Mary Angela. He should never have let his little Joey do all the thinking tonight. He should have stopped the kissing and gone home much earlier.

Joey also felt awful about Vinnie. Vinnie was his best friend, and Joey had told him, "If I was gay, it'd be you, no contest." At the time, Joey had sincerely believed that that was the truth. But apparently it wasn't, and Joey had forgotten all about Vinnie while getting naked with Chandler. How could he do that?

Vinnie was right; Joey had never forgotten him before Chandler came along. The forgetting would hurt just as much as the sex, because that would be just one more promise broken. Joey really didn't want to hurt Vinnie by telling him.

Mary Angela had already drawn her own conclusions about what happened at the Halloween party, so could Joey use that same lie on Vinnie? But what if he couldn't be convincing? Vinnie had been completely right about Chandler, no matter how much Joey denied it these past couple of weeks. So even if he lied, Joey feared that Vinnie would somehow instantly see the truth in Joey's eyes anyway.

Would he be better off telling the truth? Would Vinnie appreciate the honesty? After all, if Joey told him the truth, he could tell Vinnie, from personal experience, that being gay was not a sin. But of course, Vinnie would be too heartbroken to look on the bright side.

Joey really didn't want to lose Vinnie for good; even if he wasn't in love with Vinnie, he did most definitely love and need him in his life.

* * *

The next morning, Joey was still half asleep when he came downstairs. He was stunned to see Mary Angela dressed in ripped clothes and wearing heavy makeup. "Whoa! Mom won't let you go out like that!"

She put her hands on her hips and answered with a scowl, "It's my costume, for Halloween."

"What? Oh--oh, right." Today was actually Halloween. Joey didn't even ask his sister who she was supposed to be. Some wild rock star, by the looks of her crazy hairdo.

Mary Angela usually didn't wear such a daring Halloween costume, but she was using the excuse to dress in sexy clothes, so that she could get herself a new boyfriend today. She would flaunt it in Chandler's face, and yell at Joey if he dared to interfere.

The Tribbianis all sat down to breakfast, and Joey Sr. also looked a bit nervous about Mary Angela's appearance. "What ever happened to dressing like a ballerina, or a princess?"

Gloria told her husband, "Oh, it's harmless, Joe. Just let her have fun today. She's been so sad lately."

Joey meanwhile remembered Chandler calling him "Joe" during sex last night. He felt too guilty to eat much, and it made his mother concerned.

"Are you all right?"

Joey hesitated and considered pretending to be sick so that he could stay home from school. But, no, he had promised to see Chandler today, and he couldn't chicken out of seeing Vinnie. "Uh, I'm fine, Ma. I'm just... leaving some room for candy."

"Oh no, you're not eating all the candy, Joey! That's for the trick-or-treaters! If you want sweets, you can have a jar of jam, but that's it."

"Okay."

After breakfast, Joey got his backpack and reluctantly headed out the door.

Joey decided to get things over with, so he hung out on the De Luca's porch until Vinnie came downstairs.

Vinnie smiled. "Hey, Joey."

"Uh, hey." They hugged, and Joey savored it, fearing that it might be the last one they shared before Vinnie would hate him forever.

Vinnie tried not to read too much into the lingering hug, because he was trying to stop listening to the part of him that ached for Joey to return his love. So after they broke apart, Vinnie looked away quickly and tried to keep his voice normal and casual. "H-how was that party last night?"

"Okay," Joey answered, as they started walking to school. "How was work?"

"The usual. Some people tried to buy Halloween stuff at the last minute, and you know, they always want the stuff that's run out. I'm just glad I don't have to work late tonight, when jerks will try pulling pranks at the store."

"Yeah." Then Joey added, "Listen, I-I was thinking I could come over tonight and see you. Is that okay?"

Vinnie was surprised and pleased. "Yeah? You're not going to see Chandler?"

Joey chose his words carefully. "Well, just--just a little while. Not long, and then I wanna—I wanna spend Halloween with you." He would need a long time to explain everything and plead for Vinnie's forgiveness.

"Oh, 'cause your mom doesn't want you to eat all the candy, right?"

"Yeah," he said, trying to be light and jokey. "And your mom won't want me to eat your candy either, so we'll probably just stay up in your room, you know?"

"I guess so." Vinnie did his best to not veer off into a fantasy about the two of them alone in his bedroom again. It was never going to come true.

"It'll be fun," Joey said, even though he knew it wouldn't be. It was going to be heartbreaking and miserable.

After a moment, Vinnie changed the subject, "So, uh... you fixed Chandler up with that Gabby girl?"

"I--I tried to. But he spilled some punch on his shirt, then freaked out, and went home early."

"Wow. Well at least he wasn't hanging all over you at the party. You could get your own girl, and have a good time, huh?"

Joey just shrugged, and looked off into the distance. He said sadly, "I-I wish you would have come to the party." Hopefully he could have controlled himself with Chandler if Vinnie had been around.

Vinnie was touched. "Me too." He wondered why Joey didn't say anything about which girl he scored at the party, but then he remembered that Joey wasn't discussing his sex life with him anymore. At least they could be together tonight, even if it was just another night of trying to do their homework and not get distracted by Joey's nearness.

As they arrived at school, Joey said, "I'll see you later."

"Okay."

Joey left for his first class, feeling only a little bit relieved. At least Vinnie didn't suspect anything yet, but Joey would still have to tell him tonight. Joey also feared that Vinnie might hear some gossip about the party from Mary Angela or Jeanie DiFranco, which might raise Vinnie's suspicions. In that case, Joey hoped that he could deflect Vinnie's questions for now, if he could just promise to tell him the whole story that night, in private.

* * *

Meanwhile, Chandler was having a hard day too. He felt uncomfortable around his friends Jack, Matt, and Brian. They asked him how the party went, and Brian felt jealous that Chandler had been invited to a cool party with popular kids.

Chandler told them only about the spilled punch and confessed that he didn't even remember the name of the girl he'd been fixed up with.

The guys laughed, and Jack said sympathetically that he too probably have been nervous and disastrous at the party, if he'd gone.

"If you'd been invited, loser!" Matt joked.

Then they all teased each other about their lack of coolness, and Chandler half-heartedly joined in.

Chandler felt like he was biting his tongue, though. He had lost his virginity last night, yet he couldn't tell any of his friends about the momentous event. His mom had also freaked out at the thought of him being gay, and he couldn't tell them about that, either. The only person he could talk to about such things would be Joey, but Chandler felt weird about that now. Having sex with Joey in the heat of the moment was one thing, but in the light of day, he was afraid of becoming just like his father.

At lunchtime, Joey caught Chandler's eye and motioned for him to come outside so they could talk again. So they left the cafeteria together and sat on the steps.

"Uh, hi," Joey said awkwardly, not sure of "morning after" etiquette with someone who was a guy and his friend.

"Hi." Chandler blushed and felt self-conscious that they weren't really alone, since they were in front of the cafeteria windows. "Uh, like, would you rather we walk over there?" He gestured around the corner to where they had once collided with each other.

Joey said, "I-I don't know. Do you wanna--?"

Chandler just shrugged and started nervously reaching for a cigarette without realizing it. "Oh right, I quit." He didn't even have a carton or lighter on him anymore, thanks to his mom cutting off his supply.

Joey asked, "Are you as freaked out as I am?"

"Yeah!" He grabbed some fries off his lunch tray, just to have something to do with his hands.

Joey got to the point. "I, uh, I think I should come over tonight. Uh, you can tell your mom you're tutoring me, but--but I really need to just talk..."

"About last night, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Remember to bring some books with you. We can talk in my room, but I don't have the lock on my door yet."

"Okay. See you."

"Yeah."

They quickly parted and went inside again.

* * *

When Joey returned to their cafeteria table, Vinnie wondered why he looked so pale. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Joey mumbled. He sat down and tried to eat his food, but he could only pick at it.

Vinnie stared at him and knew that something must be wrong if Joey wasn't hungry, especially if he weren't loading up on food so that he wouldn't crave candy later tonight. Becoming anxious, Vinnie said quietly, "I-I heard some people talking about Jeanie's party last night."

Joey knew where this was going. The gossip got out, and his own behavior was adding to Vinnie's suspicions.

Vinnie said with a frown, "They said that you and Chandler both left the party early, and Jeanie tried calling your house, but you weren't there either."

Joey swallowed and nodded. "Yeah. So where was I?"

"Yeah." Vinnie didn't say it accusingly. He was just staring at Joey with dread, because he didn't want to know. In fact he said, "You--you hooked up some other girl, like Mary Angela said, right?"

Joey was glad that Vinnie was giving him an out. "We can't talk about sex anymore," Joey reminded him, to keep him from asking for details.

"Yeah," Vinnie said. But still he worried, because why would Joey lose his appetite over a one-night stand? Was Chandler there too? Had he watched Joey have sex again? Even though Joey had promised not to let it happen?

Joey covered up as well as he could. "Mary Angela was really upset when I got home that night. She tried to act like she was just angry, but I could see she was really hurt too. She didn't want to think that Chandler had moved on to another girl already. And to know that I fixed him up, when I promised not to interfere..."

"Yeah, I-I see," Vinnie said, and touched Joey's arm. He did his best to believe that Joey wasn't holding anything else back. It was natural for him to feel guilty about betraying his sister.

Vinnie told him comfortingly, "Well, Jeanie shouldn't have told her about the fix up. She said to her friends today that she got confused and thought she was talking to Mary Therese on the phone."

"Oh," Joey said.

"Did your mom yell at you?"

"No. I-I don't know if Mary Angela told her."

"I guess she was too busy working on her costume." Vinnie gestured to Mary Angela, who was flirting with a cute boy on the other side of the cafeteria.

The guy looked intrigued by her semi-slutty clothes, but also a bit nervous since she was Joey's off-limits sister.

Mary Angela told him, "Joey won't do anything to you. I do what I want now." She gave a scathingly defiant look at her brother for good measure.

Joey looked concerned, but he remembered that he shouldn't interfere. If getting a hot boyfriend for revenge was what it took for her to get over Chandler, then so be it. He just hoped that Mary Angela would have enough sense to stick with her earlier statement that she'd take it slow, or at least use protection so she wouldn't get pregnant.

So the boy asked her out to a party that night, and soon Mary Angela would have her first rebound date.


	25. Upside Down

**Yay, an update! Maybe not the update you all were hoping for, but at least I'm finally making progress again. See the author's note on Chapter 24 for a recent recap of the plot. It's now Halloween afternoon and night.**

* * *

After school on Monday, Joey felt anxious and troubled on his way home. He hoped that his distress didn't show, because he didn't want his family to become suspicious or for Mary Angela to pick a fight with him, when he already had to meet with both Chandler and Vinnie later on.

However, the rest of the Tribbianis were preoccupied with the news that Mary Angela had a date to a different Halloween party, one for younger teens than those at Jeanie DiFranco's house last night.

Joey Sr. was shocked, and even Gloria felt a little flustered by this last minute notice. "You're not going to stay home and help me pass out the Halloween candy?"

"No, I'm sorry, Ma. But Tina and Dina can help you, right? Please can I go?" She assured them that there would indeed be parents there to supervise, and that she would come home in time to do her homework.

"Yes, you should be home early," Gloria said. "It's a school night."

But Joey Sr. still didn't feel ready for Mary Angela to date yet. "You're too young. And you can't go out wearing that Halloween costume!"

Gloria agreed on the second part. "Yes, maybe you should change your clothes, honey. This is going to be a chilly night. You shouldn't wear something with so many holes in it."

Mary Angela could see they didn't understand the fashion of ripped clothes, but she was willing to compromise on this issue. "All right, I'll change. So I can go to the party?"

Gloria started to nod, hoping that her daughter's excitement meant that she was over her breakup with Chandler.

"Wait," Joey Sr. asked, "who's this boy that asked you out? I want to meet him." He was still upset about his daughter having dated Chandler in secret.

Mary Angela told them that the boy's name was Chris, and said she would ask him to come in and meet them before leaving for the party. But she pleaded, "Dad, you won't try to scare him off will you? Ma, make him promise he won't!"

Gloria said, "Don't worry, Mary Angie. We just want to know a little about him, that's all."

"But no threats! Promise!"

"I won't promise until I see what you're going to wear."

So when Joey came home in the middle of this conversation, nobody really noticed him. The other sisters were ostensibly putting up Halloween decorations nearby, but Tina and Dina were avidly eavesdropping.

Still, like all mothers, Gloria had eyes in the back of her head, and when Joey went to grab an apple from the kitchen, she reminded him not to eat all the candy for the trick-or-treaters. "Just jam, remember!"

"I know, Ma," Joey answered. "Actually I'm going over to Chandler's for tutoring, and then I'm gonna go over to Vinnie's tonight."

"Oh good." Gloria was happy that Joey would be staying out of her hair tonight. "Have fun, sweetie."

"Okay." But Joey knew that he wasn't going to have fun at all. "Bye, Ma." He grabbed his books and left for Chandler's apartment.

* * *

When Joey arrived, he felt awkward and unable to meet Annie's eyes or Nora's eyes as they greeted him.

"I can't believe you sneaked out by the fire escape," Nora said.

"I'm-I'm sorry," Joey said, still looking at his feet.

She sighed. "Well what's done is done. Just don't do it again, no matter what Chandler says."

"Yes, ma'am."

Chandler took Joey's arm and said, "Well, we gotta go work." He led Joey back to his bedroom and shut the door.

Joey remained nervous because Chandler had told him that he still didn't have a lock. He put down his backpack and whispered, "Are you sure this is okay?"

Chandler nodded. "I told my mom that I wanted to, like, talk to you in private. I convinced her that I really need somebody to talk about girls with. She thinks I'm, like, obsessed and paranoid about privacy lately, so she and Annie promised to leave us alone. But just in case," He moved a chair in front of the door and loaded Joey's bag onto it.

They moved away from the door, and Joey asked, "They really don't know? Even with me going out the fire escape?"

"No, they're not onto us... yet." Chandler shrugged and warned, "But, uh, if we stay here too long... they might start to suspect something." He frowned, remembering how his mother had panicked over him being hypothetically gay.

"So we don't have much time."

"Nope." Chandler met Joey's eyes, then joked nervously, "I-I don't think we're gonna do any tutoring, huh?"

Joey shook his head. "No. We gotta-we gotta talk."

"Yeah." Chandler looked down to his feet.

Joey was glad that Chandler seemed freaked out, rather than horny, this time. It would make things easier. So he sat down on the bed and cleared his throat, trying to decide where to begin. "Uh, listen. Mary Angela knows that we left the party, 'cause Jeanie called my house looking for us."

"She did?" Chandler sat next to him.

Joey backed up, realizing that he needed to put some distance between him and Chandler. If only Chandler hadn't used the chair to block the door.

Chandler asked worriedly, "So she knows about us?"

"No, no-Mary Angela thinks that I took you to meet some other girl because you didn't like Gabby."

"Oh, good." Chandler relaxed.

"No, not good."

"Why?" Chandler looked at him with surprise and confusion.

Joey found himself staring at the way Chandler's eyebrows arched, and how his eyelashes moved when he blinked. At his soft lips and green eyes. But Joey valiantly tried to continue, "She got mad at me... and she... she..." He was losing track of his thoughts, and so was Chandler, staring at him in return.

Soon Chandler leaned in and they started kissing all over again. Joey grabbed him by the face and pulled him close while Chandler sighed, "Joe."

"Chandler." They kept making out before Joey remembered that Chandler was his sister's ex-boyfriend. Then he pulled back. "Wait. No, no. I can't." He disentangled himself and stood up. "Chandler, no! I can't do this! I can't do it to my sister. She was so upset and hurt last night, 'cause I betrayed her. And she doesn't even know how I _really_ betrayed her."

Chandler absorbed Joey's words and finally understood how truly messy their situation was. He hadn't seen it from Joey's perspective before. "Oh you mean, 'cause I dated her and-Whoa."

"Yeah." He began to pace the room. "It's like I'm lying to her, Chandler, and stabbing her in the back. I'm-I'm sorry, but we can't do this anymore. I can't take the guilt. Do you understand?"

Chandler nodded and swallowed. "Yeah I get it. Look, I'm sorry, Joe. I just got carried away. We should-we should just be friends."

Joey was surprised at how well he was taking this. "Really? You're not mad?"

"No. Um, actually, I was going to tell you that-that last night was a mistake. I can't handle this either, and my mom-" He looked away uncomfortably. "Well everything, everything just feels weird now, and I-I don't want to be like my father."

"What, gay?"

"Yeah. I mean, if I were really gay, you know, then I would have done something at that all-boys prep school. Right?"

"I don't know." Joey shrugged, not really sure what to say. If he weren't gay, then why would he have sex with Joey last night?

"No, I should have," Chandler rationalized. "There were hot guys there too." Chandler winced for a second, realizing how gay that made him sound, but he went on anyway. "So you and me, Joe, maybe it doesn't really mean anything. Maybe it's, like, I'm just-just copying the dysfunctional behavior of my parents. Yeah, that's it. My therapist always said I was doing that."

Joey looked shocked. "You have a therapist?"

"I had one," he explained, "back when my parents were getting divorced. They thought it would help me get through it."

"Oh." But Joey still blinked with wonder at the idea of a kid in therapy. He tried to shrug it off. Maybe it was just how rich people dealt with problems. It was another sign of how they came from different worlds, and how little he knew about Chandler yet. After all, they'd only met a couple of weeks ago.

Chandler broke the tension with sarcasm, "Yeah, they're the alcoholics running around with boytoys and playing twisted mindgames with the help, but I'm the one who needs to see a shrink."

Joey didn't know what to say, and he wondered whether he should risk hugging Chandler right now. What a disturbing childhood he must have had.

Chandler changed the subject and spoke more confidently, "Besides, we couldn't, like, keep running around together, Joe, and keep this a secret from our families. My mom won't give me my lock back, and even if we went to your house and locked the door, then Mary Angela would be around."

"And Tina and Dina might be eavesdropping too." Joey nodded. "It's too complicated, Chandler. We can't do this."

"Right. We can't." When looked at rationally, the whole situation was absurd. Chandler smiled in relief. "So just friends, right?"

"Yeah, friends." Joey found this amicable breakup very refreshing. When he usually dumped girls, he was confronted with tears or anger or both. He was so relieved with how things had turned out today that he decided to go ahead and hug Chandler.

Chandler was surprised, but he hugged Joey back. "And I can still tutor you, right?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Good." But they smiled at each other and their eyes met again, suddenly making them aware of how close they stood, to each other and the bed.

Clearing his throat, Joey let go and stepped back again. "Uh, but not tonight." He went and picked up his backpack from the chair. "I-I gotta go."

"Yeah, okay," Chandler nodded and returned the chair to his desk. He felt confused by the moment of temptation, but he decided that, even if the feelings were temporary and false, he still needed some time to get over his attraction to Joey.

As Joey put on his backpack, Chandler asked, "You sure you can do your homework?"

"Yeah, uh, I'm going to Vinnie's house," Joey said, not wanting to reveal more than that. He started to frown and feel anxious again.

"Oh. Well, goodnight. I'll-I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye." Joey hurried out of the room, and he explained to Nora and Annie that he forgot that he had to meet his friend Vinnie today. "Sorry."

Puzzled, Nora went to Chandler's room and knocked, then she opened the door. "Is everything all right, kiddo?"

Chandler said, "Yeah, mom. We just-just talked about girls for a bit, and then he had to go. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"It's private," Chandler said, to discourage further questions from his mom. "You promised not to be nosy."

Nora remained confused, but since Chandler invoked her promise, she let it go. "Okay." She left and gave a shrug when Annie asked how he was. "I don't know. Sometimes I think I'll never understand him."

* * *

Vinnie was still at work when Joey arrived at his house, so he asked to wait in Vinnie's room. Mrs. De Luca agreed, since it was safer than letting Joey stay downstairs with all the Halloween candy.

Joey went upstairs and put his backpack down. He slumped on the bed and dreaded his impending confession. He almost wanted to run away. Unlike with Chandler, there was no way that he could avoid hurting Vinnie. It would take a miracle for Vinnie to understand, or forgive him.

At the same time, Joey was coming to a realization about his sexuality. During the walk from Chandler's, Joey had had time to reflect. Chandler had let himself off the hook, saying that he wasn't gay after all, but that didn't help Joey any. He wanted Chandler so much that he lost control and kissed him again, despite his guilt about Mary Angela and Vinnie. The feelings were too strong to dismiss, and he didn't even have a strange childhood to blame it on. Joey felt scared and unsure of whether he was straight anymore. It kind of hurt too, that Chandler had said that their night together didn't mean anything. Normally, Vinnie would be the person that Joey would turn to if he was upset and confused, but he couldn't now. If Vinnie was too heartbroken and angry with him to stay friends, then Joey would have no one to help him through this.

After what seemed like forever, Vinnie came home and greeted Joey with a smile, glad that Joey had not stood him up for Chandler again.

"Hey," Joey said weakly, before asking Vinnie to lock the door.

Vinnie did so, but he noticed Joey's strange tone of voice, and his pale face. "What's wrong?"

Joey couldn't quite face him, and he patted the bed beside him. "Uh, I gotta tell you something," he whispered.

Getting nervous, Vinnie approached slowly and dropped his own backpack before sitting down on the bed.

Joey stared at his hands and cleared his throat several times. "Vinnie," he tried to start, but how could he explain it? Say that Chandler took off his stained shirt and then one thing led to another? But no, there was the break where they left the party and tried to pretend that nothing happened. And there were the interruptions by Annie and Chandler's mother, not to mention the door that didn't lock. They could have stopped, and they didn't. He had no excuses.

Vinnie couldn't take the silent tension, and he started to stand up.

Joey stopped him and pulled Vinnie into a tight embrace.

Vinnie was afraid to fully return the hug, and he recalled his anxiety at lunch after he'd heard rumors about Jeanie's party. Joey would neither confirm or deny having sex with some girl after he and Chandler disappeared from the party.

Joey clung to him desperately, and even kissed his cheek emotionally. "I-I couldn't tell you before... at school. We weren't alone, and I-I didn't want to hurt you."

"What happened?" Vinnie whispered.

Joey was still babbling, "I don't want to lose you, Vinnie. I can't. I love you." He kept kissing his face and stroking his back.

Though he knew he shouldn't, Vinnie could not help getting lost in Joey's touch. This was why he'd thought for years that they were in love together, because Joey was constantly pushing the boundary between friendship and love with him.

"You're my best friend. I need you." Joey was on the verge of tears.

Vinnie became more sure than ever of what Joey had done, and he shook his head. "Don't." He didn't want to know. He didn't want to hear his suspicions confirmed.

Joey said, "No, I do need you. I mean it."

Vinnie accused, "You were with him, weren't you? After the party. You had sex, and that new kid-!" He was too upset and disappointed to say that Chandler must have been there, watching Joey and his girl again. "How could you?"

Joey misheard his "and" for a "with", and thought Vinnie must have guessed the truth. "I'm sorry, Vinnie. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry!" It was a struggle to keep from raising his voice, and he felt more heartbroken than angry now. "You promised me-"

"I know, I know. It was wrong, and I hate myself, Vinnie. But it won't happen again, I swear. It's over."

Vinnie didn't believe him, naturally, and even if he did, that didn't erase Joey's broken promise. How could he trust Joey now? He kept denying that he felt anything for Chandler, and yet he couldn't keep from going too far with him. Vinnie started to cry. He wished he'd confessed in church and gone away to get cured, like he'd decided yesterday. Then at least he wouldn't have to see this happen, or he could learn how to let go of Joey.

"I'm sorry." Joey kissed the tears from Vinnie's face, and he whispered again, "I love you, Vinnie. I do." Then without warning, Joey kissed his lips instead.

Vinnie didn't quite believe it, and he looked up, blinking through his tears. "Joey?"

Joey was somewhat startled himself, but he met Vinnie's eyes and saw his best friend in a different light. He became aware of how close they were on the bed, and how warm Vinnie felt in his arms. He wondered if this was how Vinnie had felt about him, and maybe he liked it after all. Joey kissed him again, and noticed his soft lips. Something had changed since Vinnie first kissed him, and it seemed like his eyes were open now.

Vinnie didn't know what to do. Was Joey just patronizing him? Trying in a misguided way to comfort him and apologize? "You mean-?"

Joey caressed his cheek and murmured, "I-I couldn't stop thinking about you last night." Which was somewhat true. He'd been wretched with guilt, for both Mary Angela and Vinnie. "I felt so awful, and I wished I'd never gone there. Please believe me. I-I can't lose you." He kissed him. "I love you." It felt right to say it. It felt like he meant it in every sense now.

"Joey." Vinnie was touched, but still worried. He tentatively kissed Joey back, and Joey slid his fingers through Vinnie's hair. They closed their eyes and sank deeper.

Joey felt a giddy relief, and the earlier fear and self-doubts started to melt away with how easy this was. Joey recalled that he'd started to panic and regret sleeping with Chandler as soon as he left the apartment last night. And today Chandler said he wasn't gay, so clearly the whole thing was a mistake. But Joey realized now that he was probably gay, and obviously it was Vinnie that made him feel comfortable with accepting it. How could he be afraid of loving someone he knew so well, and who loved him too? Vinnie had been right all along, even when Joey had been blind and in denial. So _of course_ Vinnie had been right about Joey loving him too. The wonder of it all made Joey feel deeply happy. And that surely meant love.

As they made out, Joey started to caress Vinnie's arms and back, exploring his new awareness of his body. Vinnie responded eagerly and then pressed Joey flat on the bed. Joey smiled with surprise and found himself rather turned on by Vinnie laughing a little, making the moment feel like one of their naughty secrets that they used to share when they were younger.

Joey still felt a little guilty, though, about hurting Vinnie, so he wanted to make sure that Vinnie forgave him. He asked, "You're not mad about Chandler anymore?"

Vinnie chuckled. "Well, he's not watching us now-or ever," he emphasized. He snuggled closer and added, "I'm not jealous of those girls you've been with either, 'cause you didn't love them." Joey had always told him so. "Besides, we could still be each other's first, you know, when it comes to gay stuff."

Joey blinked as the words sank in. He realized that Vinnie had misunderstood him, or rather, he'd misunderstood Vinnie's accusation. They'd misunderstood each other, and Vinnie did not in fact know that he had sex with Chandler.

Vinnie didn't notice Joey's reaction because right then he was reaching under Joey's shirt to tease one of his nipples. Joey had told him, during one of the many times he'd vividly described the details of his sex life, that this move always turned him on.

Joey moaned softly and cooperated as Vinnie started to take his shirt off. Joey's conscience told him that they should stop, and he should confess everything. But he didn't _want_ to stop. He told himself that it was too late to tell the truth. It would only hurt Vinnie deeply, and maybe Vinnie wouldn't even forgive him. Then they'd both be miserable and alone, more so because they'd just gotten closer. They'd break up before they even really started. No, Joey decided that it was best to keep quiet. He had discovered genuine feelings for Vinnie tonight, and surely that outweighed any misunderstanding.

Joey just kissed Vinnie and resolved to make amends for the deception by just doing everything he could to make Vinnie happy. So they continued undressing and exploring, getting more breathless and intimate.

Vinnie continued to be bold, making clear that he didn't want to just fool around, but have sex as well. Joey was more hesitant, not wanting to rush things, and he was concerned that they might be heard. Vinnie told him that his brothers were out at a haunted house, and that his parents would stay downstairs waiting for trick-or-treaters. Besides, Vinnie had locked the door, and they could turn the radio on so no one would hear them.

Joey frowned, reminded of Chandler suggesting that he get his lock back and they turn up the radio so they could have sex in his bed.

Vinnie was eager to live out the fantasies he'd had for so long about "Joey love," and he was able to persuade Joey to give in due to his extensive knowledge of all the moves that Joey liked. So even though Joey kept being reminded sometimes of what he'd done with Chandler last night, he dismissed it as just a symptom of his guilt about lying to Vinnie. He told himself that the memories would go away with time and that it didn't mean anything.

Also, Joey was soon able to lose himself in the pleasure as well as the naughtiness of making love while Vinnie's parents were downstairs. He discovered that sex really was better when it was with someone you loved, and he did very much love Vinnie, his best friend.

Joey was tired afterward, but he stayed awake, listening to make sure that Vinnie's parents weren't on their way up. So far so good.

Vinnie sighed and observed, "We're really going to hell now."

Joey caressed him and said, "It's not a sin."

Vinnie smiled and nodded, finally believing him. Joey snuggled close again and kissed him. He pulled the blankets over them so they wouldn't get cold.

Now Joey didn't feel guilty at all. If he could help Vinnie get over his anxieties about being gay, then what did some haphazard encounter with Chandler matter? That was all over with now, and it wasn't as if it meant anything to Chandler. Joey loved Vinnie so much that he'd do anything for him. Even not see girls, or- "Vinnie, you think I should stop seeing Chandler for tutoring?" He'd promised to still be friends, but now circumstances had changed considerably.

Vinnie looked surprised by the question. "I thought you said it was over?"

Joey said, "I meant... I meant, my mom would still want me to go, to keep my grades up."

Vinnie bit his lip and realized that was true. "If you have to..." he conceded unhappily, "but, um, no more going to parties with him, and..." He left it unsaid. "And-and you tell him that you're with me now."

Joey nodded and kissed him reassuringly. "But I'll have to make sure he doesn't blab it to Annie, 'cause she'll just spread it to my mom. I don't know how she'd take it, or my dad either."

Vinnie nodded sympathetically.

"On the other hand," Joey joked, "maybe I could tell him I wanna be an actor then." He hadn't told his dad yet that he didn't want to go into the pipefitting business.

Vinnie mildly smiled, but got pensive and serious. After a moment, he said, "My dad-my dad would probably be furious. Maybe he'd send me away to get cured."

"What? No way."

Vinnie told Joey how his father had ranted about Frankie the tailor on Saturday, and cussed about "perverts and homos."

"Whoa!" Joey hugged him and realized, "That's why you were crying yesterday?"

He nodded.

Joey told him, "Your dad's wrong. But I don't think he really would send you away, Vinnie, even if he was mad. He loves you. I mean he and your mom were worried about us going to Manhattan. Way more than my parents."

"I guess so. I-I'm just afraid 'cause I don't know what they'll say."

"I know. But listen, no matter how much anybody freaks out, we'll deal with it. We'll figure out what to do, okay?"

"Okay." Vinnie sighed and tried not to worry about it. Even knowing that he was gay for years, Vinnie had never seriously contemplated having to come out, since he'd assumed that he and Joey would not actually become a couple. Their love would be something unspoken and hidden, a mutual secret in their hearts that they hoped God would forgive them for in heaven.

Everything had changed, though, and Vinnie's wildest, most private fantasy had come true somehow. It was as if the world had turned upside down, and he didn't want it to ever go right-side up again.

Joey caressed him and added sadly, "But yeah, we shouldn't tell anybody about us for a while. Except for-but you don't have to worry about Chandler anyway."

"Really?" Vinnie knew that, despite his denials, Joey had indeed been infatuated with Chandler for a while, and he had some kind of weakness where he kept letting Chandler get away with things.

"Vinnie!" Joey met his eyes and said, "I love you. Just you." He kissed Vinnie deeply again.

Vinnie relaxed, and for a while they just lay curled under the covers, discussing whether Joey could risk staying the night without their families getting suspicious.

* * *

**I'm aware that many readers still hate Vinnie, and will not like how this chapter ends. You don't have to like Vinnie, though, and besides, Joey's the dishonest slut here. In the future, I will spare you from drawn-out, schmoopy details about Joey and Vinnie. (Though there is a more detailed version of Joey and Vinnie's night at Forever Fandom.) But I hope that even you Vinnie-haters can see that his current happiness with Joey is tainted with unresolved feelings about Chandler. This will lead to a rude awakening when the relationship ends.**

**For now, let Vinnie enjoy his blissful ignorance and let Joey be in love without stabbing his sister in the back. I have tried in many past chapters to foreshadow Joey and Vinnie coming together, and to hint that their feelings are mutual (although Joey sincerely falls for Chandler too). Joey just mistakes his bond with Vinnie for brotherly love, just as he mistook his growing attraction to Chandler as friendship. Joey's never had a brother, and he doesn't realize that he's being too touchy-feely with Vinnie to be platonic. He also protested too much with his "if I was gay, it'd be you" and "I wish I was gay, then I could show you it's not a sin" type of comments. Vinnie on the other hand has a couple of older brothers, and has always been aware of when Joey's behavior is inappropriate rather than brotherly.**

**Anyway, that's the way things are now. You'll see how Chandler reacts to this development in the next chapter.**


	26. Taking it Hard

**Sorry it's been so long. Work and real life get in the way. To refresh your memory of this story, check the plot recap in chapter 24. Since then, Chandler's mom freaked out about him being hypothetically gay, and Mary Angela got a date with a boy from school. Joey and Chandler agreed to be platonic friends, then out of guilt, Joey tried to confess the sex to Vinnie. However, due to a misunderstanding, Joey and Vinnie ended up having sex, and Joey has decided to keep up the lie.**

**I also noticed an earlier error. In chapter 25, Vinnie's at work when Joey arrives, but in chapter 24, Vinnie had said that the didn't have to work that night. So I'm just gonna go back and change Chapter 24 to have Vinnie say "work late" instead.**

* * *

Though Joey wanted to stay the whole night with Vinnie, they could not hide out in Vinnie's bedroom forever.

After all the trick-or-treaters had gone, Vinnie's mom came upstairs and knocked, calling them for dinner. They were eating later than usual, because of Halloween.

The boys sat up in bed, and Vinnie answered nervously, "Uh, no thanks, Ma. We--we haven't finished our homework yet."

"What? Then shouldn't you turn off that radio, and get to work?" Those boys could really goof off together. "And it's too loud too. What are you, trying to make yourselves deaf?"

Joey blushed. They had turned up the radio to cover the sounds of their lovemaking.

"Sorry." Vinnie switched it off and made an excuse. "I-I was trying to help Joey not hear the trick-or-treaters downstairs, so he wouldn't go after the candy."

"Oh, I see." She knew that Joey had a huge appetite. "Well, they're all gone now and we got dinner ready. Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"Not yet," Joey lied. "We'll try to catch up on our homework right now."

"All right, boys. But you'll only get cold leftovers later. Same as your brothers." Vinnie's brothers were still out at the haunted house.

"I know. Thanks, Ma." When they heard Mrs. De Luca return downstairs, the boys breathed a sigh of relief.

"Man, that was close."

"Yeah."

Then they cleaned up the bed and dressed. Vinnie knew that Joey was really hungry, so they ate a stash of junk food that he kept in his room, then tried to do their homework.

However, Vinnie was easily distracted by Joey sitting with him, and Joey could not concentrate much either. He was always tempted to put his arm around Vinnie and enjoy their new closeness. In any case, they weren't getting much school work done, so they finally gave up. Joey packed up his books and said he would go home now.

"Okay. You can probably eat your mom's leftovers too," Vinnie said.

"Yeah." He laughed, then softly kissed Vinnie goodnight.

Vinnie smiled and said, "Goodnight, Joey."

So Joey grabbed his backpack and headed downstairs. He said goodbye to the De Lucas, then headed home cheerfully. Overall, it had been a surprisingly good night. He had expected an awful night of tears and anger, but now everything was mended between him and Vinnie. And best of all, he was no longer stabbing his sister in the back by seducing her ex-boyfriend Chandler.

* * *

When Joey got home, the Tribbianis were all discussing Mary Angela's date. The Halloween party had gone well, but Joey found he could not listen without thinking back to the party he had gone to with Chandler on Sunday, and how they'd had sex that night.

Joey quickly ate his late dinner before hurrying to his room. He did his best to finish his homework again, and to stop thinking of Chandler. "I don't love him. I love Vinnie," he told himself. "I was just--it was a crush or something. I only met him a couple of weeks ago. I don't mean anything to Chandler anyway. He said he's not gay--just messed up by his parents."

The more that he thought of Chandler, though, the more Joey became resolved that he couldn't keep seeing Chandler for tutoring. He would be too distracted with memories, and besides, Vinnie would be jealous. Mary Angela might still be mad at Joey too. So, logically, it would be easier to just end his friendship with Chandler.

He hoped that Chandler would be as understanding as he was when Joey said they couldn't have sex anymore.

The next day at school, Joey pulled Chandler aside at lunch, but found himself very tempted to kiss him again. It shocked and unnerved him enough that he had to look away, searching the cafeteria crowd for Vinnie.

Chandler assumed that Joey was simply fearful of Vinnie's jealousy again. "Do you want to meet for tutoring tonight, Joe? You know, real tutoring, since we only talked yesterday?"

"What? Oh, yeah," Joey said. "Yeah, can I see you tonight?"

"Yeah, okay. Around 5 at my place?"

"Yeah."

"Sure, I'll let my mom know."

"Good." Joey quickly returned to his table with Vinnie, relieved to get away from Chandler for the time being. In fact, he put his arm around Vinnie and sat closer to him, not even caring if that gesture would make anybody suspicious about them.

Vinnie smiled and met Joey's eyes happily before looking away and clearing his throat. Not that he was embarrassed about Joey touching him in public. It was just that Vinnie's brothers might see them, and Vinnie was not prepared to be out to his family yet. "My brothers could see," he warned. "Maybe your sisters too. Don't want to start a rumor."

"Oh, right." Joey reluctantly let go and went back to eating his lunch.

Vinnie asked quietly, "Did you tell Chandler about us?"

Joey shook his head. "I'll tell him tonight."

"Okay." Vinnie was glad that Joey would tell Chandler that they were together now. It was a way, he hoped, of warning Chandler off, because Vinnie was still convinced that Chandler was after Joey.

Joey just ate his food and tried to dismiss his persistent desire for Chandler. Surely his crush on Chandler was only being amplified by his guilt in deceiving Vinnie about what happened Sunday night. He would get over Chandler soon, once he stopped seeing him.

* * *

That afternoon, Joey nervously arrived at the Bings' apartment. Chandler greeted him with a warm, "Hey Joe!" and started to lead Joey to the den, for tutoring.

Joey interrupted him and said, "Uh, I-I need to talk to you, in your room."

"Huh? Well, okay." Chandler reluctantly led the way because he didn't want to be alone in his bedroom with Joey anymore. If they were alone again, then he would be tempted to kiss Joey once more.

As Chandler closed the door behind them, Joey asked him, "Do you have your lock back?"

"N-no," Chandler said awkwardly. He sat down and hoped that Joey wasn't coming onto him again. They had agreed to be just friends now, and besides, Chandler wanted very much not to be gay after all.

Joey sat down nervously too, and stared at his feet while he stammered. For some reason he couldn't just say that he didn't want to see Chandler anymore, so he started with his other confession. "Me and Vinnie... uh, me and Vinnie are, like, together now."

"What--what do you mean?" Chandler stared at him wide-eyed, sure that he must be misunderstanding Joey somehow.

"I mean, you know..." Joey shrugged. "We had sex. Well, it wasn't just sex. I mean, we'd be like, going out, if we didn't have to keep it a secret from our families. I guess we're just gonna sneak around as friends for right now."

Chandler looked even more shocked, and he was incapable of any speech other than nonsensical gibberish. He could make some really weird noises sometimes.

Joey explained, "It just happened last night. See, we'd been fighting about you for a while. Yeah, um, the reason why he didn't like you, Chandler, and always thought you were gay, is because he was jealous of you. He's gay and in love with me. I love him too."

"Love him?" Chandler stood up suddenly, knocking over some stuff from his desk. "You--you slept with him last night?" The outrage made his voice squeak. "Last night?! Right after breaking up with me?" He was quite hurt and offended.

Joey was confused and urgently told him to hush, so they wouldn't be overheard. "Chandler, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?! How could you, Joe? How could you, just, one night after we...?" He sat down and swallowed, whispering, "Were you lying to me when you said you never did it with a guy before? Is it some routine come-on you always do?"

"No!" Joey replied. "No, but me and Vinnie are different. He's my best friend, and we've known each other forever. And he actually kissed me before, and..." But Joey couldn't understand why Chandler was acting all jealous and betrayed. "Chandler, you said it didn't mean anything when we did it, and that you're not really gay."

Chandler stammered and sputtered, "It--it's the principle, Joe. You can't just, just jump immediately into bed with somebody right after a breakup. And you can't just come in here, and..."

Joey said, "I didn't think you'd be so upset, and besides, Vinnie wanted--"

"Vinnie!" Chandler scoffed angrily. "No wonder he was such a jerk to me. You don't really love him, Joe. You can't love him after only one night. You--you're probably just on the rebound from me."

Now Joey was upset too. "I'm not!" he denied. "I love him. I told you it wasn't just last night. We've been friends forever, and he kissed me--"

"When?"

"A couple of weeks ago. That Friday I went home from school when I got hurt." Angela Delvecchio had shoved him against her car.

Chandler looked jealous again. "And what, you two have been making out behind my back all this time?'

"No, I--" But even if he did, what right did Chandler have to be mad? They weren't together then; they hardly knew each other, and still barely knew each other now.

Chandler insisted, "You can't love him."

"I do." To hurt Chandler back, Joey told him about his past with Vinnie. "Me and Vinnie have, have done stuff before. Yeah, I-I used to tell Vinnie everything I did when I had sex with girls. And if we were alone in his bedroom, Vinnie would close his eyes and fantasize about it, even getting hard and touching himself while I was there. I-I never freaked out or anything, and I never told him to stop either. See, I thought he was getting hot because he was imagining himself with the girls, but actually he was turned on by me. I was blind back then, but now I see that I did that kind of stuff with him 'cause I really am gay, and I love him too."

Chandler was stunned and speechless again.

Joey said, "So now we're together for real, all right? Anyway, I promised him that I'd stop hanging out with you except for tutoring stuff. But you know, I don't want to even do the tutoring anymore. Do you?"

Chandler turned away. "I-I don't even want to see you right now!"

"Good! Fine. Then I'll leave." He went to pick up his backpack, then added, "Oh, and don't tell anybody else about me and Vinnie, 'cause we're still keeping it a secret now. Especially Annie, 'cause then she'd just blab everything to your mother or my mother." Joey was pretty sure that Chandler didn't want anyone to suspect him of being gay, especially not his mother again.

Chandler wouldn't look at him, but he said, "Fine! Now get the hell out!"

"I'm going." Joey turned and left, slamming the door.

Once Joey was gone, Chandler sank onto his bed and buried his face in the pillow. When he recalled how he and Joey had made out in his bed, that upset him even more.

Nora suddenly knocked and came in. She had been typing in her office, but had heard Joey slam the door and leave, and now she rushed to her son, despite her promise to give him complete privacy lately.

"Chandler? Chandler, honey? What happened?" She sat down on the bed and caressed him soothingly.

Chandler didn't say anything other than, "Mom," and that came out in a broken sob. He hugged her and cried.

She was quite shocked to see Chandler crying like he hadn't done in years, probably since the divorce. Nora just held him close and tried to figure out what was wrong.

* * *

**Yeah, that's a lame-ass reason for Nora not to have overheard anything, but that's all I could come up with. Assume that Annie is out grocery shopping or something.**


	27. Moving On

**It is now November 1, 1983, and we are finally moving on from Halloween. Joey and Chandler have now broken up twice, this time fighting about Joey's new relationship with Vinnie.**

* * *

That Tuesday night, Joey headed home from the Bings' apartment and tried to calm down. He couldn't understand Chandler at all, sleeping with him one minute, then saying it meant nothing, then claiming that Joey didn't have the right to love somebody else. And all this, after having dated Joey's sister before!

Joey shook his head. Maybe Chandler was a self-centered jerk who was too messed up to know what he wanted. Joey was better off without him.

When he finally came home, he told his mother that Chandler wasn't going to tutor him anymore.

"What? But Joey, you need him."

He winced at the thought. "No, Ma, I really can't. We had a fight, and... Well, I feel guilty about seeing him 'cause of Mary Angela." Joey wondered if his sister had told their parents yet about Joey setting up Chandler on a date. He had promised not to interfere.

"Oh, Joey, that's terrible. I know Mary Angela is upset, but she's getting over it and she'll be happy soon enough. You still need to pass your classes."

"I know, Ma, but I-I couldn't concentrate with him lately anyway. It's no good anymore. Look, I'll do the best that I can, and I'll work really hard now. I-I won't even date girls anymore."

"Joey!" She scoffed.

"I mean it!" Joey insisted. "Yeah, and I'll study all the time with Vinnie now."

"Vinnie? But you boys always goof off instead of studying."

"Not anymore, Mom. I promise. Please. I really can't see Chandler anymore."

Gloria sighed at her son's stubbornness. "I don't know what I'm gonna tell your father."

"Tell him that I'm serious. I'm gonna go study right now." He headed upstairs to his room with determination.

She watched him go, then she went to call Annie, but she only got the answering machine. "Annie? It's me, Gloria Tribbiani. Joey just told me that he's not going to see Chandler for tutoring anymore. I don't know what's gotten into him."

* * *

Later, Annie called Gloria back and explained that she had been out, and that Nora had ignored the phone call because of Chandler's state. "He's so very upset."

"So the boys did have some kind of fight?"

"Yes, as far as I know. Nora said that Joey slammed the door when he left. We can't get much out of Chandler, though, because he's so incoherent. Did Joey tell you why they were fighting?"

"Not much. He said that he felt guilty about Mary Angela, since Chandler broke up with her."

"But why would that make Chandler upset?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think they're really going to stop the tutoring?"

"Joey acts like it, but I don't know how long that will last. We'll see, I guess."

"I'll let you know if Chandler says anything."

"Thanks."

* * *

Meanwhile, Joey tackled his homework with as much brute force as he could muster. It was odd, trying to recall all the studying and note-taking tips that Chandler had given him, and at the same time trying to forget every kiss and touch that they shared.

He even caught himself remembering all the jokes that Chandler told, and the sound of his laughter. How Chandler would always call him "Joe."

Joey grumbled and told himself yet again that it was just a crush, and he didn't love Chandler. Really, how could he love someone he'd only known a couple of weeks? Besides, Chandler had broken Mary Angela's heart too.

Joey finally sat up and called Vinnie. "Hey, Vinnie."

"Oh, hey." Vinnie warmed up right away. "Hey, Joey. So how'd tutoring go?"

"Awful. We didn't do any tutoring 'cause I told him about you and me first. He got upset."

"Really? Like, mad or shocked?"

"Well, not shocked..." Joey realized again that Vinnie was not aware of him sleeping with Chandler on Sunday night.

Vinnie guessed again, "Like jealous?"

"Uh, yeah." Joey decided not to deny it. "Yeah, I guess he was jealous. I--I don't get him at all. He makes no sense."

"Well, I told you that he's gay, and he wants you. Now he knows about us, he can't go after you anymore, and he's upset."

"I guess you're right." Vinnie had been right all along about everything. And yet, Chandler had denied being gay. And yet Chandler had slept with him...

Joey shook his head and dismissed the whole mess. Instead, he explained to Vinnie that he even ended the tutoring with Chandler. "Anyway, we had a fight, and I said I didn't want to do the tutoring anymore. So I left."

"Oh," Vinnie sounded pleasantly surprised at first, but then he remembered Joey's poor grades. "Are you sure your mom won't get mad at you? Or make you go back and see him?"

"Well I told her tonight that I was quitting, and said I would work really hard now on my own. Said I wouldn't date girls, and I'd go study with you all the time."

Vinnie liked that idea, but added, "But we won't get much studying done, now that we're together. Like last night, when we couldn't concentrate."

"I know. Those will have to be like our dates, huh? Since we can't go out anywhere?"

"Well, we could still go to movies and stuff, if we're careful. But what about your grades, Joey?" Vinnie was still a little worried, as Joey had a long history of getting nowhere in school. Vinnie did slightly better, but only with hard work and his brothers' old class notes.

"But I'll really try this time." Then Joey shrugged it off. "Look, if I fail, I fail. I'll retake the stuff in summer school, I guess, and have to graduate later than you." He joked and looked on the bright side. "That way I can put off joining my dad's pipefitting business, huh?"

"I guess. But I'll still see you, though? Right? Yeah, after I graduate, maybe I'll get an apartment of my own and you can live with me."

"Sure. And you'll have your car by then, and we can drive off wherever we want to. Take trips to the city like you said."

"Yeah, and you can try to get acting jobs or whatever."

"Yeah." Joey was happy talking about the future when they were fully grown up. They could be together openly, and Joey would no longer worry about what his family would think. He wouldn't mind coming out to them then, and Vinnie probably would feel good enough to tell his family too. Vinnie would no longer think of being gay as a horrible sin that they needed to repent.

They chatted for a while more, and Joey was able to relax enough to forget about Chandler. He said goodnight to Vinnie and then finished his homework before going to sleep.

* * *

Eventually, Chandler recovered enough to tell his mom a cover story for his grief. He claimed that he had just found out from Joey that Mary Angela had a new boyfriend. Actually, Chandler had already found this out at school, when his friends Jack, Matt, and Brian had mentioned how Mary Angela had gone to a Halloween party with some guy named Chris, and was now actively flaunting her new boyfriend to get back at Chandler.

"I bet you're relieved."

"Yeah, she must be over you now."

This news had not bothered Chandler in the slightest at school, but how would Nora know that? He mumbled, "And I-I said some mean stuff about her, and he took her side, so..." He hoped that she would accept that explanation.

Nora said, "And you're upset that she got over you so quickly, even though you're not ready to date again?"

Chandler nodded. "Like, like I didn't mean anything to..." He choked and stopped himself from mentioning Joey.

"Shh, it's okay. You'll get over her soon, honey, and you'll find someone else."

Chandler clung to her, and even though he wasn't telling her the truth, it was comforting to find his mother actually acting like a mother for once. He needed all the support he could get, because apparently his feelings for Joey ran deeper than he thought. He felt betrayed and hurt by the only guy that he considered his real friend at this school. He still could not bring himself to trust Jack, Matt, and Brian yet.

Chandler begged his mom to get him out of the public school and back into private school. She said he was still on the wait-list at the private school in Queens, but she would check again and see what she could do.

"Really?" He had begged to be transferred before, after the "Mistress Bitch" incident at his old prep school, but Nora had previously said that school humiliations happen to everyone, and he had to face them.

This time, however, Nora looked at him with a softened face and stroked his hair. She nodded. "Yes, I'll try for you, honey." She had never seen him so upset before, and she felt protective now.

"Thanks, Mom." He sniffled against her shoulder.

She kissed his head. "I love you, kiddo."

He clung to her, and for once, the nickname "kiddo" didn't bother him.

* * *

The next day, Chandler dreaded going to school, and after a hesitation, Nora decided to let him stay home. She stayed home too, working more on her novel, but frequently checking in on her son to talk, or even just hug him.

Annie called Gloria again to discuss what she had learned about the fight. Chandler eavesdropped for a while, but then decided that he didn't want to hear about Joey anymore.

So he asked his mom if he could smoke again, and she finally gave him back his cigarettes. He sat by the window smoking and contemplating whether he was really gay, like his dad. Would he somehow feel an urge to move to Vegas?

Chandler went back to school on Thursday, and he saw Joey and Vinnie together, still doing their best to act like just friends. Chandler knew they weren't, though, and he imagined what they did when they sneaked around in private. It upset him.

Jack and the others asked him why he stayed home yesterday, and Chandler lied that he was sick. He tried to busy himself catching up on his school work, but it wasn't that hard, and his thoughts drifted to Joey again.

He wondered if maybe, since they were a secret, Joey didn't really love Vinnie. Maybe he was just trying to make Chandler jealous and upset enough to admit he was gay? Maybe Joey was just using Vinnie, and they would break up soon.

Then what? Could he and Joey be friends again, or more? But how could he forgive Joey? Did he want to? Chandler shook his head in confusion and misery.

At the same time, Mary Angela continued to date Chris and get over Chandler. She even decided to make up with Joey, telling him that she forgave him for setting Chandler up on a date. "I guess I deserved it, for lying to you before. And I guess Chandler really wouldn't have come back to me, even if you didn't fix him up."

Joey nodded but felt guilty again about all that Mary Angela didn't know. He hugged her and said he was sorry too.

He kept seeing Vinnie in secret, kissing him and hugging him as quietly as he could. Vinnie had almost saved up enough for a car, and they often discussed what they would do with it, and how they could be alone together.

Joey kept his promise to not date girls and to try really hard to study. His grades were still low, but a little better than they used to be. Gloria sometimes would suggest that he make up with Chandler, but Joey adamantly refused.

After a few weeks, though, Joey's sisters Tina and Dina lost interest in eavesdropping on Mary Angela's new love life, and they instead listened in on Joey's phone conversations. They unfortunately caught Joey and Vinnie in the middle of some very intimate details, and they were shocked enough to quietly hang up.

The gossip-loving sisters were conflicted for a while, and could not believe what they had overheard. They even tried to convince themselves that they had misheard or misunderstood, because Joey could not possibly be gay. The secret drove them crazy until they finally tried to ask advice from one of their older sisters, but this only resulted in more shock and the news coming out to the whole family.

Joey Sr. refused to believe that his son was gay, but then he and Gloria began to watch Joey's behavior carefully, and they realized that Joey really was spending way too much time with Vinnie lately.

Vinnie even finally bought a car, and Joey had stayed out most of the night with him to celebrate.

So the Tribbianis confronted Joey directly, and Joey nodded. He was not ashamed, and was actually somewhat relieved to not hide anymore. He asked, "How did you know?"

They explained, and Joey decided to come clean as well, though he omitted mentioning anything that he did with Chandler. "Vinnie, um, he kissed me a while ago and confessed that he loved me. I said it was okay and tried to just keep being friends, but then I realized that I loved him too, and well, we've been seeing each other."

Gloria asked, "That's why you quit seeing Chandler? So you could see Vinnie more instead?"

"Yeah." Joey stared at his father, who was still shocked and speechless. "Dad, I'm sorry for sneaking around. It's just, Vinnie was worried about how his parents would take it, so we kept it a secret."

Joey Sr. didn't know what to say, so he got up and went to the garage to pace and bang stuff around.

Meanwhile Joey called Vinnie to tell him that his parents found out, and to discuss whether to tell the De Lucas as well. Vinnie was upset about being overheard on the phone, so he actually drove to the house to talk to Joey in person. They talked on the front porch while looking to make sure Joey's sisters weren't about.

Gloria called Annie to tell her the news. Chandler listened in, feeling hurt again, but by now he was resigned that Joey and Vinnie apparently were staying together, unless their parents decided to forbid them to see each other. But then Joey and Vinnie might attempt to defy them anyway, like Romeo and Juliet, only gay.

Chandler also heard Annie repeating the news to Nora, who looked stunned as well. "So maybe he picked a fight with Chandler, as an excuse to stop the tutoring?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

Nora then noticed Chandler in the hallway and tried to call him over to explain.

Chandler held back. "No, I-I heard you guys. I don't wanna talk about it." He just went back to his room, and locked the door.

He was glad that his mother had given back his lock, and he was even more glad that Nora had recently told him that would be admitted to the private school in January, right after the Christmas break. Hopefully, Chandler could finally forget about Joey there, and maybe, since this particular private school was coed, he could even try to date girls again. He felt he could not trust another guy, not after Joey.

* * *

So Chandler transferred schools and no longer saw Joey and Vinnie around. It annoyed him, though, that Annie continued to be friends with Gloria, and sometimes he would hear snatches of gossip about Joey's life. Apparently the De Lucas and Tribbianis accepted the relationship after a struggle.

Chandler tried not to hear any news, nor to miss Joey at all. His relationship with his mother was slightly better, but still awkward sometimes. Her latest book was a success, though, replenishing her wealth so they could get a better apartment.

When Chandler visited his dad in Vegas during the summers, he feared that his father would somehow know about his encounter with Joey, through gay radar or something. However, Charles Bing didn't suspect anything, and he accepted the story he had heard about Mary Angela. Chandler avoided talking about it and built up more emotional walls.

At the new school, Chandler made friends again by telling more sarcastic jokes, and he eventually did lose his virginity with a girl, but it was nothing really special. It made Chandler more determined to get over Joey, though.

So in two years Chandler finished high school and left for college. He heard that after graduation, Joey moved to Manhattan with Vinnie and was trying to become an actor. Like Al Pacino, he guessed.

With no child at home now, Nora began jetsetting around the world again on book tours, and Annie went with her.

Chandler was glad to hear no more news of Joey Tribbiani.

* * *

**This is not the end of Joey & Chandler. The next chapter skips through college, and then meeting the other Friends, so they'll find each other again in Manhattan.**

**I just feel that Joey & Chandler staying together as teenagers would be too difficult and unrealistic, given the too recent history with Mary Angela, Chandler's continuing issues with his father, and the fact that Nora intended to transfer Chandler to another school anyway. The boys need some space right now, and a few more years to move away from their parents too.**

**Vinnie-haters will be relieved to know that Vinnie will be written out, and will not appear in the story anymore.**


	28. Reunited

**I'm assuming that Ross and Chandler began college in August or September of 1987, because of the Thanksgiving flashbacks from that year and the next. The guys would presumably be 18 at that time. I shall alter those incidents slightly because I was always annoyed by the continuity error about Ross and Chandler being in a band together, when in episode 407, no one was aware of Ross's secret keyboard sound.**

**As for Ross's inexperience with women, we must remember that Chandler was shocked to hear that Carol was Ross's first lover (104), and he had no idea about Ross making out with his high school librarian Mrs. Alden (809). As for the cleaning lady in college, that clearly contradicts the whole story about Carol being his first, so let's ignore that. Assume that Ross lied about his experience, so that Chandler thinks that Ross is not a virgin anymore.**

* * *

On his first day at college, Chandler met Ross Geller, his dorm roommate. Chandler had never had to share a room before, let alone with a stranger, so he had to learn patience and compromise.

Ross could be quite boring when he talked about science, and his noisy air purifier got on Chandler's nerves. On the other hand, the roommates did have some things in common, because they enjoyed _The Lord of the Rings_, along with their other friend Mike Ganderson. Mike was even known as Gandalf, the party wizard, due to his amazing ability to conjure up exciting adventures wherever he went.

Sometimes Ross and Chandler also bonded about their awkwardness with women. Chandler had lost his virginity with a girl in his last year in high school, but he seldom kept any girlfriends for long. It was probably due to his inability to trust anyone, and his tendency to keep people at a distance with his sarcastic jokes.

Ross apparently also had little luck with women, probably due to his terrible flirting skills. He also seemed to be carrying a torch for some girl named Rachel Green. Ross often moped about her and mentioned that she was best friends with his younger sister Monica.

As Thanksgiving approached, Chandler heard that his mother would be abroad that week, and he received an invitation from his father in Vegas, so that he wouldn't be alone on the day that he most hated. Chandler declined, however, and luckily he found an excuse to join Ross for Thanksgiving instead.

Ross had learned from his folks that Rachel's family would be out of town, so she would be spending the holiday with the Gellers. Possibly she'd bring her boyfriend Chip Matthews along, and that made Ross depressed. So Chandler conveniently offered to keep Ross company, and to try out their new fake IDs at a bar.

But when they arrived for Thanksgiving, Rachel didn't bring Chip, because apparently they had suddenly broken up. Mr. and Mrs. Geller seemed not to like Chandler at all, while Monica seemed to be almost too friendly to him. Chandler did his best to be polite, but she really reminded him of his camp girlfriend Julie, and he did not find her attractive.

Then Ross overheard Rachel saying that she would now date mature men instead of high school boys, and he tried to impress her all through dinner.

As they washed the dishes after dinner, Ross told Chandler, "I'm thinking about asking Rachel out tonight."

"Right on! Oh, but ask her out for Friday, okay? 'Cause we're gonna test out our fake IDs tonight, right, Clifford Alvarez?"

"Oh yeah, I didn't forget, Roland Chang. But listen, maybe we should go to the bar later this weekend instead, so I can take Rachel out tonight. I've been working on her all night, and I'm sure she'll go for it if I offer her a shoulder to cry on. But if I wait, she might decide to go join her family skiing in Vail, so I gotta make my move now."

Chandler complained, "Dude, don't do that to me!"

Ross assured him, "It's cool, you can stay here. My parents won't mind."

"No, it's not that. I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister."

"Hey!" Ross stuck up for Monica.

"Sorry," Chandler said, but still pouted as he continued drying the dishes.

In any case, Ross's plans failed because Rachel got back together with Chip and left.

Chandler made up with Ross and told him that he shouldn't mope about Rachel any more. She was cute, but not that pretty, considering her big nose, and she was clearly not that mature. He could do better than some flighty high school cheerleader. Ross protested against Chandler's insult because he found nothing really wrong with a Jewish nose, but he did appreciate Chandler's sentiment of support. They went out to a bar after all.

Back at college, Ross and Chandler often went to concerts together because they liked the same bands like Wham! and Flock of Seagulls. Chandler wanted to start a band too, but Ross didn't want to play his keyboard for an audience and refused to even let Chandler hear him play.

"Come on, man! Your 'sound' can't be that weird or geeky. I only know how to play the clarinet, remember? But we can buy guitars and fake it until we get better."

"No, I can't play my songs. They're too personal."

"They're not about Rachel, are they?"

Ross only shrugged, while Chandler rolled his eyes and sighed.

Ross even saw Rachel again in May when he came home in time for the high school prom and Rachel once again arrived without Chip. But Ross still couldn't swoop in before Chip showed up. However, Rachel did catch Chip cheating on her that night and dumped him, but Ross decided not to pursue her since he could not be sure that Rachel wouldn't go back to her boyfriend again. In any case, Rachel continued to ignore Ross most of the summer while she got a nose job and helped Monica lose weight.

By his sophomore year, Ross started dating Carol Willick, and he seemed to finally be over his crush on Rachel. Then Chandler came home with Ross for Thanksgiving again, and was shocked to see how much weight Monica had lost. Rachel was there too, visiting because she did not go to the same college as Monica.

Chandler tried to talk with Monica in the kitchen, but he suddenly lost his toe in a freak knife accident, and he miserably spent the night in the hospital. This confirmed for him that Thanksgiving was the worst holiday ever, and he decided to spend the day alone from now on. He would lie to friends and say that he was spending it with his family, but instead he would spend it alone eating Funyuns and grilled cheese sandwiches. At least then, nobody could call him "Sir Limps-a-lot."

When Chandler graduated college in 1991, he still had no idea what career he really wanted; he was too chicken to be a comedian, because even if he could tell funny jokes among friends, he could never take the rejection if an audience booed him. So Chandler took a boring data processing job that he hated, but he rationalized to himself that it was only temporary. He just needed to be able to afford an apartment so he wouldn't have to depend on either his mother or his father anymore.

Meanwhile Ross married Carol and began graduate school so that he could become a paleontologist. He seemed really happy, and Chandler sometimes envied Ross, because he still had no steady girlfriend himself. Chandler was at least grateful to get a new roommate who didn't have an annoying air purifier. He and Kip lived across the hall from Monica and Phoebe, a very weird girl who played guitar and gave massages. Monica was now a chef, and she apparently no longer heard from her former friend Rachel.

Phoebe eventually moved out because she could not take Monica's controlling behavior, but Monica managed to get by, since her apartment actually belonged to her grandmother.

Sometimes Chandler would commiserate with Monica whenever they had bad luck dating, but by now Chandler was so used to seeing Monica as Ross's sister, that he did not try to ask her out. After all, things had been very disastrous when he'd dated Joey's sister back in high school, and he did not want to repeat any of that. Instead it was Kip who began dating Monica.

* * *

One night in 1993, Chandler got a phone call from his mom, who was getting married again and wanted to invite Chandler to the wedding in Europe. He reluctantly congratulated her, but claimed that he didn't have enough vacation time to make the trip.

Even when he hung up, Chandler still felt annoyed and didn't want to hang around his apartment in case Annie tried to call him and talk him into going to the wedding. So Chandler got up and went out to catch a movie.

There was no movie that he wanted to see, though, so he kept walking. Eventually he passed by a theatre advertising a play version of Pinocchio. Chandler shrugged and thought it might be fun to kill the time. He could pretend that he had a normal childhood like everybody else, not an emotionally scarring one.

But as he sat down and looked at the cast list, he recognized one name: Joey Tribbiani. It couldn't be. Surely not. But then again, the last that Chandler had heard, Joey was an actor in Manhattan. But no, Joey wouldn't be acting in a kids' play, would he? He'd be trying to get parts in movies. But maybe he hadn't had his big break yet. Chandler couldn't decide, and then the lights went down.

When the play began, it was indeed Joey, dancing out and singing, "Once I was a wooden boy..." He looked much more grown up than he had in high school, so it was odd for Joey to be starring in a play as a young boy, wooden or not.

Chandler was so stunned that he sat through the whole play. It was pretty bad, including the laughable special effects to make Pinocchio's nose grow. When it was over, the lights came up, and Joey finally spotted Chandler when he stood up to leave.

"Chandler?" Joey looked shocked and hurried from the stage as the audience scattered. "I mean, whoa. It's been ten years."

"Yeah." Chandler smiled awkwardly and fidgeted. Now he didn't know what to say.

Joey looked down at his juvenile costume and looked embarrassed. He took Chandler aside, near the stage, and admitted, "It's harder than I thought to be an actor."

Chandler shrugged it off. "It doesn't matter. As long as you're happy." He imagined that Joey was probably happy with Vinnie. Everybody was happier than he was, because they were in couples.

"Well, it was nice of you to come," Joey said. "Thanks. Hey, um, let me go change, and I'll buy you some coffee, huh?"

Chandler blinked in surprise. "Wouldn't that make Vinnie jealous?"

"Vinnie? No, uh, actually, we broke up."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It was a while back. I thought maybe you would have heard about it already from Annie, but I guess not."

"No, I-I don't keep in touch with her and my mom much."

"Oh, that's too bad." Joey looked at him with the old concern that he had shown back when in high school.

Chandler tried not to remember what it felt like to hug Joey. "I do know that my mom's getting married again."

"Oh, good for her. So, wait here, Chandler, and I'll be right back."

"No, Joe, don't--" Chandler tried to protest, but Joey had already left to change his clothes. Chandler wanted to leave, but he felt it would be rude to do so. Besides, he didn't have anywhere else to go tonight. Well, coffee wouldn't hurt, would it?


	29. Looking Back

**[Okay an update. There's some Vinnie here in flashback, but that's it.**

**It's sometime in 1993, a year before the pilot episode. It's been ten years since their sophomore year of high school in Queens, and they have been reunited in Manhattan. Joey has changed out of his costume for the Pinocchio play, and has left the theatre with Chandler now.]**

* * *

So Joey took Chandler out for coffee, and asked how he was doing now, after all these years.

Chandler nervously smoked a cigarette, and said he was fine. He rambled a little about his dull job, but said that at least data processing paid good money. He said that Joey really didn't have to worry about him. "I'm okay with my mom. It's just that she travels so much for her books, that's all. We don't fight like we used to."

"That's good. How about your dad?"

Chandler shrugged and gestured with the cigarette. "Still gay, still in Vegas."

"Oh right. Vegas." Annie and Gloria had swapped stories about Mr. Bing's burlesque show, while trying to understand Joey's relationship with Vinnie. The hardest part had been convincing the Tribbiani family that he was not going to suddenly become a drag queen and move to Vegas. Each gay person was different, after all, and Joey had no weird urges like that. He just wanted to become an actor like Al Pacino, and that was even before he came out of the closet.

Joey asked, "So you still see your dad?"

Chandler frowned and glanced away, murmuring, "I don't wanna get into it, Joe." How odd that he kept falling into the old habit of calling him Joe.

Joey noticed that habit too, and it reminded him of their one passionate night together. Ten years, and it was somehow vivid again. He cleared his throat and told himself that he should feel bad for Chandler's issues with his gay dad instead. He was still smoking too, and that was not healthy.

Joey moved to touch Chandler's arm, but Chandler pulled back and dropped his cigarette into the ashtray. "Please."

Joey nodded and said softly, "Okay. I'm sorry." After all, maybe Chandler's family problems weren't any of his business anymore.

"Thank you." Chandler started to get up from the table. "Um, listen, thanks for the coffee..."

"Wait, Chandler." Joey stopped him. "Wait, I-I want to apologize to you for other stuff too. For... you know, back in high school."

Chandler met his eyes and sat back down. "You-you do?"

"Yeah." He worried for a moment that Chandler might not like to discuss their painful history, but since he didn't leave, Joey decided to plunge ahead. "I'm sorry I broke up with you like that, Chandler. How I... you know, with you, and got together with Vinnie right after. I should have known you'd be hurt, but I was too upset myself to realize it."

"Yeah, I-I guess I shouldn't have said those things about Vinnie, either. You really did love him then, huh?"

"Yeah, I did. But I still shouldn't have involved you. I didn't mean to treat you like a one-night stand, Chandler. I was just a confused kid, you know. I wish I'd handled it better, or waited, or... well, if I'd only admitted my feelings for Vinnie before, then nothing would have happened between you and me, and maybe we could have been friends."

Chandler considered that, then shook his head. "Not with how Vinnie hated me," he managed to joke.

Joey smiled. "I guess not. So no hard feelings, Chandler?"

"No, I-thanks, Joe. You didn't have to apologize after all this time."

"No I wanted to. I should have tried to apologize to you before now, actually. I didn't know where you were, but I could have, like, sent a message through Annie I guess. I wasn't sure if you'd want to hear it, though. Maybe it would just upset you or something. But since you came by today, I figured I should say it now."

"Yeah, that's nice of you." Chandler nodded and drank from his coffee again.

Joey was glad that he hadn't lit up a new cigarette, and he smiled. For a moment Joey wondered if he should ask whether Chandler was gay or not. His gaydar was giving him mixed signals, and there were all those issues with Chandler's gay dad too. But still, it probably wasn't his business.

So he changed the subject and talked about what he'd been doing in the past ten years. "Well, so me and Vinnie dated for a few years, and we moved to Manhattan together."

"Yeah, I heard, but not much after that." Chandler had been away at college.

"We got an apartment on our own. My dad wanted me to go into the family pipe-fitting business, but Vinnie said I should go for my dream to become an actor."

"Like Al Pacino?"

"Yeah!" Joey was surprised that Chandler remembered his hero. "Vinnie was going to community college to figure out what he wanted to do, while I took some acting classes. It was hard sometimes because we both had to get jobs to support ourselves too."

"Yeah, that sounds tough."

Joey nodded. "Most of the time we were happy, and but other times we fought about money and stuff."

"Is that why you guys broke up?"

Joey hesitated, and wasn't sure that he should reveal something so personal. He said carefully, "Well, this was our first serious relationship, and we were so young, you know. I guess we started to outgrow each other. I mean, we loved each other, but... it wasn't enough after a while. Vinnie met a lot of people in college that were really different, and he also got interested in other places besides New York. He even moved to Chicago and got a job there."

Chandler felt bad for him. "Oh. So you don't see him anymore?"

"No, sometimes he'll come visit his family and meet me too, but mostly we just call each other now. He's dating a new guy in Chicago, and I'm happy for him."

"Well, that's good. Are you seeing anybody now?"

"Yeah, plenty," Joey said a little defensively before realizing that he could have just said that he didn't want to discuss his love life. Why should he say more than Chandler was saying? But he couldn't backtrack now, so he said more calmly, "I mean, nobody serious right now."

"Sure I get it. You want to explore your options now that you're gay and single again."

"I-yeah, sort of. Actually, I think I'm bi."

"Oh really? You still like girls?"

"Yeah. I figured it out when I sometimes noticed hot girls, you know. But I didn't cheat on Vinnie," he added.

"Sure," Chandler said reassuringly. "I know not everybody's gay like, like my dad is." He blushed a little at letting slip that much, but no doubt Joey had already heard about all of his father's "business associates" in Vegas.

"Right." Joey dismissed the whole subject. "What I'm really worried about is my career right now. If only I could get a better part than Pinocchio, you know?"

"Yeah." Chandler laughed with him and said, "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get your big break someday."

Joey smiled. "Thanks, Chandler."

They held each other's eyes for a moment before they were interrupted by the waitress saying that the coffeehouse was going to close soon.

"Oh, uh, right." They paid their bill, and Chandler checked his watch as he got up from the table. "I, um, I should get home anyway."

"Yeah, it's late." They walked to the door together.

Outside, Chandler shook his hand. "It was good to see you again, Joe. Thanks for the coffee."

"Yeah, and thanks for coming to my play."

"Yeah. Good luck on your big break. I'll be looking to see your name in a movie someday."

"I hope so. Bye."

Chandler said goodbye to him and even pat his shoulder before going. He waved, then turned and walked back home.

* * *

Joey watched Chandler for a moment, then left for his own home. He felt a little guilty for not telling Chandler the whole truth about his break up with Vinnie, but it would just make him uncomfortable.

No, Chandler wouldn't want to know about their last fight.

They had been fighting again about whether Joey should postpone his acting classes so that they could afford to pay for more of Vinnie's classes. It was hard to budget for both, and they had been awkwardly trying to trade off as fairly as possible, but there were still resentments. Who could use the car, who would have to cook, since they couldn't afford to eat takeout all the time, etc.

Also, Joey had often felt insecure about Vinnie getting along so well with his friends from college, and Vinnie had thought that it was simple jealousy. Actually Joey knew that Vinnie wasn't cheating on him or even attracted to anyone in his study group, but Joey still felt left out of their world and their conversations. It made him feel inadequate and stupid, like Vinnie would outgrow him now that he had a bigger world than their old life in Queens.

And still Vinnie believed that it was only sexual jealousy. He said he was sorry for being so possessive and jealous when he was younger. He'd been privately pining for Joey for so long, that the threat of Chandler's presence made him miserable. "But we don't have to be paranoid anymore. I promise you."

At the mention of Chandler, Joey felt guilty again.

Vinnie said, "Maybe you think because I didn't have as much experience as you did that I want to experiment with other guys."

"No."

"But you're bi, Joey, and you've been tempted. That doesn't mean you'd cheat. I trust you. Don't worry. After all, we were both virgins when we got together."

Joey couldn't take the lie anymore, and he said softly that he wasn't a virgin.

"In gay stuff. You know what I mean."

"No, I wasn't." Joey finally confessed that he had slept with Chandler once.

"What? When?"

Joey explained the exact day it occurred, and that shocked Vinnie even more. "You mean, I was second? I was your rebound after he broke your heart?"

"No, he didn't-"

"He did. He said he wasn't gay and that it meant nothing to him. And you-did you picture him when you were with me?"

"No. I-I loved you. I still love you. I just, I didn't want to hurt you-"

Vinnie wouldn't hear him out any longer. He was so upset that he was crying now. Joey had been lying to him for so many years, and his trust was broken. He packed a bag and left that night, and it wasn't long before he permanently moved out.

No, Joey couldn't tell that story to Chandler. He didn't want Chandler to feel guilty. Joey was the one to blame. He was the one who had lied, who'd been a stupid, messed up kid.

Joey also knew that in some way he had been trying to provoke the breakup with Vinnie, trying to let him go because deep down he knew they couldn't last any longer. Vinnie was better off learning more about what life was like on his own.

Anyway, everything had worked out in the end. Vinnie was happy now, and they were friends again. It had taken almost a year to cool down and move on, but Joey had come to see him during a visit to his family in Queens.

Vinnie excused himself so they could talk outside, and Joey apologized to him again. Vinnie also apologized, saying that his own jealous behavior had probably pushed Joey into Chandler's arms.

"Besides, if I had been braver and kissed you before he came along, then we could have been together without any lie."

"Yeah, but I-I could have kissed you too. I was in denial so long."

"I'm sorry he hurt you."

Joey shrugged. "It doesn't matter now. Let's be friends again, please."

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."

* * *

Joey arrived at home and carefully sneaked into the apartment while trying to not wake up anyone. He was staying with a cousin of his, and practically his cousin's girlfriend too. She stayed over all the time lately and they were planning to get married soon. Joey would have to find a new place to live, probably with another roommate. He was going to check the advertisements tomorrow.

For now Joey locked the door then went into his bedroom. He undressed, then brushed his teeth in the bathroom. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he thought of how much he must have changed in ten years. Had he changed as much as Chandler had? More?

Joey sighed and went to bed. As he lay there, he thought about his meeting with Chandler tonight. What on earth had made Chandler come see him? Had he just noticed a newspaper ad about the play, and just recognized Joey's name?

Chandler looked so different now. He'd grown up, though he was in many ways an awkward, vulnerable kid still. That must have been part of why Joey had loved him once.

It was odd now to remember when he had loved Chandler. He hadn't wanted to admit it to himself for a while, and yet sometimes he remembered, only to tell himself that it was all ancient history.

He wondered again if Chandler was straight.

Back in high school, Joey had heard his mother mention once or twice the fact that Chandler was dating a girl at his new private school.

"He must be getting over Mary Angela."

He must be getting over me, too, Joey had privately thought. He'd been glad of that, because he felt kind of bad about their final fight. Once his anger dissipated, Joey found himself reconsidering his idea that Chandler was a self-centered jerk who had deliberately broken Mary Angela's heart as well as his own. Maybe Chandler just didn't know what he wanted. Maybe he had not meant to be hurtful by saying that Joey couldn't love Vinnie. Maybe Chandler just didn't know how to deal with his jealousy and so lashed out.

And now, ten years later, what was Chandler doing? Had he changed his mind once he went away to college? Explored his options? Joey couldn't help feeling that Chandler was at least a little bit gay, considering their one night of sex. But maybe Chandler had just been emotional and confused then. Or maybe he was bisexual?

Joey had come to understand that sexuality could be pretty complicated, and you needed time to figure yourself out. He hoped that Chandler had figured himself out by now, or at least could make up with his gay dad some day. Maybe he could be happy then, instead of awkward and nervous.

* * *

**[Chandler means that his gay dad doesn't have a monogamous relationship with one partner, but not every gay person is that promiscuous. Chandler understands that Joey, though bi, would not cheat. Being bisexual doesn't necessarily mean you can't be faithful to one lover.**

**Joey couldn't keep his apartment once Vinnie left, for both financial and emotional reasons, and that's when he moved in with his male cousin. As you can see, he and Chandler are going to get back together in one more chapter.]**


	30. Near Misses

**[Okay I lied. It took more than one chapter to finish, but I'm posting them all together so you won't have to wait.]**

* * *

The next day after work, Chandler's phone rang. "Hello."

Joey was shocked. "Chandler?"

Chandler gasped and sat up. "Joey? How-how'd you know my number? From Annie?" But that would be an expensive phone call to Europe.

"No, uh, I saw your ad for a roommate. I didn't know it was your ad, though."

Chandler had not put his name in the advertisement, only his number. "Oh, right. Wow. I never expected you to be calling."

"Yeah, I never expected you to be the guy with the two-bedroom apartment in the Village."

Chandler laughed nervously. "It's a small world, I guess."

"Yeah! Sure is."

"So why do you need a new apartment, Joe? Puppet theatre not paying enough?"

Joey laughed. "My cousin is getting married, and they're gonna live here, so I gotta find a new place now."

"Oh. I'm in the same boat, sort of. My roommate Kip is moving out to live with his girlfriend Monica."

"So you get to keep the apartment?"

"Yeah. Her's is nicer and rent-controlled." And she refused to live in such a filthy place. He added, "But mine is good too, if you wanna see it. I mean..." He wasn't sure if Joey being bi meant that he was a slob like regular guys or not. He knew that some gay guys were as fastidious as Monica was. "Um, let me clean up a little around here first."

"Oh, that's okay. I don't have to come over right now. How about tomorrow?"

"Oh, sure. So he gave Joey his address, and also wrote down Joey's phone number. He hung up and looked at the note incredulously.

Joey might move in here. Joey Tribbiani, from high school. It had been years since Chandler let himself remember what happened between them, and he had never told the secret to anyone, not Nora or Annie, and not any of his friends either. Because telling someone would mean that he had to admit that he had been gay once, that the confusing feelings had been real, and that his heart had been broken by a boy.

Joey wasn't a boy any longer though, and neither was he. Joey had apologized to him last night, and it made him feel better. Chandler forgave him and thought he might like to be friends again. But was it too soon to live together? Would it be awkward? Would they keep remembering the past? Would he have to tell Joey to keep the past a secret, and only mention the tutoring or Mary Angela in front of his friends? What if Joey didn't like any of Chandler's friends, or what if they didn't like him?

Chandler was still worrying about this when Kip came out of his room with another heavy cardboard box. The living room was littered with them, and Chandler complained, "I don't know why you gotta have all these boxes. It's just across the hall."

"Yeah but Monica wants everything neat and organized. If I don't pack, I'll forget something and keep coming back here all the time. It'll annoy your new roommate."

"Well, why don't you go ahead and take some boxes over there now?" Chandler started to pick up a box to carry, but then he noticed what was inside. "You're taking the hibachi?"

"Yeah. She's got that balcony, and I can cook stuff on it."

"But it's my hibachi too. I paid for half of it."

"Sure, and you can eat what I cook on it."

Chandler put down the box and took the hibachi out. "But I should get to keep it. We bought this table together too and I'm keeping that."

"Because Monica already has a table and chairs. It wouldn't match anything in her apartment anyway."

Chandler pouted. "You don't need to cook anything, anyway. She cooks all the time."

Kip tried to take the hibachi from him. "What are you gonna do, cook on the fire escape again?"

"Why not? It's mine."

"It's not yours. It's mine too." They kept arguing, and Kip insisted that the hibachi be a sort of housewarming present from Chandler to him now that he was moving. They fought for a while until Chandler finally went into his room and slammed the door. He pouted, then looked at his note with Joey's number. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to live with Joey.

* * *

The next day, Chandler noticed that Kip had already moved some boxes to Monica's, and the hibachi was gone too. Chandler decided not to fight over it right now since he needed to clean up for Joey's visit.

Kip was still over at Monica's when Joey buzzed the apartment.

"Hey, Joe. Come on up."

"Okay."

Chandler did one last bit of tidying, then stood by the door waiting.

Coming up the stairs, Joey initially knocked across the hall, so Chandler opened his door. "No, Joe, that's Monica's."

"Monica's? You mean she lives across the hall?"

Chandler nodded and started to speak, but just then, Kip answered the door. "Hello?"

"Never mind. Joey just got the wrong door."

Joey said, "Yeah, sorry."

"Oh okay. Joey, huh? I'm Kip."

"Hi." Joey was confused when he saw a strange tense look pass between Chandler and Kip. But Kip was with Monica, right?

Turning to him, Chandler gestured and said, "You wanna come in, Joe?"

"Sure." Joey followed Chandler into the apartment.

Chandler shut the door. "Sorry for all the boxes. Kip's still packing."

"Well you'd think he wouldn't have to, since it's just across the hall."

"I know, but Monica wanted him to." So Chandler showed Joey around the place, and Joey seemed to like it. He didn't even care about how dirty the bathroom looked.

Then they returned to the kitchen and sat at the table to discuss the rent. Joey also asked if Chandler was sure he wanted to do this. Would it be awkward to live together?

"No, um, would it be awkward for you? Would Mary Angela be upset?"

"No, I don't think so. She's over you."

"Good. Did you ever tell her about... you know?"

Joey understood. "No."

"I haven't told anybody either." They looked at each other for a moment, not sure what to say, then they quickly broke eye contact. "Um, so, I'll call you when Kip finishes moving out?"

"Yeah, okay. I gotta pack my stuff too."

They rose from the table, and Joey said goodbye as he left.

* * *

Back at home, Joey started to pack, but kept thinking about Chandler. He had been tempted to give him a hug, but he couldn't tell if Chandler wanted it. If Joey moved in with him, would he still have trouble reading his signals? Not knowing when to ask personal questions? Not able to stop himself from flirting with or kissing him? Joey didn't want to make Chandler uncomfortable. Besides, he didn't even know if Chandler was dating anybody now. He should have asked.

Joey considered calling Chandler back and saying he didn't want to move in, but then he got a phone call from Chandler.

He sounded upset. "Joe, I'm sorry, something's come up."

"What?"

"It's my friend Ross. He's getting a divorce." Chandler explained that Ross's wife Carol just came out as a lesbian.

"Whoa!"

"Yeah, he just found out, and he's staying at Monica's right now. She's his sister."

"Oh."

"But the thing is-he'll need a place to stay because of the divorce, so he can't stay there once Kip moves in. He'll have to move in with me."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Joe. It's just, I can't say no to him. He's my best friend."

"Of course. I understand."

"You sure? Hey, maybe Ross and Carol can work out it so that she moves in with her new girlfriend, and he can keep the apartment-"

"No, no. Don't worry about me, Chandler. It's fine. I'll find another place to stay. I called at other places before I saw your ad."

"Oh. So, you'll be okay?"

"Sure. Maybe, um, we can call each other sometimes?"

"Yeah, definitely. Thanks, Joe."

So Joey hung up and contemplated what it meant for Ross to be Chandler's best friend. If Kip wasn't his best friend, yet he inspired that strange tension, then what did Ross mean to Chandler? Maybe Chandler was in love with Ross, and now with Ross getting a divorce, something might happen? Joey wasn't sure, but if there was a chance for Chandler to be happy, then Joey would like to stay out of the way.


	31. Double Date

**[Now we're going into 1994, with some altered events from the season 1 episodes.]**

* * *

So Joey called Chandler sometimes, and tried not to pry into his personal life. Chandler mainly discussed Ross's divorce, anyway, and well as him quitting smoking because otherwise Ross would make him help pay for the air purifier filters. "Because by his logic, my smoking is using up the filters faster."

"Oh, that's annoying."

"Yeah, he's been that way since college. But I put up with him somehow." Chandler sighed. "He's a wreck about the divorce, and he locks himself in his room to play his keyboard, but he'll never let me hear him. I'm sure he's writing songs about Carol and how she cheated on him with Susan from the gym."

Joey responded sympathetically, then talked about his own family. His older sister Cookie recently discovered that her husband Ricky was cheating on her, so she shot him in the foot. "Now she has to go to jail, and he can hardly walk, so I'm moving in to take care of the kids, while they figure out how the divorce goes."

"Wow." Chandler was stunned. After an awkward silence, he tried to invite Joey to meet his friends at the coffeehouse, but Joey said he couldn't get away from the kids. They depended on Uncle Joey now.

He used the same excuse when Chandler asked Joey to come with him to Nora's wedding. "Wouldn't you rather take Ross anyway?"

"No, I-I think the wedding would make him depressed about Carol again."

"Oh. So he's still not appreciating his freedom yet? He got married too young. You gotta show him everything he can do now he's single again. How he can... explore."

Chandler was oblivious. "He's terrible at flirting. Besides, I wanted a vacation from his moping. To relax, you know... Maybe I shouldn't go to the wedding."

"No, Chandler you can't miss it. It's your mom!"

"I know, but-" He sighed in disappointment. Chandler had only agreed to go because he thought it might be fun if Joey was there. They could spend time together. "I thought Ricky could take care of the kids now that he's out of the cast."

"No, I'm sorry. He's still got physical therapy to do, and he's still trying to convince Cookie to take him back. How about one of your other friends, huh?"

So Joey continued this pattern of keeping a careful distance for a while. He was surprised when Chandler visited him at the mall where he was playing one of Santa's elves. Chandler invited him to a New Year's party at Monica's, but Joey said he had a date already.

"So bring her."

"No, um, we're going to a party at Mary Angela's. Sorry."

Then Chandler called to say that Kip broke up with Monica and moved out. Apparently, after a few months, he couldn't take Monica's neurotic need to clean and organize everything anymore. She was like Ross, only more tightly wound. Kip tried to stay friends with the gang while discreetly avoiding Monica, but it was too difficult and awkward. Since he had moved away, farther even than Phoebe, Kip eventually got phased out of the group.

Ross's divorce finally went through, but he had one last night of pity sex with Carol, only to learn later that she was pregnant and keeping the baby.

Meanwhile Monica's old friend Rachel suddenly showed up in a wet wedding dress; she had left her groom at the altar. Ross became obsessed with her all over again, and Chandler was conflicted about discouraging the old flame; maybe it would get Ross over Carol? Then Rachel moved in with Monica and got a job as a waitress in Central Perk, so she became part of the gang.

So Chandler accepted that Rachel could at least be a rebound fling, and he tried to convince Ross to make a move, but Ross worried that it was too soon after her broken engagement. Besides, he was dealing with Carol's pregnancy and trying to get along with Susan. More time passed, and Ross found more excuses to delay when it came to Rachel. He even got a pet monkey named Marcel. Chandler was annoyed, but he did like watching the monkey juggle his rolled up socks.

As for Joey, Ricky recovered enough that he could take care of the kids more. Joey stayed and had time now to take another acting gig. He invited Chandler to opening night of his _Freud!_ musical, and encouraged him to bring a date.

Chandler brought a girl from work, but the musical was just as bad as the Pinocchio play. Joey was depressed at first, until he got a card from an agent.

"That's great!" Chandler congratulated him. "Maybe an agent can get you better parts?"

"Yeah, maybe."

Chandler wanted to go get coffee with Joey again, but his date wanted to go. "Uh, I'll call you tomorrow, Joe?"

"Yeah. Bye."

So Joey went home with a sigh. Chandler must be straight then. Nothing had happened with Ross after all this time, and he didn't show jealousy about Rachel. Joey had also learned that Chandler was just mad at Kip about the hibachi. Joey could not understand why his gaydar was so wrong when it came to Chandler. Unless he was only seeing what he wanted to see.

After all, Joey had been blind about Vinnie before. He also found out now that his dad had a mistress, for six years. Worse than that, his mom knew about it but didn't mind the cheating; she called it Joey Sr.'s "hobby."

Upset, Joey called Vinnie to tell him everything, and Vinnie convinced him to date again, to get over his renewed feelings for Chandler. "It'll make you feel better."

"I guess so."

"And maybe when you get better parts, you can afford to move out of Cookie's house."

* * *

So now it was February, the day before Valentine's, and Joey was on a date with Lorraine, who was always good for some mindless sex, but she wanted to double date with her friend Janice.

Joey agreed, since more people meant that he didn't have to pay for the fancy dinner by himself. However, he was shocked to meet Janice's date in the cab.

"Chandler?"

"Oh hey, Joe." Chandler grinned and touched his arm. "You're Lorraine's date?"

"Yeah, I- What happened to your other girl?"

"What?" Janice asked. Boy, she had an annoying voice.

Chandler explained, "No, he's talking about a girl I dated a week ago."

"Oh, before you got back together with me," Janice said. She kissed him, then asked, "So how do you and Joey know each other?"

"Oh, uh, we're old friends from-from high school."

"High school? But he saw you last week?"

"Yeah, he's an actor and we met again at one of his plays. We've been keeping in touch since."

"Not very well, if you didn't mention that we were back together." She laughed, and amazingly it was even more annoying than her speaking voice.

Joey forced a smile on his face and said nothing.

Lorraine changed the subject, fortunately, and she held onto his arm as if she felt a little bit in competition with Janice, who was quite bubbly and affectionate because she and Chandler were reunited.

As Joey watched them sitting together, he thought that he would probably get drunk tonight and go home with Lorraine as soon as possible.

At the restaurant, Janice and Lorraine left for the bathroom together, so Joey asked, "So you weren't serious with that other girl?"

Chandler said, "Oh, no. Her nostrils were too big. I was just trying to get something going so I wouldn't be alone on Valentine's Day."

"Oh. But now you're with Janice? With that voice?"

"It's not that bad," Chandler said. "She's smart and pretty, and she cares about me." He raised his foot and showed off his socks. "She bought me these Bullwinkle socks last year, when I broke up with her the first time."

"The first time?"

Chandler didn't reply, because the women returned then.

Janice saw Chandler displaying his socks and she smiled. "Oh, Chandler Bing! You do not still have those socks!"

"Yeah I do!"

They said in unison, "Moose and squirrel!" before kissing.

As the ladies sat down, Lorraine pulled Joey close, and he did not resist her shameless kiss. He tried not to pay attention to Chandler anymore, but it was difficult given Janice's laughter across the table.

When their meal arrived, Janice and Chandler even proceeded to feed each other playfully. Joey lost most of his appetite and got drunk instead. Eventually he suggested to Lorraine that they leave early and go home, and she eagerly agreed. Joey started to get out his wallet to pay, but Janice said, "Good idea. Let's all go."

"Okay." So Chandler called to the waiter for the check.

Janice also requested a doggie bag for their food.

So they ended up leaving together, but Joey assumed they'd be heading to separate destinations. However, Lorraine said that Janice was currently staying with her, so they were actually going to the same apartment.

Joey knew he couldn't bring Lorraine to Cookie's house with the kids, and he couldn't afford a hotel either. "Chandler, you sure you don't want to go back to your place? Didn't you say Ross was on a date?"

"Yeah, but I'm sick of his stupid air purifier."

"Can't you turn it off?"

"He'll get annoyed when he gets home."

So the two couples went to Lorraine's apartment. Joey hurried to bed with her and they got naked. He soon learned, though, that he could hear Janice and Chandler in the guest bedroom. She was even louder in there, and Chandler was clearly enjoying himself too. No wonder he put up with the annoying voice.

"What's wrong?" Lorraine asked Joey.

He groaned and pulled away. "I can't. Her voice is giving me a headache."

"Aw, Joey." She still tried to coax him.

"No, I'm sorry." He put pillows over his ears. "Why did we have to double date?"

She explained, "I had to see that she was all right. Chandler's dumped her three times already, and I didn't want him to break her heart again."

Joey asked, "When did he dump her?"

Lorraine described how they had dated last year, and that Chandler was too chicken to break up with her, so his friend Phoebe had to do it. Then Chandler invited her to his mom's wedding, and she thought they were getting back together, but he didn't call her after they returned to New York. Next Chandler asked Janice out for New Year's Eve, but he had only wanted someone to kiss at midnight. She fought with him, then left. "And now here he is calling her up for Valentine's Day. What am I supposed to think?"

If Joey didn't know better, he'd say that Chandler was a callous heart-breaker. "You tried talking her out of it?"

"Yeah, but she's convinced that Chandler always calls her for a reason. Because deep down he's in love with her, and someday he'll realize that they're soulmates."

"Wow." Joey felt a little sorry for her.

Lorraine asked, "So what about this girl Chandler dated last week? Did he dump her for Janice? Is he like for real now?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I-I think so. He was talking about how smart and pretty she was, and she gave him those socks."

"Oh the socks. I guess that's better. Well, what about us, huh?" She tried to kiss Joey seductively again, but he would not respond.

"I'm sorry. Maybe I should go sleep in the couch."

"Aw, Joey!"

Despite her protests, he got up and pulled on his clothes. When he walked out into the living room, Joey considered going home to get away from the noise. But he was so drunk that he didn't trust himself to get on the proper train, nor could he afford a cab. Besides, he shouldn't let Cookie's kids see him drunk like this. So Joey just lay down on the couch and shielded his ears again.

At last, Chandler and Janice finished their noisy sex, and Joey was relieved. However, soon Chandler came out of the bedroom wearing Janice's robe. It was red, silky, and somewhat short.

Chandler was startled. "Oh! Joe, what are you doing here?"

Joey swallowed and tried not to look at Chandler's bare skin or his disheveled hair. Tried not to smell him either. "I, uh, I couldn't... I'm too drunk." God, he felt horrible to say such a thing, even in a whisper.

"And she kicked you out? That's awful."

"No, I left. I-I just need some sleep."

Chandler recalled he way that Lorraine had pawed Joey all through dinner. "Oh. Okay." He found a nearby trash can and brought it over to Joey. "In case you need it."

"Thanks."

Chandler turned to the kitchen. "You want some water or anything?"

"No." He closed his eyes.

"Okay." Chandler went to the kitchen and quietly got out the restaurant leftovers from the fridge. He reheated them in the microwave, still making apologies to Joey for the noise. Then he finally took the food container and some utensils with him to the bedroom.

What Joey hadn't realized was that they were having a midnight snack so that they could go another round. Chandler recovered remarkably quickly.

Even Lorraine was annoyed, telling them to be quiet. Joey just groaned and put the sofa cushion over his head.


	32. You Always Remember Your First

Later that night, when all was quiet again, Chandler came out of the bedroom to throw away the food container.

After leaving the kitchen, he went to the sofa and knelt down beside Joey. He raised up the cushion to check whether Joey was sleeping.

He wasn't. "Chandler?"

"I'm sorry, Joe. I shouldn't have made so much noise. I tried to shush her, but she doesn't know how loud her voice can be."

Joey just shrugged and asked, "No more tonight?"

"Nope. She's asleep now, and I won't wake her up again."

"Good."

Chandler started to get up, but then he paused. "You okay, Joe? Want some aspirin or something? I can go look in the medicine cabinet."

"No, no I'm good."

"How about a blanket?"

"No." He rolled to face the sofa's back, but shivered involuntarily.

Chandler got up and went looking for a closet with blankets. He found an old quilt, and he brought it back, putting it on Joey.

Joey thanked him, but looked sad.

"Goodnight, Joe. I hope you feel better in the morning."

* * *

The next morning, Valentine's Day, Chandler dressed and immediately checked to see whether Joey had vomited. Joey hadn't, so Chandler smiled and sat next to him, feeling Joey's forehead. "Want some water?"

"I-yeah." Anything to get Chandler to go and not touch him.

Lorraine made coffee while Chandler filled a glass of water. Janice disappeared for a moment, then gave Chandler a present. He was surprised to see it was a bunch of candy hearts.

Janice read the personalized message, "Chan and Jan forever."

Chandler looked at them in shock, and Janice kissed him. "Uh, thanks," he said nervously, then covered by picking up Joey's glass of water. "For Joey." He returned to the couch and helped Joey sit up to drink it.

"I'm okay," Joey protested, but Chandler whispered to him urgently, "She ordered special candy!"

"What?" he was confused.

"Chan and Jan forever." Chandler was near to panicking. "How do I get out of this?"

In the kitchen, Janice was making breakfast with Lorraine and laughing. Chandler winced.

Joey said, "Chandler, last night, you liked her. You wanted her."

"Yeah but that was before she started talking about commitment and forever." He did not do well with long-term relationships. "Maybe she'll want me to say I love her."

Joey realized Chandler was going to dump her again. "You can't do this to her. You've dumped her three times already."

"I know, I just-" He was shaking. "I wish I had a cigarette."

Joey sat up fully, and touched his shoulder soothingly.

Janice called from the kitchen, "Chandler, honey, come on. Let Joey sleep it off."

"No, uh, he needs some aspirin."

"No, he needs coffee." Lorraine started to pour a mug.

Chandler murmured, "Maybe I can fake it for now. For one more date, then tomorrow..."

Joey looked from Chandler, to Lorraine approaching, to Janice in the kitchen putting candy hearts on pancakes for Chandler, and then he made a sudden decision.

He grabbed Chandler's face and kissed him hard on the mouth.

Lorraine screamed and spilled the coffee. Janice looked up and gasped too.

Chandler only paused the kiss to sigh in surprise. "Joe?"

Joey pushed the quilt aside and announced to the women, "Sorry I lied about high school, but me and Chandler were... not just friends. Now we're getting back together."

Lorraine stared wide-eyed. "You mean, last night, something...? Oh God."

Janice turned to Chandler desperately, "Is this true?"

Chandler nodded and took Joey's hand. "I'm sorry."

"Oh Chandler!" she cried and dropped the candy hearts.

Lorraine would have thrown coffee on them if she had any in her mug. Instead she scowled and rushed to Janice's side.

Joey stood up with Chandler and they hurried out of there. They got in a cab and Joey gave Chandler's address to the driver.

Chandler was still holding his hand as they drove away.

Joey said, "I'm sorry I did that. I couldn't think of anything else."

Chandler frowned and let go of his hand. "Oh."

Joey continued, "I just, I thought if she thought you were gay, she might give up, you know?"

"Right."

"You don't mind?"

Chandler considered it, then asked, "You don't mind about Lorraine?"

Joey shrugged. "She already heard about Vinnie and me."

"But she's not gonna make up with you now. Not after what we did to Janice."

"No, I guess not."

Chandler smiled and said, "Let me make you breakfast at my place."

* * *

They returned to Chandler's apartment, but found Ross moping with Marcel. "Your date went bad?"

"Worse!" Ross explained that he and his date ran into Carol and Susan at the restaurant. Susan had to leave for a work emergency, so Ross invited Carol to join them. Ross's date left, and he asked Carol to come back to him. "But she said no. She's still a lesbian."

Chandler sighed. "You knew that already Ross. It's been a year."

"But we were together seven years. Seven years!"

Joey thought maybe he should go, but Chandler held onto his hand. "No, um, you have to meet my friends. Ross, this is Joey."

Ross greeted him, but really wasn't paying attention to anything but his grief.

"And that's Marcel. You should meet Monica and Rachel too, Joe. Come on. Ross, did you tell them yet about last night?"

So Ross reluctantly followed them, but made Marcel stay behind.

They knocked on Monica's door and she answered. Monica immediately noticed her brother's state. "Ross, what's wrong?"

So they came in, and Ross explained his encounter with Carol. He sat on the couch, while the others gathered around or made coffee for him.

Chandler was pleased to see Phoebe was here as well. Apparently all the girls had some boyfriend bonfire last night. Phoebe said, "It totally changed our luck. We got dates with three hunky firemen."

"That's good. Hey Pheebs, this is my friend Joey."

"Oh hi."

"And that's Rachel and Monica."

"Hi." Joey still felt a little uncomfortable intruding on an emotional, private moment.

Chandler pulled him aside and whispered, "You wanna go now?"

"Yeah," Joey agreed with relief. So he said his goodbyes and walked out with Chandler. They shut the door, and Joey said, "Uh, so I'll call you?"

Chandler wouldn't let him go, though, pulling him across the hall. "No, Joe, I haven't made you breakfast yet."

"I don't need-"

"No, Joe, I insist." So they returned to the other apartment, and Chandler made Joey sit at the kitchen counter while he poured some cereal and juice for him. He even handed a banana to Marcel, before turning back to Joey.

"If you want, you can stay and have a shower," Chandler offered. "I probably need one too."

Joey noticed that Chandler was looking at him oddly, and it was distracting. He looked away and coughed.

"That's okay. Me and Lorraine didn't..."

"Well then maybe you wanna use my toothbrush? Ross wouldn't share."

Joey shrugged and started to eat his bowl of cereal. Chandler moved and took the barstool right next to him. In fact, he was rather too close and nudging their legs together.

"Joe," he said softly. "I wish you'd come visit me, or let me go to Cookie's house to see you. I miss you."

Joey said, "Well, I, um... Hey, why didn't you tell me your friends were hot, Chandler?"

"You mean Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel?"

"Yeah. You should be seeing one of them, not Janice."

Chandler shook his head. "No, it's impossible to get those girls, Joe. I thought about going after Rachel once, since Ross wouldn't do anything. Maybe it would make him jealous or something. But nope, it didn't work even as a hypothetical." Chandler laughed. "In fact, I've met Rachel four times over the years and she never remembers me. She's completely stuck up and oblivious."

"Oh, that's too bad."

"For Ross," Chandler said. He touched Joey's arm. "Did you miss me too?"

Joey looked at him hesitantly. "Chandler."

"This isn't about Mary Angela, is it? She can't hold a grudge for ten years, can she?"

"Chandler."

"We could go to a Knicks game or a movie. Anything. Whatever you used to do with Vinnie... Don't you want to try?"

Joey swallowed. "I-You sure about this, Chandler? You're not gonna regret it?"

"No." Chandler pulled him close and kissed him, just as intensely as Joey had kissed him at Lorraine's apartment. "No, I'll tell Ross and everybody about us. I'll tell mom and Annie. Just be with me, please." He kissed him again.

Joey moaned and spilled the spoon out of his cereal. He put his arms around Chandler.

They kept making out, and Chandler murmured, "Let me, um, let me shower first, Joe, and then we can-"

Joey asked, "Now? Don't you want to wait for a date first?"

"I can't. I know it's right after my breakup with Janice, but... God, I've been waiting a year."

"You have?"

He nodded and kissed Joey passionately. "Yeah. Don't go." He reluctantly let go and hurried into the bathroom.

Joey stared at the door, feeling lightheaded. He listened to the shower run, and to Marcel chattering. Was this real? He glanced at their ignored cereal, and at his own arousal. Then the shoes and clothes that Chandler had dropped on his way to the bathroom.

He no longer felt his hangover, and he was breathing fast.

Suddenly the shower turned off and Chandler opened the door, not even bothering with a towel. He smiled to see that Joey hadn't run off. "Come here, Joe. This is my bedroom."

Joey stepped off the stool and stared, realizing suddenly that Chandler still had his nubbin and hadn't sliced it off after all. That made him more aroused, and he kissed Chandler again before retreating to his bedroom.

"Mmm, Joe," Chandler moaned as they got in bed. "You feel so good."

Joey kept touching his wet skin, and Chandler hurried to undress Joey too.

They met each other's eyes and recalled their one night together ten years ago, when they were boys.

Chandler confessed that in college he went with Ross to Atlantic City once and kissed a guy in a bar, "because he reminded me of you. I missed you so much."

Joey kissed him back and said that after Vinnie left him, he went to gay bars for a while, but he stopped going, because he realized he wanted Chandler.

"Oh, Joe. Then why'd you make me chase you? Were you punishing me?"

"I thought you didn't want me. That you'd be better off with Ross."

"Ross?" he laughed, then looked more serious. "He isn't you. Nobody's you."

Joey kissed him again.

* * *

They were still making love when Ross returned to the apartment and found Marcel eating from the abandoned cereal bowls. He had just spotted the clothes on the floor when he heard the sounds coming from Chandler's bedroom. Sex? How could Chandler have possibly picked up a girl this morning after just getting home? Then he heard Joey's voice.

"Chandler!" He enjoyed being just as loud as Janice had been. The bed rocked forcefully under them.

Ross was shocked, and he rushed back across the hall to inform the girls. They didn't believe him until they too eavesdropped, then they gasped and left again.

"Oh my God."

Phoebe giggled, "Ha, knew he had a gay quality!"

Monica asked, "Who's this Joey guy? The same one Chandler talks about all the time?"

"Yeah the one from high school."

Rachel asked, "Have they been dating all this time, secretly?"

Monica shrugged. "I don't know. Wait, what about Janice and all those other girlfriends?"

"Yeah," Rachel looked confused. "That's weird."

Ross asked, "What should we do? Pretend we didn't hear anything?"

"I guess so, unless he mentions it."

"But he brought Joey over today. He wanted us to know."

"He didn't actually _say_."

Monica checked her watch. "Never mind. We've gotta all get to work. We'll discuss when we get home."

"Okay." So everybody scattered.

Ross felt embarrassed to return to his apartment while Joey and Chandler were still doing it, but he forced himself to. He cleaned up after Marcel, then left for the museum.

* * *

When Joey and Chandler finally exhausted themselves, they lay back on the bed.

"That was amazing," Chandler sighed breathlessly. "Maybe I should call in sick to work and stay here all day."

Joey shook his head. "I better get back to Cookie's house before they worry about me."

"Oh, okay." He kissed him. "I wish you could move in with me, Joe."

"You can't kick Ross out."

"I guess not. Or maybe I'll let him have the apartment and get a place with you?"

"What, and let the monkey have your room?"

Chandler laughed with him. "I gotta tell them first. I guess I'll call them from work, and then you can come by and meet them for real tonight."

"Sure." Joey got up and reached for a robe. "Chandler, are you gonna tell your dad too?"

"My dad? Oh." He sat up. "You mean, make up with him?"

"Yeah."

"I did, Joey. A couple of months ago, 'cause I needed his advice on what I was doing wrong to win you back."

Joey was happy. "That's good."

"Yeah. He'll probably invite us to come see him in Vegas."

Joey laughed. "Maybe we'll visit Vinnie too."

Chandler smiled. "Happy Valentine's Day, Joe."

"Happy Valentine's Day."

Chandler got out of bed and came toward him. "Maybe we can share a shower before you go?"

Joey nodded and they hurried to the bathroom together.

* * *

So later that afternoon, Joey was introduced properly to the gang, and Chandler enjoyed calling Joey his boyfriend now, instead of just his old friend from high school. There was some embarrassment when Phoebe mentioned that they'd overheard the sex this morning, but they managed to laugh it off.

Then Joey and Chandler left for their Valentine's Day date. The girls felt sorry for Janice to be dumped so many times, so they decided to send her flowers.

They also had their dates with their three firemen, only to discover that the firemen were married or had girlfriends already. Clearly their luck had not changed for the better.

Ross would sometimes hang out with Joey and Chandler at Knicks games or other stuff that they specifically didn't want to be alone for, but he still felt like a third wheel.

He also found Chandler looking into advertisements for apartments and he realized that he wanted to live with Joey. Ross decided to make it easier on them and to move out with Marcel. It was time that he got over Carol and moved on, whether with Rachel or somebody else. Fortunately, he was able to get a place nearby, and he didn't get phased out of the group.

Ross finally asked out Rachel, and she was surprised, especially given his recent moping over Carol. She agreed so long as she knew she wasn't a Carol-substitute.

"No, come on, Rach. You knew I liked you back in high school too."

"Yeah, and you want us to be like another couple from high school?"

"Maybe. Do you wanna hear some songs I wrote for you?" So Ross got out his keyboard and played for her "Emotional Knapsack."

She did her best to be polite about Ross's so-called music, but afterward she had to gossip with Monica about it. No matter what Rachel said, they all wanted to hear the mysterious "sound" as well, only to regret it. Only Phoebe really liked it, and she and Ross bonded over it. That made it easier for Rachel to gently let Ross down and say that she preferred to remain just friends.

Ross got over it by writing more songs, and he also had to give Marcel away to a zoo. But he was happy about Carol giving birth to Ben, and not long after, Ross met a great girl named Julie during a trip to China.

Monica and Rachel soon had more luck in their careers than their love lives. Monica got promoted to chef at the restaurant and Rachel decided to quit waitressing to go into fashion. Phoebe meanwhile found out about her half-brother Frank Jr. as well as her birthmother Phoebe Abbott. These discoveries were shocking and upsetting at first, but she soon learned to love her family much better than her twin sister Ursula.

Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler stayed together and even visited the Tribbianis in Queens to clear the air of secrets. Mary Angela was quite surprised, but fortunately she was happy herself now, and forgave them. She had often wondered why Joey didn't seriously date another guy after Vinnie.

Chandler eventually found that, unlike with Janice, he had no trouble contemplating spending forever with Joey.

The End

* * *

**[At last it's done! Thanks for your patience guys.**

**According to flashbacks, Chandler has been introduced to Rachel four times, Thanksgivings 1987 and 1988, the college Winter Break party in 1988, the 1993 flashback, and the Pilot episode.**

**Assume that Monica does eventually get married to Richard or Pete, or whoever, and that they do have kids someday. I felt bad for Janice, and thought about pairing her off with Ross or Phoebe or even Gunther, but I can't decide. I also didn't know whether Rachel ought to end up with Joshua or not. So let's leave it open-ended and just say that people were happy and did find love.]**


End file.
